Recent reviews by Witch Hunter

when daycare is too expensive so you give your kids a credit card and internet access. now theyre spending $5k USD a week on shark cards just to orbital strike NPCs.
8.5/10 pack your bags Sharon, we lost the house because little jimmy wanted a flying motorcycle.

Draxx them sklounst

What does this guy think he is, an Indian? What is he, a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ *sshole? What the f*ck is he doin’?
Not ever, no way
Now he’s Johnny Hammersticks. Hammerin' away like he’s freakin’ Tommy Noble, the hell’s he doin’?
Thinks he’s... thinks he's got it goin’ bossa nova, No way, no way…
What is this garbage?
What is this? Oh I’m king of the trees, I’m the tree-meister … I count on them. When sometimes I pry, I like to [unintelligible]
Yeah right …. yeeeah right
This guy’s a [redacted]. The guy’s some sort of [redacted] Indian in the teepee. Ooh, this guy thinks he’s Captain Knots? He thinks he’s Captain Tying Knots, when everyone needs some knots tied they go to him - BULL. SH*T. Bullsh*t

[unintelligible] such a b*tch, he thinks he’s Miss Sand, drinking out of cups…bein’ a b*tch

How ‘bout her fist? How bout her [unintelligible]
Tired of the little kid in the background f*ckin’ goin’ craaazzzaayy
Who’s this guy? Mr. Balloons. Mr. Balloon Hands. No way. No way, get real. Like those things

Mr. Walk Way. Mr. Walk Down Me, I’m The Walk Way … lead me to the building - f*ck you

5, 6, 4, 3

Yeeaheh Right!

Here’s some stupid b*tch. Who paid for that floor? Not me. No way!
Never payin’ for no floor ever again. Not ONCE, not NEVA! Nope -

Who’s chair is that? Who brought that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ chair here - that's not my chair. Not my chair, not my problem - that’s what I say

You dont like your car? You're out of gas? Is it snowing outside? Try our new sled coated with Lubetastic 69 Lubricant to make it extra slippery! Watch out, its really fricken fast! The new Sled 1000 coated with Lubetastic, gives you fantastic speed. Order now! Chat Till You Die News. Today a man has been reported of chatting... till he died. How sad? Although, I like it. I like it pretty much. I mean, I do not like the fact that the guy died, I like that he died because he was chatting, you know. But I love chatting, I must say I love it. And he did it till he died! He died doing what he loved best, my man weird music thingy He died doing what he loved best, my man And I think he was smart.

Get Down, I Wanna See Hands

the game is okay but only if you turn off any and all types of communication, including radio messages. teammates don't have anything of value to say, ever.

Maybe Gaijin should take the hint and remove chat from the game; while they're at it maybe get rid of the forums too for how often they leak documents.

Update: "What't the reason for negative review?" I don't need a reason, this is Steam. millions of folks just be out here posting whatever they want. could be their favorite game and they'll leave a negative review like "0/10 can't neeble the scrimble". don't take things so seriously. Also I wasn't telling the devs to turn off comms, that was directed at "you [generally speaking]", sorry if there is a language barrier.

0/10 devs dont understand my plight since i can only speak gutter-tier english. also, can't neeble the scrimble.

Don't play this if you intend care about things like "Search Warrants" or "being nice." You'll spend most of your time breaking into places and stealing things, and all semblance of repercussions becomes null after you leave the premises.
It's Procedural generation, you'll end up with a "Delancey Street" and also a "Delancey Ave" topped off with an apartment called "Delancey Heights" that is nowhere near either of those roads.
World props like Food Trucks seem to pop back in too late, there's some optimization issues with "very large" maps, which are essentially 5x5 city blocks.
Investigations usually call for finding "the specific" breadcrumb trail, so far its been fingerprints on the murder weapon each time, and going to the victims place of employment to find a match and info there.
UI/UX kinda feels scuffed, navigating between inventory, map, and evidence board.
Inventory is limited to four slots, Can't seem to find a way to pawn off expensive stolen goods. my virtual apartment is a hoard of diamonds and questionably-radioactive syringes.

