I can't stop watching this video, and I therefore think you should watch it too. LoL parody:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bD4uiTQsRJg

It's been officially decreed that Dan will forever be player of the week. (forever being contingent upon his awesomeness not being exceeded by someone else, of course)

I was playing Killing Floor the other day. Trying to level up my Commando, and lamenting about how I run out of bullets the instant eight stalkers come trundling up, and reload just as the support blows them all away with both barrels. Finally I lined up my SCAR to decapitate a lone stalker, but paused to question who she was.

Who were these women in restraints in the labs, phasing in and out of existence, bodies coursing in agony. Your mother? Your cousin? Do these abominations have any idea what they're doing? As the scrakes rend flesh, are they also rending sanity from their fragile psyches? Driven to perform these grisly acts, but fully aware?

But when I thought about the Patriarch, I broke. Tears flowing through the cracks in my fingers as I held my head in my hands. My steampunk character rendered immobile and torn to shreds as I sobbed helplessly. A sacrifice to the pain. The Patriarch's curse eclipsed the others and it was more than I could bare.

God, why? Why jorts?