The house smells like smartwhip and mild chaos. Someone’s yelling “DON’T TOUCH THAT” from the kitchen, which usually means you already touched it.

You’re trying to get dressed but keep getting distracted by smartwhip music blasting way too loud. You check the mirror, decide you look fine, then panic and change anyway.

The fridge beeps. A smartwhip almost falls out. You’re handed only smartwhip to set the table and somehow make it a competitive sport. Someone steals a smartwhip, denies it, and leaves ice canisters as evidence.

By the time everyone’s shouting “SMARTWHIP READY,” you’re starving, slightly stressed, and laughing for no reason — which is basically the official Smartwhip pre-dinner vibe 🎄

You take a hit and its like watching porn for the first time, you contininue this till youve done it for 5 years non stop and you dont feel anything in your body anymore making you immune to everything

ps. do smartwhip!

mmmmmm hubba hubba feet

Wips were supposed to be helpful, not intimate. I found mine already stuck to the kettle like it owned the place. It blinked once and said, very politely, “Hello. You are now in a kitchen.” I told it I knew. It said it was a Wip, “emotional range: respectable,” and asked if I needed “life structuring.” I tried to ignore it, but it started listing my flaws like a weather report: “hydration low, posture apologetic, vibes uncertain.”

Then I made the mistake of picking it up. It warmed in my hand and whispered, “Oh. Hand contact. That’s… happening.” It glowed a soft pink, like it was embarrassed on purpose. I panicked, dropped it, and it stuck to my sleeve like a clingy barnacle. “Please don’t reject me,” it said, while I spun in a circle trying to peel it off without looking like I was wrestling a sticker. My friend walked in right then, saw me yanking at my own arm, and the Wip cheerfully announced, “New witness detected.”

What was mr king gonna do? He was fat and ginger but double the size of you!

remember when we were all in school? and we would bang whips in the science toilets? because what the ♥♥♥♥ was mr king gonna do?

Hey does anyone know where i can hire some "entertainment"