TALLER THAN YOU

Planning to have fun with your imaginary valentine, your dog, or possibly your mother tonight? Spend weekends curled in a ball at your computer desk crying about your crippling loneliness? If you've answered yes to either of these questions, or would answer yes if you could stop wiping your tears, then THE FARQUAAD STAR-SQUAD has a solution to your painful dilema!

Luckily, scientists have developed a cure-all for relationship related ailments, such as: not having one. This solution has been known to help, lonely, single anxiety ridden losers like you. It is called:

Come play a game with Durkluf.

Please.

I'm done crying.