3 people found this review helpful
7 people found this review funny
Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 1,135.2 hrs on record (289.9 hrs at review time)
Posted: 21 Mar, 2016 @ 4:52pm

How to play Byzcan'tine Empire:

Attempt 1: Get Poland as ally but Lithuania PU never fires. Check Austria diplo and it's a minor in a PU with Aragon 2 years into the game.

Attempt 2: Ottomans ignore you for 15 years and blob literally everything in Asia Minor and all minors in Balkans. Poland then dishonors call to defensive war against Ottomans for no obvious reason (not already in a war etc.).

Attempt 3: Ottomans declare war before you can get any allies.

Attempt 4: Hungary white peaces out while Ottomans are also majorly losing a war with Mamluks on the other end. Ottomans then wreck you.

Attempt 5: Game starts out good. Within three years of game start your ruler dies and a rebel pretender much stronger than you stack wipes your army and takes Constantinople.

Attempt 6: Game starts out good. Within four years of game start your ruler dies and a rebel pretender much stronger than you stack wipes your army and takes Constantinople.

Attempt 7: Game starts out good. Within two years of game start your ruler dies and a rebel pretender much stronger than you stack wipes your army and takes Constantinople.

Attempt 8: Everything set up nice with Polish/Lithuania ally. Wardec Ottomans and Poland/Lithuania get completely destroyed due to generals literally rolling eternal 0's and 1's. Ottomans stack wipes everything they look at with fewer troops, worse generals and with crossing penalties.

Attempt 9: Poland and Hungary are rivals. You decide to try again game hasn't even started yet.

Attempt 10: Poland and Hungary are rivals. You decide to try again game hasn't even started yet.

Attempt 11: Poland and Hungary are rivals. You decide to try again game hasn't even started yet.

Attempt 12: You decide the fourth rivalry in a row may not be a bad thing if you try an Austria alliance again. Improve relations with all 3 anyway. Can't get diplo high enough to ally Austria (stops at -13 with no other options). Ottomans wardec before you can ally Poland.


10/10 would play Groundhog's Day Simulator 2016 again
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3 Comments
风止松犹韵 31 Mar, 2016 @ 2:52am 
Groundhog's Day Simulator 2016 LMFAO
immott 26 Mar, 2016 @ 2:42pm 
I got Poland and I won first try :p but I didn't continue the game kek
SjcvH 26 Mar, 2016 @ 1:34pm 
I know that feel, after 3 evening of trying it finally worked out and i could restore the roman empire. The game fellt sorry for me and i got a PU over France in the 1600s