My mom beats me.

Every since I was a young child, my mom has beaten me. Now that I am an adult who has a nice paying job my mom beats me even more. When I was at my wedding, my mom beat me. When I was at my first job interview, my mom beat me. When my first child was born, my mom beat me while she held him in her arms. When my dad died, my mom beat me at his funeral. When my mom died, my mom beat me at her funeral. When I died, it was because my mom beat me to death. Even at my funeral, my mom was still beating me.