What is a Maggot, you ask? Well, a Maggot is a player playing Soldier of any skill level with the intention to annoy other players. The more creative the Maggot is, the better their grade. I have graded each level of Maggotry (yes, that's totally a word) in order from worst to best So Grade F is the worst and Grade A is the best.
You may be asking; why do I want to be a Maggot? The answer is simple:

Originally posted by Soldier:

"You are all maggots, you scum sucking fruit baskets!"

We'll begin with the worst. A Grade F Maggot is typically just a beginner player; or F2P if you prefer. There's nothing special about this Maggot, they just ponder on as if they have no understanding of the grand scale of elite ware raging on around them. Yes, elite war is EVERYWHERE! Onlt the best Maggots survive, while still obtaining the highest grade, without outranking themselves as a non Maggot. Shockingly, Non-Maggots do exist, and they are mainly not playing as the Soldier.

This type of Maggot will blindly walk into battles and die as quickly as an expertly aimed Direct Hit victim. Not to mention, a Grade F Maggot will not use the weapons available correctly. In fact, it's likely only the stock weapons will be used. No hats will be visible. An exception to this would be a Gibus or Pyrovision Goggles wearer, but these do not really count as 'true cosmetics'.

The given grade is to represent a lack of effort, but do not confuse these Maggots with Non-Maggots. There is no such thing as a Non-Maggot F2P. They are all Maggots in their own right, since they are mainly in the way or lost at every corner, which are the beginning steps to becoming a better Maggot over a large amount of hardcore training.

Overall, earning the Grade of F is to say you are annoying to everyone, with no clear focus. Get your mind set an work the ladder... Maggot!

Once you have put in at least 30 hours playing as the brutish, destruction hungry Soldier, you are ready to reach the grand rank of......... A Grade D Maggot!

This is the only grade you can reach through sheer playtime. 30 hours isn't long, it's hardly an achievement. All it means is; you're as addicted to playing Soldier as a a first time Crusader's Crossbow Medic trying to heal teammates from a distance. Are you happy? You're nowhere near the ultimate rank of Grade A. Read ahead if you think you are still worthy of the ultimate grade!

Additionally, you may encounter Soldiers who are skilled with the Direct Hit. These Soldiers are Grade D Maggots if they use this glorified explosive rifle more than 89% of the time, somehow always landing accurate hits. Alongside this, they may likely play defensively. Take 2Fort for example. Seeing a Direct Hit Soldier wait for his prey to come around a corner of the courtyard is just despicable and as annoying as a goat with a screaming disorder. It's like walking to the shop and walking around the corner to a quad-bike driving on the pavement towards you.... With explosions.


Because of this selfish nature, they will not play the objective. This still counts on the offensive team on Payload. Too many times have I seen a Grade D Soldier when playing on Blu team on Badwater or Borneo. I'd watch them rocket jump (without Gunboats), attempting to flank Snipers, as if they are stating they are the better Sniper on the battlefield. I'll tell you this now; the Direct Hit is not a Sniper Rifle! This is why these Maggots get a Grade D, since they are still annoying in some way, although it is not creative in any way. They are in fact more annoying to teammates!

Often seen as a smarter player, the Grade C Maggot is what you expect from a skilled player. They are pretty much the average player who admires creative violence with a passion to use humour to their advantage. The problem is; what they find funny is most likely only funny to them and their team. Do not think this is a bad thing! In the end, a true Maggot wants to annoy a mixed crowd. Learning to get on the nerves of one side of the battlefield is a great way to learn the boundaries before you end up making the other team ragequit. Remember; use your Maggot like skills wisely. Do not over do them!

Just like a Grade D Maggot, the Grade C Maggot will use rocket jumping to their advantage. However, they will ONLY use the Cow Mangler 5000 on objective based gamemodes like Payload and King Of The Hill. The secondary attack is expected to be overused and treated like the weapon's primary function of attacking. Their eyes will always be locked on the objective while stationary or rocket jumping. They are like a Hulk like hawk. Because of this, they are seen hiding around corners, loading up their Mangler to fire the large blast of energy, setting players on fire and dealing mini crits, possibly killing multiple unweary players at once. As harsh as a homework loving teacher on a Friday, as devestating as a monkey themed pandemic, these Grade C Maggots care little for who they aim their Mangler at.

