First, make sure you shower daily.

Now, when you in the shower make sure you use soap, I understand it is alot to remember but trust me you will want to use soap.

While in the shower your going to want to bring a hatchet, one can be found at your local hardware store. You will want to make sure it is very sharp.

Now you will want to shower as you would on any normal day, but leave yourself about 5 extra minutes.

Once you are done cleaning yourself you should realise, "Does the world really need any more of me?" and the answer is "No."

Now is where the hatchet comes to play, you will want to in one motion lob off junior. I would recomend Lysergic acid diethylamide for the pain.

Now put your severed sausage into a jar, fill the jar with bleach and junior will be forever clean and happy to be free. You can now sleep at night knowing you did the entire world a favor!