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The Ultimate Lobby Ready Up Simulator 2016 Dead By Daylight MLG 360 Game Manual – Become a master!

Hi guys. This is Jilly. Who the ♥♥♥♥ is Jilly? DO YOU SERIOUSLY NOT KNOW MY NAME?! I WROTE TWO AWESOME 1080P 60 FPS GUIDES ABOUT HOW TO BECOME SUCCESSFUL PLAYER AND HOW TO ASCEND TO GOD! I’M MORE FAMOUS THAN YOUR MOM! IF YOU DIDNT READ THESE GUIDES GO READ THEM NOW AND MAKE SURE TO RATE THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE THE GREATEST SUCCESS IN MY LIFE!

So today, we are going to do some epic Being Dwight makes things right guide/game manual. It’s going to be dwightblowing mindblowing. Now, a lot of people would probably love a sequel to my two previous guides, but in the age of remasters and remakes, I’ll remaster the two of my guides and make a huge remake (this time with pics of ur mom xDDDDDD just kidding man please don’t kill me).

Let’s begin.

1.) Warning for kids
2.) Minimum requirements
3.) Controls
4.) Main plot of the game
5.) Starring
6.) Perks
7.) Top Secret Information for Readers
8.) Strategies
9.) Endings
10.) Abbreviations
11.) Sample text
12.) Credits
13.) Special Thanks

• A device that can be instructed to carry out an arbitrary set of arithmetic or logical operations automatically….. or you can just call it computer
  
• A 4K monitor with 1ms delay for maximum immersion
  
• Your mom – someone has to make u food when ur owning them kids m8
  
• Most important thing is Windows 8 – the best system ever created
  
• Also make sure to tell all your friends to ♥♥♥♥ off for the weekend so they don't bother you when playing.

Buttons you need:

• WASD – Worry About Scrubby Dwight. Legends say it’s a warning from heaven.
  
• Shift – Would you believe that some people put stones on this button so that they don’t have to hold it themselves to do every and any action in the game?
  
• Spacebar – Absolutely necessary thing to wake up your household by mashing it repeatedly when you’re struggling on the hook. Make your mom yell at you to turn off the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ PC at 2 AM. And just as you’re about to be saved, the God just pisses on your keyboard and makes the Spacebar stop working so you get penetrated and your teammate slaughtered.
  
• Alt and F4 – Someone interrupted you in closet? That’s OK. You got these two buttons. Rumours are that if these two buttons are rif the right moment, you can actually freeze the Killer. How cool is that?

• E and Q – These two buttons allow you to replicate the feeling you got when when you were 11 and your mother asked you what you want for rif and in the end completely ignored your choice and cooked some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. You can show the Killer a direction of which hook you like the most, but after few seconds, the selfish prick is going to choose Hook by himself anyway and you can’t do anything about his Grasp which is as strong as an Iron. It’s better to just pull out your phone and go on 9Gag.
  
• Left Mouse Click – In this guide, you’ll learn how to play like true Dwight. Now I don’t want to spoil anything but things like unhooking people, repairing generator, opening escape door, you don’t need that ♥♥♥♥. But… Bring a friend with you because someone’s gotta do the job when you’re chilling in the closet.
  
• Esc – This button is there for people who can’t escape the Killer properly and have to use specific button for it. You’re not that kind of Dwight.

It’s year 1899, the age full of development and technology, when recently invented Flashlight only lasts about 10 seconds, generators break on daily basis, medkits come with 1 feet long bandages and people don’t have enough money to buy furniture for their basements. Engage in groundbreaking story about main character – Dwight – trying to join a match with his two dependable friends – Meg and Jake, failing, spending 5 minutes to rif match, getting booted because the Killer feels like they’re not on his level, spending another 5 minutes to rif match and finally quitting the match because the Killer is downloading porn and it’s causing everyone to teleport around like Nurse prototype.
Experience love, suspension, immersion, hiding in the closet, leaving your friends to die because you can’t be bothered to come out of that closet, waiting for everyone to die so you could get access to magical black hole that looks like rounded vagina hatch, getting hate messages from your friends because you left them to die, losing your friends and finally, slitting your wrists in a bathtub because you somehow didn’t get a pip even though you escaped.
Put an end to the war between Catvivors and Doglers once and for all, or get forever lost in it's endless circle.