But wait, these dickish Maggots are also cocky. They believe they can do anything and not be harmed. While this may be the case at times, continuing the same flanks and ideas over and over again is literally as predictable as a Far Cry 3 fan's favourite quote from that game. This is the downfall of a Grade C Maggot, and they often resort back to their decorated Rocket Launcher or Shotgun after a while to eventually use their wit and learn better ways to disrupt enemy frontlines.

2Fort; a sanctuary of sorts for Snipers. Snipers love 2Fort a lot for it's easily accessible sniper deck and basic fort-based map design. Then again, so do Soldiers. Grade B Maggots especially. 2Fort is a great map for expert rocket jumping from one fort to the other. Alongside this, while all rockets in the chamber may be used, this Maggot is armed with the Market Gardener to purposely annoy these Snipers. This annoying tactic is terrifying for enemy Snipers, since the attack is random and quickly executed. Using multiple rockets to traverse the map quickly is effective, but adds emphasis to the Market Gardener, making it necessary to use when the Gunboats are taking up the secondary weapon slot. These Maggots target Snipers specifically, while the Grade C Maggot can effectively target anyone with their favourite Payload and KoTH maps.

However, as dastardly as it may be, this Maggot pretends to work with the team. To make the enemy Snipers twice as paranoid, this Maggot will amke sure their assault on them is completely random. In the meantime, they will perform specific voice commands to confuse the friendly team they are actually a part of. Cleverly, this increases the paranoia of the friendly team as well. This is accomplished excellently by running by friendly Engineers and Pyros and shouting "SPY!", while pretending to Spy check every once in a while. To add insult to injury, this Maggot will then laugh at the paranoid players (using the Schadenfreude taunt) and use jeers to lower the morale of individual team members over time.

In addition, I have some highly researched facts about Grade B Maggots.

• 76% use Decorated Weapons above the price of 2.33 Ref
  
• They do not blink
  
• They make enemies quicker than a W+M1 Pyro
  
• Their favourite film director is Michael Bay

Overall, the Maggots stay on 2Fort, sometimes hopping over to Badwater or Turbine to perform similar rituals. They are annoying to almost everyone, but aren't the best of Maggots.

As expected, the best Maggot should be talented enough to annoy almost everyone. The Grade A Maggot uses the skills from the other Maggots of different grades effectively. Then again, none of them use the Beggar's Bazooka do they?

This top Maggot is destined to perfect the arts of using this iconic weapon from the depths of hell. Overload jumping is crucial to being especially annoying to the enemy team. Doing so on Badwater, for example, can distract the enemy team and give this Maggot the advantage over them while they face away from this Maggot's dangerously patriotic aim. On the other hand, using the Mantreads may be tricky, but a Grade A Maggot somehow knows how to use them in almost every case. They are also likely to have Professional Killstreak Mantreads simply because they are basically a shiny cosmetic which allow the eyes to glow without having a Professional Killstreak Primary Weapon, since they are also cheaper than other weapons witht he same quality.

In addition, building up their killstreak is important for becoming the ultimate tryhard, futhermore destroying all hopes of friendship with other teammates for taking their kills then simply launching away like the tablet player blocking the path of the player playing as Mario in New Super Mario Bros. U.

Just to add to the fact these Maggots are the ultimate Maggots, they will have an odd lookng painted, Unnusual hat. This is to let everyone know who they are, making them look as visible as possible from all distances. Afterall, people need to recognise the person they envy!

Finally, their last act of annoyance is to play a CTF map and purposely capture the last intel the team needs but then get so close to the capture zone to only start a dance party instead. The Conga is reported to be the most common dance performed by the Grade A Maggot, since it denotes a lot of positivity... For the Maggot himself. While others may join in, it is always short lived and this Maggot is almost always kicked for making the joke last too long, or previously annoying the team to their limits anyway.

As stated earlier, this Maggot uses tactics other lower grade Maggots use. Because of this, this Maggot is the most feared, but also most easily kicked for being called a hacker by younger players. Basically, attention is their priority.