hey siri show me this guys balls

Fresh off the boat from reddit, kid? heh I remember when I was just like you. Braindead. Lemme give you a tip so you can make it in this cyber sanctuary: never make jokes like that. You got no reputation here, you got no name, you got ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ here. It's survival of the fittest and you ain't gonna survive long on 4chan by saying stupid jokes that your little hugbox ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ reddit friends would upboat. None of that here. You don't upboat. You don't downboat. This ain't reddit, kid. This is 4chan. We have REAL intellectual discussion, something I don't think you're all that familiar with. You don't like it, you can hit the bricks on over to imgur, you daily show watching ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

i'll drink to that!

*kickflips*

Hey Ewen,

I’ve been thinking a lot about you, and I just want to say that I’m really concerned about your drinking. It hurts me to see how it’s affecting you, and I want you to know that you deserve better than this.

I’m not here to judge, just to remind you that you’re not alone. I believe in you, and I’m here to support you in whatever way you need. You’re so important to me, and I want to see you healthy and happy.

Take care of yourself, Ewen. You matter to me.

Marc

I stare blankly into the mirror, my reflection gazes back at me. The longer I look, the deeper I fall. My eyes so round and wide, like stars shining in the night. Leaning forward I give the mirror a peck, he kisses back. Shocked, I give it another kiss, another kiss back. This time I decide to make a move.
I slide my tongue in my reflections mouth, swirling around, exploring every cavity and corner. He reaches through and grabs me by the waist. Hot fire shoots all over my body "Oh to explore myself" I wonder quietly, is he thinking the same? In that instance my reflection reaches for my belt, fumbling with the zipper. With once swift movement we're both undressed.
Wow, I never knew I looked so good. With arms stretched he starts caressing my curves, the reflection bites on my neck.
Suddenly I jolt awake, I'm in my bed, my sheets covered in a sticky mess. Oh no I think to myself, I've just had a wet dream. As I roll over, my reflection stares back at me...

I'm in the thick of it, everybody knows
They know me where it snows, I skied in and they froze
I don't know no nothin' 'bout no ice, I'm just cold
Forty somethin' milli' subs or so, I've been told

I'm in my prime and this ain't even final form
They knocked me down, but still, my feet, they find the floor
I went from living rooms straight out to sold-out tours
Life's a fight, but trust, I'm ready for the war

Woah-oh-oh
This is how the story goes
Woah-oh-oh
I guess this is how the story goes