Three guys find out that they have three weeks left to live.

They realize that they have nothing to show for their lives, so they each decide to try getting into the Guinness Book of World Records.
The first guys says,
"I have pretty long arms, maybe I have the longest arms in the world!"
The second guy says,
"I have a big chest, maybe I have the biggest chest in the world!"
The third guys says,
"I have a small ♥♥♥♥, maybe I have the smallest ♥♥♥♥ in the world!"
So they each submit their applications to the Guinness Book of World Records headquarters. A week later, the book is published, and they all gather around to see the results. The first guy opens the book and says,
"Hey look! I have the longest arms in the world!"
The second guy looks and says,
"Wow! I can't believe I have the biggest chest in the world!"
And the third guys looks and says, "...Who the ♥♥♥♥ is Jackalinester?!"

Shoutout to the milkmen.