He may be gone, but his Steam account is still online, status: “Away.”

Rest in peace, Dull Fool. We never got to see you at your fullest, but we did appreciate your dullest to no end. May your respawn timer be short, your ping low, and your snacks eternal.

His passing was tragic, yet somehow inevitable. Some say it was the excessive energy drinks. Others say it was when he tried to “upgrade his pacemaker’s firmware manually.” All we know is that he went out the way he lived, surrounded by RGB lights, Bluetooth devices he couldn’t pair, and a faint smell of burnt ramen.

We’ll never forget him. His legacy lives on in every rage compilation, every cursed meme folder, every questionable Google search that starts with “can you eat…”

He claimed to have invented the concept of “breakfast lasagna,” which was just three Pop-Tarts stacked with ketchup in between. He said it gave him “protein powers.” It did not.

Ezekiel loved his family. He showed it by sending them unsolicited memes at 3 a.m. and calling every birthday “Patch Day.” When asked how old he was turning, he’d say, “Old enough to unlock the Battle Pass of Life.” When he sneezed, it sounded like a Minecraft ghast. When he fell asleep, it was usually mid-sentence, mid-snack, or mid-scream.

Ezekiel spent most of his days gaming, but not like the rest of us. He played the real classics: Goat Simulator, Club Penguin Rewritten, and that one obscure fishing game that came free with his printer. He would stare at the screen for hours, muttering phrases like “they buffed the trout again” or “fishing is political now.”

Outside of gaming, he lived a simple life. His diet consisted mostly of off-brand cereal, Monster Energy, and whatever expired food he found in the “discount bin of destiny” at Walmart.

Dull Fool, aka My Grandpa Exploded, aka Asshair Gaming, aka Ezekiel “Femboy” Jones, was a good man. He lived a joyful and happy life, always with a smile on his face and a gamer dent in his skull. His skull was, in many ways, a topographical map of his life, each groove a memory, each dent a headbutt to the desk after a failed Terraria boss fight.

He wasn’t perfect. No man is. He once microwaved a fork because he thought it would “charge it with lightning powers.” He believed HDMI stood for “Hot Dog Management Interface.” But damn it, he was our idiot.

oh yhis? this is a glitch i have courruption powers
dont mess wit me.

*raps you*

oh hey!
i-i-i kinda.... like you......

*burps cutely*

Honestly pass

dullfool
more liek stupid dumb idiot!!!

where is my crown

chilli

whoops its all over me screen. clean up on aisle 3, my pants!

seems cool

🖕-rep.. beware🖕👻👻

guacamole nword penis

h

catexplode

im sorry... (that sounded sick as FCK btw... i'll save that one for later..)

just smoked an opp, their skin came off their bone, you don’t want to be turned into a example 🧏‍♂️

🖕-rep.. beware🖕

can we please just edge together

sob

im pretty sure i had a reason to say wow i genuinely cannot remember

Wow

i am edging rn

hey, sorry i saw your profile and i just thought you looked cute in your picture, i really wanted to tell you that)) it's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! i don't know its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwhiches. we should really play l4d2 sometimes its a really cool zombie game with a lot fo scary moments, but dont worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting i swear im just trying to be friendly i really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? really sorry im really shy i don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx

edging to this rn

Sometimes I fantasize about Misato coming home drunk and beating me until I feel numb. She kicks me in the ribs until I can hardly breathe. Then she starts to cry and apologizes, begging me to forgive her. She holds me all night as I gently cry into her t-shirt. Please help is there any hope for me

hey, sorry i saw your profile and i just thought you looked cute in your picture, i really wanted to tell you that)) it's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! i don't know its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwhiches. we should really play l4d2 sometimes its a really cool zombie game with a lot fo scary moments, but dont worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting i swear im just trying to be friendly i really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? really sorry im really shy i don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx

I farted on a squirrel while riding a motorcycle because I'm AWESOME!

bro

hey, sorry i saw your profile and i just thought you looked cute in your picture, i really wanted to tell you that)) it's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! i don't know its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwhiches. we should really play l4d2 sometimes its a really cool zombie game with a lot fo scary moments, but dont worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting i swear im just trying to be friendly i really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? really sorry im really shy i don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx

hey, sorry i saw your profile and i just thought you looked cute in your picture, i really wanted to tell you that)) it's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! i don't know its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwhiches. we should really play l4d2 sometimes its a really cool zombie game with a lot fo scary moments, but dont worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting i swear im just trying to be friendly i really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? really sorry im really shy i don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx

hey, sorry i saw your profile and i just thought you looked cute in your picture, i really wanted to tell you that)) it's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! i don't know its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwhiches. we should really play l4d2 sometimes its a really cool zombie game with a lot fo scary moments, but dont worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting i swear im just trying to be friendly i really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? really sorry im really shy i don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx

boom boom goes pop pop

meh

nuh uh

I hate this person in particular.