I don't think all achievements work? Or am I crazy.

Add a $1,000 DLC that only contains a badge. Just remembering back in the day when the Nick Beard's would rage over any DLC that they couldn't afford that did absolutely nothing for gameplay.

2 seconds of black screen when I try to launch. Console does nothing, I can see the console opening then 2 second black screen and it crashes again. I've tried deleting files, verifying files, uninstalling and reinstalling the game. There was ONE CHANGE: I activated fullscreen in the game settings (F1) and then upon restarting this started happening. Seems its an issue with the resolution or something that causes it to crash, tried lowest resolution and everything to 1600x900 (which is what I'm using) ...

I've beaten the game multiple times, triggered the Ron Paul event, gone with and without the cheesy puffs, with and without fedora, etc. Still 0 achievements. I uninstalled and reinstalled the game, still nothing. What should I do?

but theres a globalist right behind you