I'm a professional bad luck magnet, and, when I’m not dodging bullets, a relentless achievement hunter. If there’s a trophy to be earned, a secret collectible to find, or some absurd challenge that requires me to finish a game blindfolded while juggling knives, you bet I’m on it. I call it an unhealthy obsession. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got another achievement to chase and a pile of bad decisions to make.