Got Rizz?

🚨 Attention all degenerates, keyboard warriors, and seasoned champions! 🚨

The time has come for THE most prestigious, eyebrow-raising, and borderline TOS-violating competition in Steam history: The Goon Spank Jizz Annual Competition! 🎉

🤔 What is it?
Great question! Even we’re not entirely sure. But one thing's for certain—it's going to be fast, furious, and possibly require a mop.

💥 When?
Mark your calendars, set your reminders, and prepare your body. The madness begins March 14, 2025, at 8:00 PM EST.

🔥 What’s at stake?

Eternal glory
The coveted Golden Spanker Trophy 🏅
A lifetime supply of bragging rights (and shame)
Potentially getting put on a watchlist
👀 How to enter?
Simple! Just show up with quick reflexes, questionable morals, and a deep tolerance for nonsense. No skill required (because let’s be honest, nobody really knows what we’re doing here).

🎭 Dress Code:
Optional, but we highly encourage capes, wrestling masks, or whatever makes you feel powerful yet deeply uncomfortable.

🎙️ Special Guest Appearance:
We may or may not have a surprise appearance from an unhinged uncle, an unpaid intern, or an NPC that refuses to acknowledge reality.

So grab your friends, your worst impulses, and maybe a towel—The Goon Spank Jizz Annual Competition awaits! 🚀

See you there, legends.

🔞 (This event may contain scenes of intense button-mashing, unfiltered chaos, and involuntary wheezing. Viewer discretion is advised.)