DMs for ass hair

Bruh i got 15 notifications from dat so shoo go into dms plz das aint a fucking conversation center

OH MY GOD THAT WAS ONE OF THE BEST STORİES İ EVER FUCKİNG READ XD im dying of fucking laughter XD see see i was right from the start ! and where the fuck did you get that from ? 4chan ? reddit ? it sounds like it would come from one of those places give us the sauce man so i can read the original for myself XD

Friends, don't shave your asss-hair.

As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your asss having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my asss at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for asss-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fa-rt, only to have it get stuck between my *********. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fa-rt that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my asss off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering sh-it/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my asss cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shhit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic sh-it- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shhit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two assscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my asss of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My asss was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know.