Why the Positive review though? Despite all the flaws the game is still fun. The detective work is rewarding; finding an airduct three stories above the crime scene that leads inside so the Robocops don't get mad at me is great, usually because I'm Breaking and Entering into someone's apartment to do so. It's a good and proper sandbox, with a fun concept. It needs work, but its an Early Access title. The core mechanics are good, which is an earmark that the game won't be permanently in development. Get the procedural gen sanitized, optimize the loading seams, and maybe a couple more tooltips on different world functions, and it's a solid game.

Worth the sale price, this is more fun than a $80 dumpster fire from any AAA studio so long as you're not addicted to PvP hate-gaming, balance patch notes, or anything with common-to-legendary item tier'ing.

Every reviewer gives this game a bad rap because they crash, forgetting the game just released. go play tarkov 5 years ago and tell me how smooth the game is, you petty freaks.

Every other reviewer complains about hackers. I haven't ran into one yet. what I have run into is no-lifers with max level gear and scopes on every gun, so maybe that's why i assume they're not hacking - its called common sense.

Every other other reviewer is mad that there's no weapon balance, either because they have white gear and cant do end-game content, or because the "green tier" weapons can still kill them, specifically the Bulldog shotgun pistol and the Manticore rifle. Lemme tell ya, these guns are perfect. it gives anyone with a modicum of value invested in their kit a chance to win a fight. when they die to a Bulldog, they get salty they get two tapped, yet they're carrying a 1-2 tap sniper rifle on their back and are carrying a medium range rifle. Maybe don't get too close to a shotgun, you unobservant idiots. If you don't want a shotgun to do what a shotgun does, keep complaining, and they'll nerf every weapon besides the 1-2 meta guns in the game and this will end up just like every other game. Live a little, touch some grass, maybe try to have fun once in your worthless lives.

Keep in mind, this is a free-to-play game. You idiots used mommy's christmas money to drop $100+ on tarky's super ohana bussy edition. If you hate it so much, go play tar- oh thats right, you're too busy being a whiny scrub cause they're not announcing a wipe, or they have some event that forces you to not have infinite one-tap laser guns with bullets made out of gold. I am so sorry your game about scavenging for weapons has you scavenging for weapons, instead of having the financial backing of an international super power to build you an adderall head clicking simulator.

And before you forget, The Cycle had VOIP before tarky did, and tarky added it BECAUSE of Cycle.

Stay mad, hoes. Jaeger did something good here, and your pathetic man-baby mentality can't see it any other way. or build a real computer that doesn't crash every 5 minutes, though you might need a job to afford that. good luck, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

It's a First-person Idle game, with survival and crafting elements, meaning you can't really idle, but dying doesn't seem to matter so...

Was fun enough, despite being early access. the "story" messages fall off about an hour in, meaning there isn't much feeling of progression outside of maxing out the equipment trees, which takes a few hours if you don't stop to explore too much. Getting to self-sustenance is straightforward and easy, marred by resource miners having to be in certain parts of the map to acquire certain goods, which definitely helps pass time while you watch the arbitrary "success number" do the stonks meme.

The game isn't too strict (solar panels work in caves, at night, facing the wrong way, not set to wumbo) so it's pretty laid back, not having to min-max energy acquisition/output etc.

One late game resource seems to be finite, however you can recycle it fully lossless, so really the only mistakes you can make that kill a save file is abandoning high-value materials or scrapping them intentionally.

Surprisingly I did not crash or suffer any save corruption, so I can't speak to that.
If you're on the fence, I'd wait a little while to ultimately buy the game so balances, progression, and enjoyment can be fleshed out more.

20000000 IQ review: gaem

look I'm one of the cool kids haha so funny I'm so witty haha let's pretend that being depressed is cool too why not, nothing else matters- oh wait thats memebaby nihilism! tack that onto my bingo card. jeez I'm winning so hard guys, Pretty soon i'll get enough likes to feel validated.

I hope anyone who writes reviews like doesn't breed.