A steam user going by a name so graphic I am forced to censor it down to Rat♥♥♥♥ says this about the unbelievable crisis before us today: "start a kickstarter to pay the NSA for his personal info"

Jake is a long, hairy creature. Dripping with grease, it has been sighted sitting atop another being who also goes by the name of jake. Unlike this alterier being Jake number let me ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ touch you holds no touch free policy. It mostly plays fatballs manger 2033 but as the fat balls have run dry so has his will to live... on steam. We will strive to call him back from the outside world full of burning bright light and people called jake so we can once again verbally harass Pigflyingpig1. Kick it.

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ATTN: UPDATE ON THE JAKE SITUATION

6 July, 2017 - RAT-FOG | 2 Comments

We have found this alarming evidence of Jake in disguise. At least, I hope this is the case, and not some sort of Jake-Monkey hybrid. If that is the case, we must ensure the eradication of all simian life until we find him, for our Jake must retain purity.

http://pad2.whstatic.com/images/thumb/4/45/MNKY02.JPG/728px-MNKY02.JPG

Be vigilant - and remember: It's dangerous to go alone. Here: Jake Piss.

ATTN: RED ALERT!

6 July, 2017 - RAT-FOG | 3 Comments

WE HAVE FOUND A TRACE OF JAKE

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

http://pad1.whstatic.com/images/thumb/6/60/MNKY01.JPG/728px-MNKY01.JPG

PLEASE REPORT ANY SIGHTING OF THIS CREATURE AT ONCE -- FOR IT IS DANGEROUS TO GO ALONE

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RAT-FOG

29 Sep, 2018 @ 3:25pm

Jake, we're picking up reading of some sort of city, can you confirm ? Jake ? JAKE ??

RAT-FOG

3 Apr, 2018 @ 2:20pm

CONLATURATION !!!

YOU HAVE COMPLETED
THE NEXT VERSION OF ZJAKE,
A GREAT GAME.

AND PROOVED THE JUSTICE
OF OUR CULTURE.

NOW GO AND REST OUR HEROES!

RAT-FOG

3 Apr, 2018 @ 2:19pm

LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE JAKE EVADED YOU AND SENT HIS TWO STONE JAKEGOYLES TO CONFRONT YOU WHEN YOU FINALLY ARRIVED.

THIS TIME YOU CAUGHT HIM OFF GUARD. HE HAS STAYED AT HIS LAIR TO COME UP AGAINST YOU, AND HAS NOW BECOME A FORGOTTEN NIGHTMARE.

NOW THAT YOU HAVE FINALLY AVENGED JAKE, ONWARD YOU MUST GO TO CONGINUE YOUR QUEST FOR THE SOURCE OF THE VOICE.

THE FESTIVAL OF BAKE CONTINUES...

RAT-FOG

3 Apr, 2018 @ 2:15pm

IT SEEMS YOU HAVE BEEN WALKING FOREVER. THE VOICE OF YOUR FORMER MASTER STILL BECKONING YOU. SO MUCH HAS BEEN LOST. NOT YOU KNOW THE REAL PRICE OF SERVING EVIL. SUDDENLY A WAVE OF UNCERTAINTY COMES OVER YOU. IS THERE ANYTHING LEFT WORTH FIGHTING FOR?

YOUR LOVE GONE, YOUR FRIENDS GONE, THE SUBLIME FEELING OF SERVING YOUR DARK MASTER, GONE -- BUT THERE IS SOMETHING LEFT TO SEEK... REVENGE...

BAKE!

RAT-FOG

3 Apr, 2018 @ 1:41pm

YOUR ENCOUNTER WITH JAKE HAS LEFT YOU WONDERING WHETHER OR NOT THAT WAS THE REAL JAKE, AS YOU CAN STILL HEAR HIM IN YOUR MIND. IT DOESN'T SURPRISE YOU THAT IT WASN'T.

STILL FOLLOWING THE VOICE OF YOUR FORMER MASTER, YOU MUST FIND THE GENUINE ARTICLE AND SHUT HIM UP FOR GOOD.

RAT-FOG

21 May, 2017 @ 9:31pm

Jake Wing Bake Squads when???

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