♥♥♥♥ you, ASTs. I don't care if you're the best healer in the game right now because you are ASS to play. Your personal damage is ♥♥♥♥ and you just have to hope and pray that your teammates are making good use of your damage buffs. You get NO feedback, no satisfaction, from the core gimmick of your job, unless you use parse mods. That's certified lame. Also, your RNG is dumb, I don't care that Divination doesn't require seals anymore, your new buff move with the seals is stupid. And you have such ♥♥♥♥ aim they had to make Earthly Star a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ raid-wide. Your objectively more enjoyable gimmick got literally bisected in Endwalker and to make up for it they gave you the stupidest healing move in the game. I hope you like doing nothing but waiting until you can use Macro Cosmos again because all you have in between is stupid ass cards like an elementary schooler hiding their Pokemon collection under the table.

Scholars, don't think you're getting away with it either. You're just a worse AST. You're the Monk of healers. Good output but so painful to play that no one uses it anyway. Your moveset has no synergy, your pet is jank, and the only interesting gimmick you had was gutted several expansions ago. Also, the Arcanist levelling system is dumb. I bet most of you are only playing SCH to not have to deal with DPS queues for Summoner. And Expediency is just the "useful but boring as ♥♥♥♥" cherry on top of the "useful but boring as ♥♥♥♥" ice cream sundae. I hope you like being drafted into Extreme trials just so you can make the other people's rotations drift slightly less and also spam your one other decent move that is only remotely good when it crits. ♥♥♥♥ off, I hope you bite your tongue while chomping down on your fairy.

Sages, you're new and I'm not going to judge you quite yet. Although you certainly don't seem to be the Green DPS everyone was hoping you'd be. Maybe in a couple months when all the newbie healers have dropped you to go back to Samurai I can sentence you properly. Until then- USE YOUR ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ESUNAS.

So let's cut to the chase. White Mage is the coolest, most fun healer and it's not even close. Literally the only downside is starting at Level 1 and that doesn't stop classes like Paladin from being popular as ♥♥♥♥. Endwalker has taken what made us good and made us even better and it's not even funny how great we are. We are the best healer for dungeons and alliance raids with the absolute beast that is Holy. That's right, the spell that saved the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ world in that one FF game everyone knows about, we toss it out like candy on Halloween. Best stun in the game and it's on a healer. That's right ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, Damage Is Mitigation, Stun is Mitigation, WHITE MAGE IS MITIGATION. All the other healers have to wait for you to take damage or predict incoming damage to heal, meanwhile I'm throwing Glares at the boss like I'm causing the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Flood. AST can't even do its own damage, it has to chuck dinky buffs at randos and hope they don't suck. The enemy can't hurt my teammates if it's dead. The only HP bar I am looking at is at the enemy's and how quickly it goes from 100% to 0. Oh, and if the tank absolutely needs my help (probably not if it's a Paladin who seem to be all the rage these days) I can just weave in one of my several oGCDs. Yeah that's right AST, you're not special anymore, ♥♥♥♥ off. Oh, Sage can deal DPS while healing? First of all, Kardion healing is super weak, that's why you have all those other buttons. Second of all, I can do that too, it's called Assize. (And Holy is super good dps/stun mitigation so like. That's basically healing too.) Oh, and my charged instant cast heal that's equal to a Cure II in potency charge up my other other monstrously good AOE attack. SCH and SGE can put shields? Wow, so can I, it's called Divine Benison and I can store two charges now. That's mainly for keeping me alive though (I have to get into the thick of things for my Holys; not everyone can send their fairy in to do their work for them.) If the tank actually needs healing? Eh, that's what Asylum, Regen, and Medica II are for. I'm a regen healer, after all. If I'm busting out the Cure IIs, someone has ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up somewhere. Oh, and the DPS can get some regen too I guess, Medica II is an aoe after all. I'm basically a DPS myself though so we don't always need the luxury of some Red Floor Tanks.

Blood for the blood lily. I am the master of life and death. I choose the fates of my enemies and allies alike. Try and stand in my way, and you will face the wrath of the elements, the earth, the light, and Hydaelyn herself.