NSE PLAYOFFS!!!!!!!!!!!

division 2…

The games the game, and we avoided a matchup against UWE sea stags in div 1.

Expecting the likes of UoN Archers and SuperCali to be in the bracket, the
Wots gamers were gutted to hear that 2 3HenryG STALWARTS in Callum “Callax” Murray and Usaid “all good” Yousaf would not be available, with ‘all good’, the welsh prodigy himself, never to return again after his uni placement banished him to the wastelands of Slough.

It is very likely that ‘all good’, has played his last ever game for this fabled organisation. It is only right then, that we take you back through some of all good’s best moments whilst playing under our banner. Who could forget when in a post match interview way back on a 2020 NSE Sunday, he hit us with this, “'We didn't really care, we just didn't want to play”. Lest we forget, his INFAMOUS match report “The Soton Super Sexy Derby” where he detailed the crushing of the EVIL Team4, cementing our place at the top of the pyramid in SVGE. And perhaps, most famously, when he uncovered, right at the very start of our journey in university counterstrike, the UNFATHOMABLE, AGENDA. This discovery was no doubt comparable to “oppie”’s discovery of the Atomic bomb, and has been cursing us for generations.

“Prometheus stole fire from the gods and gave it to man. For this he was chained to a rock and tortured for eternity.”

After 4 years, we are parting ways with @allgood. We feel deep gratitude to Usaid and time on 3HenryG, from a young talent to mature adult who has helped us achieve our biggest moments: winning the Soton Super Sexy Derby, reaching MANY playoff stages, and becoming perhaps Wales’ greatest ever CSGO player.

Thank you for everything all good.

Moving on Henry Greer was not about to mess about with a potential div 2 championship berth on the line. He told star awp IGL ‘noel’, “Get me the biggest no lifers you can find, if they’ve touched grass in the last month, we don’t want them”.

Noel took this instruction with no question, and immediately knocked on the doors of Callum “homshorks” Turner and Jai “Zelan” with a contract in hand. Both signings were immediately secured with little to no persuasion, this org just has more pull than the 3/10 to me in the club at 4am. The org, much like Mrs Piggy, cannot be resisted.

I won't lie to you readers, the b03 tonight was a bit of a non-event. A task, much like the hungover wank, that's not too pleasurable as it could be, but that you have to just get done.

We were handed a matchup against the UEA Kingfishers. A team we had already dispatched last week 16-5 despite having much lower elo players.

The UEA map pick of Ancient was an interesting one. Since this org has never played it in competitive play. However, as expected we began to roll over the East Anglians after we selected our accustomed T side starts.

New signing homshorks was very keen to statpad, and the lesson had to be dealt out early to the new signing that you get what you get, and you dont get upset, as he had 2 aces stolen from him in the opening rounds. Oh no! Anyway.

The 3HenryG fraggers were getting a little too gratuitous in their approach to the game, with star entry fragger “wndy” charging through his own molotov on a hunt for eco frags. This led to a stern talking to from Star Awp IGL noel, as he let him know that that sort of ego rush would not be tolerated if Henry Greer found out about it.

A 16-5 win was secured. And onto the 3HenryG map pick of Inferno.

A rush B no util got the boys going on T side. Mlto laid down the law on the B site entries for the second week running. Flash after flash permeated the eyeballs of the Kingfishers. After they could see once again, all they could see was Mlto’s fury.

Noel was crutching once again, and he hard entried A site by himself with the combat awp as the boys stormed to an ez T side half win.

A horrendous call on Ct pistol to Furia car with the best spawn led to a pistol defeat, however some cheeky force buys and a crutch or two meant the game was not long for this world, as the boys closed out another 16-5 win.

2-0 for the series, and we take on LAST DANCE in the div 2 semi final next week. We will see you there.

Player of the week: Andy “wndy” Davey. Wow. This man statpadded very well today with his best performance under the 3HenryG banner. A super performance from the young filipino fragger who tore apart the kingfishers with 0 regard for NSE health and safety regulations. Misskatie is sure to be very impressed by this epic performance, let's hope that his actual gf and Ting don't get too jealous of all the attention Mr Davey will no doubt be garnering.