ABOUT Xyxen Stalking Network

"Trying To Figure Out Who The F*ck Xyxen is Since 2011!"

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT XYXEN:

Seizure Man: Xyxen Appreciation Society. I are appreciate.

Aaron: I TOUCH MYSELF TO PIECES OF SOURCE CODE THAT XYXEN HAS WRITTEN.

Chickenmasher: can u code me a pees of softwere that dus mi skool work curectlee? xD

Shadow Chair: RYAN IZ MAI BRUTHR. CHEK OAWT MAH LEHTS PALYS OF MIENCARFT. RAAAAAAAGE IN TF2.

Delicious Cooookie: MMMMmmmm. BROTHER.

Dragon: We should remake the GProject, except with more Xyxen doing work.

DJ Biscuit: When Xyxen graduates, he's gonna come be my roommate down in my server farm. ...I mean, basement.

Wolfman: OH MY GOD, LEAGUE OF LEGENDS MAKES ME HAR- I mean, yeah. Xyxen is a pretty cool guy.

Cheesybacon: I just made a Minecraft pixel art of Xyxen and Pinkie Pie having a sensual moment... I'll be in my bunk.

Wonderbread: I don't wanna go on another ADVENTURE with you, Xyxen.

Dumfawks: I AM A FUCKING IDIOT. PLEASE BAN ME FROM THE TEAMSPEAK SERVER. I'M GONNA CALL AARON AT 4 IN THE MORNING SO HE CAN UNBAN ME.

Seanald: H-hey, Xyxen? Xyxen? Xyyyyxen! Xyxen!! Hey, hey, Xyxen? Xyxen? Xyxen!! SIIIIIIIIIIGH.
/cheesybacon mutes him

Headbanger: I remember that one time Xyxen and I had a chat session on Steam. Then I dropped some acid and I thought I was talking to an igloo in the Sahara.

Nate Wingman: HEY GUYS CHECK OUT THIS CREEPY STALKER PAGE I MADE.

Xyxen: Hahaha! Wow, guys. That's mean.

But seriously, could you delete this page?

HEY KID,[dl.dropbox.com]
I'M A COMPUTER![xyxen.org]
STOP ALL THE DOWNLOADING![xyxen.net]

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POPULAR DISCUSSIONS

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RECENT ANNOUNCEMENTS

STATUS: CONNECTION LOST

9 December, 2012 - Nate Wingman | 0 Comments

root@nathan-pc: sudo run xyxen.sh

Mounting drivers...
GPS connection start...
Satellite connection granted. Starting geodynamic scan...
Scan complete. Accessing FBI DNA Database...
DNA Crosscheck complete. Acquiring Xyxen's loca
CONNECTION HALTED

PACKETS BEING REDIRECTED

...INCOMING TRANSMISSION\\\\
\\
\\\
\\\\
01101000 01110100 01110100 01110000 00111010 00101111 00101111 01100100 01100010 00101110 01110100 01110100 00101111 01010000 00111001 01000110 01010011 00110011 01000111 00111001 01110011
TRANSMISSION END..

root@nathan-pc: sudo rm -rf /

Connection lost.

10 September, 2012 - Nate Wingman | 2 Comments

--- originally posted on Monday, September 10th, 2012

Xyxen's overt amount of politeness caused former Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to shit himself on live television and caused him to step down immediately from office due to not having enough toilet paper in Tehran. As soon as he landed at a nearby Russian medical facility, Mr. Ahmadinejad died a couple of seconds later due to complications from the radiation of the toilet paper.

Due to the public not understanding the basic concepts of democracy, the Iranian people immediately hailed Xyxen as their leader. The public welcomed him with open arms as he caused all of the oppression in their country to come to a halt with a simple "sorry". Xyxen has accepted the presidency, not because he wanted to, but because he was so sorry that he made Mr. Ahmadinajad poop the bed.

"I have no idea what's going on right now," said President Xyxen during a televised meeting with the UN. "I was on the 'pooter playing Sven, when all of a sudden, I ended up on the other side of the planet."

An unexplained disturbance in the fabric of space and time caused Xyxen, who was playing a vidya game on the pooter, to somehow teleport to the exact same location as a major protest and speech session on the Al-Sharqi Madeena square in downtown Tehran. Xyxen landed directly on the podium that Ahmadinejad was making his speech on.

Xyxen then apologized to him, saying "Ohmigoodness, I'm so sorry. I don't even..."

Mr. Ahmadinejad immediately released his bowels onto his nearby bed, and was immediately escorted VIA helivac. Officials followed the poop trail to a Chernobyl-area medical facility, where the former president an hour later immediately died of anal cancer due to exposure to highly ionized radiation on the toilet paper.

Said Xyxen to reporters "Now I'm president of a Persian country with nuclear arms. I don't even." When asked his qualifications to be the leader of 75 million people who follow Islam, he replied "I'm the best at 'pooter. Also, I broke the modern laws of physics. That has to mean something."

President Xyxen is hoping that the space-time rips itself again so that he can head home to Canada. When asked quatum physics Professor Dr. Michael Burnstein at MIT the possibility of this happening, he replied "Holy expletive, I'm surprised he managed to create a hole to the same universe, let alone the same planet. My degree is worthless. I'm gonna quit my job and become a pancake."

Mr. Xyxen apologizes for the pancake.

Source: Associated Press, 2012

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bro 8 Dec, 2012 @ 7:20pm

Thank you for your welcome. I am very glad to be here. In fact, there is no more important place I could be today.

I wanted to take the opportunity to join you because I appreciate the challenges you have faced and the support you have given.

I want to start by making the apology you deserve from BP. We are truly sorry for the tragedy that occurred on April 20. We deeply regret the loss of 11 colleagues’ lives and the impact on the Gulf Coast. And we are sorry for the impact on your businesses.

We still face major challenges and uncertainties but we also have some abiding strengths and I’d like to set those out today as I think they give you the basis to believe in BP. I’ll call them ‘foundations for the future’. In my view there are five – our response to the tragedy; our ongoing relationships; our financial and operational strength; our willingness and readiness to learn and change; and our commitment to America.