Recent reviews by Assclown

A charming game about real estate and cabaret club management.
I don't know why but there's fighting here and there.

Nominated for GOTY. I would nominate the game for the Best Soundtrack Award and the Outstanding Story-Rich Game Award if I could.

This is one of the best rogue-lite games out there. It can even appeal to those who don't prefer the genre, through tight gameplay and an interesting narrative.

But don't play it when you have anything important to do. The "one more game" mindset is more dangerous than ever with this game.

Get it

Having had a horrible pile of trash that can barely be called a laptop, I've always had a soft spot for indie games with low requirements, especially ones with pixel graphics. Heck, even now, with a massive upgrade from integrated graphics to GTX 1650, I find myself looking for those kinds of games more than the games I could never have hoped to play before.

While looking at my library for games to play, I stumbled upon this one game in my Favorites category. A game that had a special place in my heart. You guessed it, Celeste. Now I've finished this game before (although not 100% because I'm not a masochist), but something about it just kept on pulling me to it. I'll try my best to explain.

I won't spoil the story, but I think that it relates to many people, and can even have an impact on somebody by helping them overcome a significant barrier in his/her life. Vague, but eh.

The gameplay is quite hard at times, but completely fair, and extremely fun. It has simple and minimal controls, but don't let that fool you. This game is known for its brutal difficulty, but every time you die, it's always your own fault, and every death is an opportunity to learn to be better. And even with simple controls, the game introduces new mechanics in each chapter, so the game will most likely never become stale.

Replaying the game, I noticed that I went through it significantly faster with less deaths compared to my first playthrough. Through this, I realized that this game probably made me better at games in general (though I'd say that I wasn't bad at all to begin with *slight shrug*). I always felt proud when I got through a tough-looking spot on the first try.

Oh and how could I forget, the dang soundtrack. I'm not some kind of music connoisseur(?), but I personally enjoyed the OST. The tracks fit their respective levels pretty well, they convey emotion well, and their remixes are absolute fire. The game definitely goes in the category "Great Soundtrack".

I'm sure that I missed something, but whatever. Forgive me for the poorly structured sentences, if there are any. I'm drunk and suddenly felt the need to let people know about this genuine masterpiece of a game. If you're looking for a challenging platformer, incredible fun, and an unforgettable experience, please do yourself a favor and try this game out.

A great rogue-like Metroidvania. With lots of weapons, equipment, and upgrades, the game offers a wide variety of different builds. The gameplay is extremely fun. The combat system is just what the description says: epic responsive, fluid and fun to play. You'd think that beating the final boss would be the end, but it's really just a new beginning with higher difficulty, new items, and new enemies. One thing to note though is that the later difficulties aren't for everyone. To wrap things up, this game is for anyone who craves for a fun, addictive, time-consuming, souls-like Metroidvania.

Nominated for Game of the Year 2018

I had this on my wishlist years before its full release. I think I held myself back from buying it because it was in early access (and also because I was waiting for a sale). I checked the store page every day and even marked the release date on my calendar.

And I have to say, it was worth the wait.

First of all, the graphics of the game were very appealing to me. I think it's what pulled me in at first. Having a low spec piece of garbage that is my laptop, I play mostly games with pixel graphics, and it must have grown on me. For people like me who love this kind of style, you won't be disappointed.

And then there's the concept. An MMORPG without the hassle of actual people? Count me in. Who would have thought that a single-player MMO would be a thing? It's really cool to see the divide between a game and real life through the characters and dialogue. It almost feels like they're breaking the fourth wall.

The story, in my opinion, is great, with a few twists here and there. The characters are likeable and feel like people as opposed to just NPCs (but of course there's a limit to that, because they *are* just NPCs). But I wish that there were more opportunities to get to know them better, and at some points know the motives of their actions (Looking at you, Tronny) .

The gameplay is a bunch of fun. There's a good mix of combat and puzzles. The game allows you to choose among various playstyles, not limited to just one at a time. There's melee and ranged combat, along with dashing and blocking, each with their special abilities(aka, combat arts) which make you look awesome. You can see that there's a wide number of possibilities just by taking a look at the skill trees. There are also four different elements, which adds a significant amount of variety in both the combat and puzzles. Speaking of puzzles, the game's take on it is very unique. They usually involve using your ranged attack to hit walls and switches etc. Some of them are on the complicated side and actually make you think, giving a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction when you solve them.
The platforming and exploration are also big parts of the game. If you're a bit of a completionist, you'll find yourself scouring various areas, searching for items in chests. They can be found somewhat hidden and can be reached by simple platforming or solving puzzles using your abilities. That being said, some backtracking is required if you want to get them all because you get the abilities needed later in the game.

