Hey folks, first off there's some housekeeping to do and this will be a long post so please bare with me.

First thing's first, I want to send a HUGE shout out to EVERYONE involved in the Charity Streaming Marathon, £1500 reached and still going strong, it truly is the best show of humanity. You can still donate by visiting https://www.justgiving.com/twitchcharity .

Secondly, emotions are running pretty high for me right now so please forgive me if I insult anyone. It is not intentional.

Thirdly, I need each and every one of you to understand that this is NOT a cry for help. This is just an update.

So, what's going on?

Well as I'm sure many of you are aware, I was diagnosed with stage 2 colon cancer mid - late last year and have been receiving treatment for it ever since. Last week however, my latest scans came back clean so I was officially announced as "In Remission". For those unaware, there is no such thing as "All Clear" when it comes to cancer, one of the worst things about the disease. As a result of this ongoing treatment, which has taken over most of my life, I have been unable to work and have been reduced to living off benefits. I'm sure I don't need to tell folks how hard that is to budget for. Thankfully I had generous friends and family and have been able to push through.

However, as a matter of principle, I hate being a "Freeloader" and the Cancer Research Charity Marathon was my way of paying back for all the support I've received so far. The feeling of helplessness however, never truly goes away.

Recently, I learned some surprising details about a few friends of mine which, I will not go into here out of respect for their privacy. But, with my emotions running as high as they are right now, I managed to sabotage my relationships with these people, possibly irrevocably.

The point is, I've had a pretty rough 10 years. Those who know me in person will know the details of the rest but it's too painful to relive right now. After all this time, the bottled up feelings and thoughts, take their toll. As such, over the past couple of weeks, I've become increasingly secluded and withdrawn which has left me feeling even more isolated. So much so that I've lashed out at people i genuinely care about and for that, I'm sorry.

It does not end there however, with this dark cloud hanging over me, my thoughts have become increasingly volatile and a deep feeling of self loathing has started to settle in along with some rather disturbing thoughts about "What if I weren't around?". I need to seek help and I plan to.

As such, to prevent myself from harming others (or myself) I have confined myself to my own life until these issues can be addressed.

Let me re-iterate that this was not triggered by any one thing or person, but rather the culmination of all things, and that this is NOT a plea for help, just an acknowledgment that I need to seek it.

So this means, no more streams for a while as I'll only lash out at people, I don't want to be that guy. Very little if any interaction with my friends / followers. And just generally less of me everywhere.

I love all my friends, my family and especially, my adopted twitch family but I can't do this anymore for a while.

Thank you for reading and I hope I return soon with better news.

PS If you're going through similar things or having similar thoughts, DON'T keep them to yourself. Seek help.

A few friends and I have come up with an idea for a co-op streaming event that we want to do sometime soon. Exact details are still TBD however, what I can tell you is;

Upcoming streaming Marathon ~ 24 Hours,
Will be a charity stream with ALL proceeds going to Cancer Research UK,
Will probably be hosted over the 24 period on multiple channels.

As I'm sure you're aware, Cancer Research UK is a great organisation that has helped me a lot over the past year and I would love to be able to give something back to them. This is my way of attempting to do just that.

If you are a streamer and would like to get involved, please get in touch.

Hey folks,

A few days ago, I informed everyone that my PC had died. Repair costs and replacement parts being what they are, I had no way of testing what the issue was as I didn't have the spares to hand. So I had it taken to my local PC World shop for a proper look at.

After some initial fault searching, it was discovered that the PSU 12V rail had blown while attempting to power everything for GTA 5. Chances are this was going to happen anyway just GTA expedited the death of it. After putting in a replacement PSU, I am now back up and running.

Thankfully it was only the PSU and not a more pricey component. On the topic of price however, the repairs and labour cost were a little high. So much so that I wasn't sure if I'd be able to maintain my online presence as a result with it being this close to the end of the month (bills due).

Amazingly enough, during my short time streaming and being a member of the twitch community, I had made some really awesome friends and upon hearing of my issues (of which there are many), they elected to help keep me around by donating generous amounts via my channel profile. A HUGE Thank You to Amdi, Psy and Kasey for this. I probably wouldn't be around for a while if not for them.

Thanks to their generosity, you won't be rid of me for some time. :P

So, back to streaming we go. Have a great day everyone and thanks for being awesome !!

-Voltoth

#tehPlayerhood
#Team4Fun

I was hoping to have a better idea of a streaming schedule for today however, it seems I won't be streaming at all for a while. My computer decided to die on me and I have no idea what the problem is so I can't just fix it. I have tried all the usual troubleshooting techniques as well as some more unconventional ones, so far nothing has worked.

I will try and get it to a repair shop sometimes next week when I'm back from hospital but I have no idea when I will be able to get back to streaming.

In the meantime though, please check out my twitch teams and give them some love while I'm on forced hiatus.

twitch.tv/team/playerhood
twitch.tv/team/team4fun

I'll keep you all updated as soon as I know more.

-Voltoth

twitch.tv/voltoth is now a proud member of tehPlayerhood twitch team. All of them are excellent streamers that value community in their channels over viewer counts. This is the same thing I am wanting for my own channel.

http://www.twitch.tv/team/playerhood - I'm sure all of them would greatly appreciate you checking them out and showing them some love. The team is founded by twitch.tv/tehMorag who is also a very entertaining and interactive streamer.

Just thought I'd give you guys an update. On another note, I ate far too much tonight lol.

Hope to see you all soon. Thanks for being awesome!!
<3