Welcome to The Shrekboro Baptist Chruch

"Now no shrub had yet appeared on the earth and no plant had yet sprung up, for the Lord Shrek had not sent rain on the earth and there was no one to work the ground, but streams came up from the earth and watered the whole surface of the ground. Then the Lord Shrek formed a donkey from the smeg of his seraphic ringstinger and breathed out of his lordly gherkin the breath of life, and the donkey became a living being.

And Shrek saw that it was good.

The Lord Shrek took the donkey and put him in the Holy Swamp to work it and take care of it. And the Lord Shrek commanded the donkey, 'You are free to eat from any tree in the swamp; but you must not eat the forbidden onion from the tree of knowledge for when you eat from it you will certainly be dreck.

Out of all the wild animals the Lord Shrek had created, the dragon was the most crafty. He said to the donkey, 'Did Shrek really say, You must not eat from any tree in the swamp’?

The donkey said to the dragon, 'We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but Shrek did say, ‘You must not eat the onion from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will be dreck.'

'You will not be dreck,' the dragon said to the donkey. 'For Shrek knows that when your ring consumes the forbidden onion your eyes will be opened, and you will be like Shrek.'

When the donkey saw that the onion of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, he took some and ate it.

When the Lord Shrek found out, he was furious. So furious in fact that his swamp-stained stinky pickle was twitching with rage. And he yelled unto the donkey:
'Cursed are you above all animals,
forever shall you be married to the dragon!
With painful labour will you take dragon's ginormous scaly funkmungler
in your tight ring!
And your ring doth sting.'

And with one final roar the Lord Shrek doth yell
'GET OWT O' MY SWAMP'

And the donkey and dragon were banished from the holy swamp for all eternity."

Shrek is love, Shrek is life, Shrek is all.

http://www.shrek.com/
http://www.shrekchan.org/shr/
SBC National Anthem[pastebin.com]