Heathen: *exists*
literally every single being in the universe: "man why do i feel like paying this man more than 50% of my monthly paycheck?"

will he ever return? find out next time on "College is a ♥♥♥♥♥ Z"!

buy and sell me daddy

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*notices your medical degree* OwO whats this????

‼️📢ATTENTION📢‼️ALL🍆DICKCEMBER🌽 👱🏿DADDIES👨🏽 ITS THE MOST👏👌 WONDERFUL✨⏰TIME⏳ OF 📅YEAR📆 AGAIN 👉YOU👈 💁KNOW💭 WHAT❓ THAT 🗯MEANS💬 ITS 🕰TIME⏱TO SIT🍑 🔛 🎅🏻SANTAS🎅🏾 LAP 💥POP💥 YOUR🙋🏾 🍑♥♥♥♥♥🌮 👇🏾UNDER👇🏾 THE 🎁CHRISTM🍑ASS 🌲TREE🌲 MIX 😩CUMMIES💦 INTO👉👌 YOUR 🍶EGGNOG🍶 AND 👊SHOVE✊ A 👢STOCKING👢 👆🏽UP👆🏽👩🏾YOUR👱🏼‍♀️ 😺♥♥♥♥♥🌮 BECAUSE YOU💁 💭KNOW💭 🙋🏾‍♂️DADDYS💁‍♂️ GONNA BE 😫✊🍆💦♥♥♥♥♥♥♥👅 DOWN👇🏾 THE 🏡CHIMNEY🏚 AND 🙌GIVING 🙋🏾YOU👸🏽 A 🛍GIFT🎁 YOU 🙅WONT🙅‍♂️ FORGET💭 📲SEND📲 THIS TO 1️⃣0️⃣ MISTLETOE🌿 MISTRESSES👸🏿 WHO YOURE💁GONNA 🅱️ SPENDING 👯THE 📆SEASON 👯‍♂️WITH OR ELSE 💁‍♂️DADDY🙅‍♂️ WILL BE 🎁GIVING📦 YOU 😱COAL😭 INSTEAD OF 💦CUMMIES😫