In Kevin the Female Parasite we trust.

One day, I was just strolling on down the lane when I saw a lone female parasite in a group of rough-looking male parasites. I felt a little worried for the female's safety, but continued walking on and the rest of my day was normal. The following day, I met this same female parasite in another rough group of men and saw them pushing her around. I said to these men, "Hey, lay off. That's no way to treat a woman." For the first time in my life I was mooned by a parasite. Later the next day, around 8:00 P.M, I was sitting on my back porch staring into the sun hoping that I would go blind. The next 10 minutes of my life were something that would scar me forever. The female parasite ran into my backyard screaming, "I NEED YOU ARCHIBALD, DONT HURT ME!" This was just the beginning.

As she said this, an enraged zebracorn came charging through my fence, knocking it down, voilently defecating on the groud in my yard while running in a hexagonal formation. I noticed that his hands were moving unusually slow compared to the rest of his body, but I put it aside and focused on the parasite. She cowered into a corner in my shed and wimpered. I walked into the shed and asked her why she was wimpering. She told me a tale of how the zebracorn that was ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in neat hexagonal patterns was her husband and that they were having an argument about why his favorite lawnchair broke. The parasite, who said her name was Kevin, believes that the breakage of the lawnchair was as a result of Archibald's cousin, Kelvin, the overweight german penguin that dealed crack in the mean streets of Antarctica, sitting on the chair. Archibald loved his cousin Kelvin and refused to believe that he could possibly be at fault. Archibald was so oblivious to his dealings as well, even though Kelvin tried to sell his "product" to Archibald. Yet he STILL doesn't believe him to be a dealer. Just a salesman, he said.
After an hour of Archibald doing his same old same old geometrical sprinting, he stopped. He hadn't even realized that Kevin and I had gone to a store, bought him the exact same lawn chair, and put it in front of his house. The funny thing was, Archibald refused to return to his own house because it brought back 'bad childhood memories' even though he had been there just a couple of hours ago. So we had to cart the chair back from their house and put it in my front yard. Archibald went out front to see this chair and he passed out with sheer joy. When he finally awoke, exactly 102 years 2 days 5 hours 16 minutes and 41 seconds later, he thanked me, and I offered to let the family move in until they could find a stable home to live in. So since 2007, they've been living with me, and we've been living the life. And that's the story of Kevin the Female Parasite, the parasite who lead a rough life at first but then found her feet and has been happily married ever since.

Official Team - peLicaN, Pony, Online, League, Napalm
Subs - justin, Carl, Dallas, SuR5L