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probably the most disturbing duck ive ever seen

I could beat you in a fight easily because I'm fat.

You'd have to aim for my head, because my body is padded by 6 inches of tactical karate fat while I can strike you anywhere and hit vital organs due to your total lack of absorption you'll just die.

Thanks to the extra 150 lbs of armor I carry around, my I'm lifting 24/7. I won't even need to punch you I can literally just sprint at you and trample you to death like a bison.

Your girlfriend knows this and sees my fatness as a virtue and a strength. She wants a strong man to protect her and provide for her and being fat shows I have an overabundance of material resources. So not only will I be beating you like a bull, I'll be the bull in your bedroom nailing your girlfriend.

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