It took me more or less 80 hours to finish the game in its current state, including all the available side quests. And I enjoyed every second of it. You can tell that so much love and effort has went into this game. Sometimes I stayed up until dawn because I wanted to keep on playing. This game is the perfect example of what I'm looking for on Steam.

Do yourself a favor and buy this gem of a game.

I bought this game as a gift to ironically give to one of my friends. He had such an atrocious time that he decided to buy me a copy, along with the OST(Oh boy). Thank you so much.

The loud music caught me off guard. I think it's one of the most horrible sounds I've heard in a while, but I might just be overreacting. You are shown a poor presentation of what seems to be like the Moscow Kremlin. You really aren't told what to do, but it isn't that hard to grasp since it's in the title of the game: you "take taxes" as a half-naked Putin. If you aren't already sold on this game, then I don't know what to tell you. You collect taxes from the law-abiding citizens and take the people who won't give taxes to the slammer. It gets tedious fairly quickly.

But seriously, don't buy this game for yourself. The only reason this exists is to mess with your friends. Frankly, it's pretty much a crime to charge money for some flash game that's less fun than watching paint dry.

10/10 GOTY Would buy again

I came for the memes and got scarred for life

Marriage Simulator 2014
It's free and lots of fun.
Married my mother, multiple animals, and an underage child.
10/10

Torture, instanity, suffering, and fun all at the same time? This game is for you! You're gonna have a lot of fun at the start and a cry towards the end, but it's still very enjoyable and a good time killer. The hard stages are satisfying to complete and are a complete pain if you die. With the new modes, it has more laughs and waaaaay more suffering. If you're into platformers, you should deffo pick this game up. And it's free!

DEFINITELY not your typical third-person shooter. It's some game which can get intense, but can't be taken seriously. I mean.. LOOK AT HELGA! So anyway, the free-to-play concept is amazing.(Take notes, everyone) The standard currency are Blutes, which are used to upgrade your weapons, blah blah blah. The premium currency, on the other hand, is used to buy customization items. Basically, you need to play the game to get better, but you'll need coins to be fancy while doing it. The prices are pretty fair and it doesn't milk money out of you like others. (Looking at you, EA and Activision) But then again, that booty's all you need. OKAY getting out of topic here. So to get Blutes, you just need to play a full game. They give you small bonuses for performance, victory and stuff, but they're really small. Even if you're bad at the game, you'll still get a decent amount of em and everyone wins. The customization has a gigantic variety. You can create countless combinations of weapons which all have their ups and downs. From rifles to rockets, pulses to beams, these bad boys are deadly as no internet connection. Now the gameplay is a hella fun. It'll slowly suck your soul. I've played for about 30 hours the last two weeks, and I'll say that it has been a great 30 hours. Anyway, anyway, there are 2 game types so far. Casual and Ranked. You unlock Ranked at level 10 and Casual is available from the start. There are a lot of gamemodes. For Casual, there are Extraction, Death Snatch, Blitz, Jackhammer, and Domination. Extraction, being my least favorite, is a mode where you bring some kinda chemical, Blutonium, to a machine. Death Snatch is pretty much Kill Confirmed, where you kill someone and take their Blutonium to gain points. Next up, Blitz. I think it's like Control Point, where you stay on a certain point to capture it and gain points. Now Jackhammer is my favorite gamemode. It's like Capture the Flag, but with a twist. You can use the "flag" as a weapon which is a one-hit wonder. And I have yet to try Domination. I haven't reached level 10 yet so I can't really explain the Ranked gamemodes. So if you've reached this point of my review, I salute you. This is my poorly formatted review. Being an indie game, this really shows the potential of what they can do. This is an amazing game which in my opinion, impacts the development of games and hopefully teach game companies a thing or two about these kinda games. Overall, I give this game a whopping 10/10. My favorite game so far. Play it. Love it. Throw your life away.