I kinda feel like I’m bored but bored is not the right word because I’m constantly entertaining my self and staving off boredom. When you are bored you can at least think, I can’t think because my brain is foggy and filled with little fragments of videos I’ve watched. I also sorta feel tired, but I’m not actually tired cause I can never sleep. People blame it on the blue light of the screen, not getting sun or lack of exercise. But I think the problem is the certain energy remains in me that’s not supposed to stay inside and we are not designed to have in us. Because when I'm on the computer I feel like I’m experiencing something but I’m not actually experiencing anything and I’m not doing anything and on some level my body and mind feel this. And its like life is a kinda paralysis, never moving, doing nothing, not really feeling anything, looking at one single thing. The one normal feeling I definitely can feel is anger, I need anger. It’s the only thing that gets this tension out of me and I basically use any excuse to get angry. I think I can say that I love anger, I love screaming and I love rage. I am constantly seeking out things that make me angry and getting more and more sensitive to losing it. So, in a certain way all the mean ♥♥♥♥ heads and ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ on the internet are needed and even though I go ape and freakout at the slightest troll I actually really need these trolls to excise all these bad feelings in my spirit.