Garry's Mod

Garry's Mod

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Preventing a Sea Bear Attack
By work victim
A Sea Bear is a vicious creature that attacks under-sea campers. If you want to avert such an attack, this guide is for you!
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What is a Sea Bear?
A Sea Bear has the body of a Piranha, with clawed fins. It has the head and upper body of a bear. It is a fearsome sight to behold.

What can attract a Sea Bear?
Most times of the year, Sea Bears are relatively docile and won't come out of their habitats. But due to global warming , Sea Bears have begun to roam more often.

During the period of time where they are out and about, Sea Bears can easily be antagonized by many things. Some of the common ones are listed below.

Waving a flashlight back and forth really fast
Running
Limping
Crawling
Wearing a Sombrero in a goofy fashion
Playing a Clarinet badly
Typing Like This With The First Letter Of Every Word Capitalized

Several factors are known to 100% attract a Sea Bear.

Cubed Cheese
Screeching like a Chimpanzee (most 12 year olds with microphones can simulate this quite well)
Wearing a Hoop Skirt
Defense Against a Sea Bear
Sea Bears are fearsome. But Hitler was also fearsome, and eventually he was defeated. Hence, sea bears should also be defeatable.

The most popular methods used by experts to fend themselves against Sea Bears is the Anti Sea Bear Safety-Circle.
This involves carving an absolutely perfect circle in the ground and standing in the middle of the circle.


IMPORTANT
An oval will not work
It has to be a perfect circle. An oval will in fact serve to antagonize the Sea Bear further and this can result in dire consequences.

A simpler, albeit riskier method of avoiding contact is by WALKING CALMLY away. Running, Limping or Crawling will not suffice, as aforementioned, it would only anger the Sea Bear more.

A passive method is for the Sea Bear to not dislike you. This decreases the probability of a Sea Bear singling you out for attack.
Conclusion
I believe in there being a reason for my existence. When I suffered terrible injuries from a Sea Bear attack, I swore that no one else should have to feel the same pain that I did. This had hence led me to write this Survival Manual. I would like to acknowledge some advice given to me from several very important individuals.

James Wright - First man to discover a Sea Bear
NatJosh - Founder of the Safety Circle
Lucas Giles - First man to be killed in a Sea Bear related incident
Kyak Salik - First woman to be killed in a Sea Bear related incident
Kieren _____ - My faithful companion during the expedition that resulted in my injury
Robert Karstark - Kieran's secretary that helped to plan the expedition
Matt of East Australia - the man who saved me from a horrid fiery death



With my acknowledgements given, I proudly wish that what I have said will prove useful to you, dear reader, at some point in your life.
374 Comments
Docshadowgaming 25 Dec, 2022 @ 12:14pm 
A Sea Bear almost killed me, but when I remembered the instructions in this guide, I was able to effectively defend myself. THE ANTI-SEA BEAR CIRCLE WORKS EVERY TIME!! Always make sure to bring a stick when hiking in Sea Bear risk areas!
Stuffstealer 15 Oct, 2022 @ 8:02am 
10/10 would guide again
kenny🌴 9 Jul, 2022 @ 10:55pm 
THIS SAVED ME FROM A SEABEAR ATTACK!!!! I cannot stress enough how important it is to study this guide!!!!
potatoisland 1 Oct, 2021 @ 5:01pm 
is rectangular prismed cheese fine?
potatoisland 1 Oct, 2021 @ 5:00pm 
I love how this is the top guide for several years
Red 28 Aug, 2020 @ 3:47pm 
This is my favorite guide of all time.
The Milkman 30 Jun, 2020 @ 9:38pm 
"Cubed, sliced is fine"
len 17 Apr, 2020 @ 7:22am 
sea bar is hot
owen 21 Dec, 2019 @ 10:21am 
dude my family died but new one hasnt died yes thx :D
honeydew 26 May, 2018 @ 11:01am 
yes