Recent reviews by Cocaine Toddler

this game was vert dissapointing. im not sure how this games supposed to go but i played until the c0ounter stoped.i played for like 5 min then it said somthing like"you died 5 min 23 sec". and now i have to restart. theres nothing significant its just as soon as it was getting somewhat scary it stopped

this is the most boring ♥♥♥♥ ive ever played, all you do is go from rock to rock for hours

theres a black screen everytime i start it up. dont waste your money and buy it for an old console if you have one.

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because this game gave me cancer anyways.

Be prepaired to be discriminated against for being american

not the proudest nut i've busted

wel lets see here.....

im not 100% sure on what i should say but i still want to make my self useful so here is a guid on how to properly masterbait

Apply lube or lotion to your hand. There is no real requirement for either one. Avoid any personal lubricant that contains flavors or extra colors, as they aren't necessary. Use any lotion that you like. Moisture is ideal as it will make masturbating easier, more pleasurable and will help you avoid any friction burns.
Put your penis in your hand. Rub the lotion on it and get it nice and lubed up. Get a firm but not painful grip on your penis and start stroking it using long strokes. Begin at the bottom of the shaft and go clear to the end, using a bit of a pulling motion.
Start masturbating using shorter and faster strokes. This will get things moving along. Point your penis up towards the ceiling and stroke it. Add more lube or lotion if you need it.
Once you feel like you about to orgasm, start pulling it faster and in shorter strokes. Pull the head a little bit, but not too hard. Keep going until you ♥♥♥ and then clean yourself up!


Tip: Use any visual aids that you need, such as porn movies.

you know how there is a chinese version of everything and its always worse. this is kinda like a chinese version of world of war craft. play asta online if you dont want to pay 20$ a month for WOW

this game has alot bugs. i was playing it for about 10 min.but then i just stopped moving. i was resting and i was even alseep for a little bit and i still couldnt move. i looked it up and still no help. theres some red anvil on the side of my screen and i think that might have somthing to do with it. in that case this game isnt super buggy