Garry's Mod

Garry's Mod

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A brief guide to: How to deal with snippers.
By Microsoft Word
The general goal of this guide is to inform those who want to live, how to survive lobster attacks and protect themselves from the snippers. This guide also contains steps for attacking back against lobsters.
   
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Chapter 01- What is a snipper?
A snipper is a botched creation by god. It is an underwater machine that will hunt any organism it can decapitate with its two claws and feed into its face (wherever its mouth is located) due to its surival instincts.
It has six to eight legs, meaning it is an insect (If you are not familiar with marine animals, a snipper is an armored spider that can breathe underwater and hurt you).

More (less accurate) details from Wikipedia:

Lobsters comprise a family (Nephropidae, sometimes also Homaridae) of large marine crustaceans.

Lobsters have long bodies with muscular tails, and live in crevices or burrows on the sea floor. Three of their five pairs of legs have claws, including the first pair, which are usually much larger than the others. Highly prized as seafood, lobsters are economically important, and are often one of the most profitable commodities in coastal areas they populate. Commercially important species include two species of Homarus (which looks more like the stereotypical lobster) from the northern Atlantic Ocean, and scampi (which looks more like a shrimp, or a "mini lobster") – the Northern Hemisphere genus Nephrops and the Southern Hemisphere genus Metanephrops. Although several other groups of crustaceans have the word "lobster" in their names, the unqualified term "lobster" generally refers to the clawed lobsters of the family Nephropidae. Clawed lobsters are not closely related to spiny lobsters or slipper lobsters, which have no claws (chelae), or to squat lobsters. The closest living relatives of clawed lobsters are the reef lobsters and the three families of freshwater crayfish.
Chapter 02- How to catch a snipper
Snippers are prone to be caught while feasting upon rotten fish bait, inside a one-way entry box, also called a lobster pot. Patience is key to catch them.
Chapter 03- Identifying the combat techniques of snippers.

Preinstalled weapons


Snippers have one distinct feature that seperates humans from underwater tank spiders; they have two claws with different capabilities. The left claw is a crusher; A claw with the sole purpose of crushing anything it can get a hold onto. The right claw is used for defence and pinching. It has several sharp points in its claw that can pinch and hold, or tear apart ductile material such as flesh and plants. Humans are made of flesh, which means snippers are capable of devouring human kind, thus are an existential threat to the global society.

Adaptation to sophisticated weaponry


Snippers have become self aware thanks to Darwin and his theory of evolution. With an IQ score of 5, humans are able to understand the mechanics of how to open a door. The average lobster has an IQ of 8.5. This means snippers are capable of utilizing advanced combat gear to hurt and kill humans.
Chapter 04- Defeating snippers.
Snippers are usually calm and ready to fight, no matter what the outcome will be, therefore preperation is key for success when catching and cooking. Snippers may have an advantage with the element of surprise, meaning they could pull out a knife or grenade the final moments before death occurs. It is always recommended to have at least two people in the preperation process to handle the situation properly. One person should be assigned to be the designated cook whereas the other is an overwatcher who has the main task of keeping up a staredown with the snipper. (This is why restaurant kitchens are open and operated by multiple chefs.)

If you want to kill a snipper and ensure it stays dead.. forever.. Follow the tips in this video.
Chapter 05- Victory aftermath
Congratulations! You now know how to catch and kill lobsters, before they get to you. To win the approval of society for your actions, please do treat the carcass by culinary creativity. Preparing a garlic lemon butter dip will go well with the lobster.

This is what you should aim to make in the end.
(Don't ask me about any cooking techniques, I would poison everyone who follow my cooking advice to believe I use biochemical weapons.)
10 Comments
dumstoopid 2 Jul, 2022 @ 12:10pm 
Worst guide ever, was able to subdue the little felon and served him up as a celebration feast and found out everyone in my family has a seafood allergy. 0/10
Ralfpac Shakurmacher 29 Apr, 2021 @ 11:52pm 
Lobster killed my family now I ate his thanks for the guide
AEAE 18 Dec, 2017 @ 8:55am 
nice guid
Mutant KidYT 17 Dec, 2017 @ 1:01pm 
i thought it was snipper but the ones with guns,not the animals...lol...
Grêlon 15 Dec, 2017 @ 1:19pm 
999999/10
PortalFan 15 Dec, 2017 @ 9:12am 
6/10 The guide doesn't say what to do in case the Snipper learns how to become a Sniper.
professional larper 15 Dec, 2017 @ 7:30am 
Nice Guide if i find a snipper il take my gun with me
Lag 24 May, 2017 @ 4:24am 
nice guide, definitely recommend
Mel-N-Collie 22 May, 2017 @ 4:39pm 
Instructions unclear, became brony and got my dick snipped. 0/10, reported.
< blank > 20 May, 2017 @ 11:25am 
:jc3_grapple: aI appreciatea yoau :jc3_grapple: