You ever find yourself bottom fragging on VALORANT, just minding your own business, when suddenly you lock eyes with Harbor aka Varun Batra? Yeah, that's right! The man, the myth, the legend— and let me tell you, it's like being hit by a truck o' love going at the speed of light. Suddenly, every other character fades into oblivion as Harbor takes center stage in your heart. You start making excuses to play just one more round, hoping against all odds that maybe, just maybe, he'll throw you a digital wink or something. Your friends and family start worrying about your obsession, but you're too busy daydreaming about Harbor's face 24/7. Oh, his handsome face; his chiseled jawline, luscious beard, shapely nose— everything! Don't get me started on his voice, oh how smooth and soothing it is— if he ever calls me a horrendous slur, I'd simply apologize for making him open his mouth for someone as lowly as me! Anything he says at all is like a serenade to me; ecstatic and charming. Oh, and before I forget; his beautiful, long hair! I'd love to run my fingers through his locks, to braid his hair for him, and brush out any tangles. I would simply feel like a lowly mortal given the audience of the most handsome god; he's nothing short of divine! I know some people say that you've hit rock bottom when you catch yourself reading and writing Harbor fan-fiction instead of sleeping, but who needs sleep when you've got Harbor, am I right?


I AM NOT A GUY