Dwight
The main hero of the series. Dwight is a typical nerdy guy and the original reason why nerds never get laid. In the past, Dwight’s name was Jolly Mangina, it was a typical kid playing CraftMine – an alpha version of today’s Minecraft. Because of his selfish personality, he had no friends, but he was pretty happy about himself. One day when Dwight was 9, his dad came to him and asked him „Do you know, my son, how I met your mother?“ „….“ „I didn’t, you’re adopted, haha!“. Rumours are that this caused Dwight so huge mental damage that he now only plays in red closets. Literally.
Favourite color: Red
Favourite item: Closet
Favourite action: Getting his entire team killed
You can often see this character: Hiding in the closet, causing noise bubbles by holding Shift the entire game, leading Killer to his teammates to assure his survival

Meg
An athlete runner with the potential of being Final Girl until she gets slaughtered while trying to juke the Nurse over one single pellet. Meg used to be very fast Sprint Burst abuser runner until her old coach Mr. Original got replaced by Mr. Nerf, who changed her schedule so that she’s now only capable of running fast once in 40 seconds. She will help Dwight on his quest to defeat the main antagoinist Trapper Entity by staring at him for 2 minutes when he’s hooked before finally running to the escape gate. Thanks Meg.
Favourite color: Blue
Favourite item: Flashlight
Favourite action: Staring deep into your soul when you’re hooked, healing herself, failing skillcheck to heal herself, failing skillcheck to heal others
You can often see this character: When you’re about to die

Jake
Dwight’s biggest rival as the two of them compete about which one of the two is more useless in the game. Jake is the type of kid that took pleasure in bullying little kids by destroying their sand castles after they spent 3 hours building them. This pleasure is now his hobby as he continues to ruin Killer’s life by destroying their hooks, again and again. Just like Claudette, you usually only see him before the match starts, because he never gets too close to generators. And if you happen to see him there, all the effort you put into fixing generators will be for nothing because he ♥♥♥♥♥ up all the skill checks and ends up getting you killed.
Favourite color: Brown
Favourite item: Toolbox
Favourite action: Destroying Killer’s life by sabotaging his hooks & traps
You can often see this character: Whenever you’re not doing generators what you’re supposed to do

Claudette
This character was originally supposed to be male, but because black people die early in horror movies and people would scream racism, developers changed her to woman so that people can scream racism and feminism at once . You will never find this character in game, because she’s so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ small and black, you’ll have hard time seeing her in the dark. She is the main healer of the Survivors, usually messing up one healing skill check on you when she hears a single heartbeat, causing the Killer to finish you off as she runs away.
Favourite color: Black
Favourite item: Grass
Favourite action: Pretending to be Snake the stealthiest from Metal Gear Solid
You can often see this character: You can’t, unless it’s the brightest moonlight

Nea
Irrelevant character with irrelevant Perks created to make irrelevant mechanic relevant. This character represents homeless’ man life in every single way. Suffer with Nea as she never gets on the hook herself and has to witness her teammates’ deaths and pretend like she cares. Funny thing is, you never actually see her get hooked. Nea is Killer’s secret accomplice confirmed. Her picture is bigger because I was too lazy to make it smaller in photo editor she's naturally beautiful.
Favourite color: Unknown
Favourite item: Unknown
Favourite action: Being useless
You can often see this character: Trying to make her perks relevant by constantly walking while crouched using her Perk for faster crouched movement and racing with other crouched Survivors, parkouring from high heights

Steam ftw 10/10 from chicken nugget IGN for putting letters limit on my guide anyways lets continue

Trapper
A guy with a mask which will make you hate huntsmen for not killing more bears so that bear traps are no longer legal. This Killer has the skill to intimidate you into running straight into his bear traps because he walks like your angry mother when you’ve broken her favourite vase. He enjoys giving you false hope by missing all his hits for two minutes when chasing you until he finally gets you step into that bear trap of his that was smartly placed behind a window. And if that isn’t enough, he will also place a bear trap right under you when you’re hooked and carefully hookcamp patrol the hook until your idiotic teammate decides to professionally unhook you without caring about the trap just so you can get trapped in the bear trapped again, killed even faster and your teammate used as another bait – because taking a moment to disarm a trap is for scrubs.
Favourite color: Unknown
Favourite item: Bear Traps
Favourite action: Placing Bear Traps behind all the windows using Honing Stone addon to insta down Survivors when they get caught and pretending to be skilled Hunter-Killer when they get trapped
You can often see this character: Placing Bear Trap below hooked survivor and then hookcamping patrolling the hook

Hillbilly
This Killer used to play with Chainsaw and pigs until his dad smacked his face so hard, he looks like a deformed ♥♥♥♥. Whenever you hear him reving his chainsaw, you might aswell just stop running because his chainsaw apparently has Boomerang attachment that apparently allows him to throw it through the window that you’ve just vaulted through, cripple you and immediately get his toy back. And if that isn’t enough, there are reports that he likes to gives his victims false hope by missing them by an inch right before he does 180 turn and penetrates their anus.
Favourite color: Unknown
Favourite item: SawToy 3000
Favourite action: Chainsawing people through windows
You can often see this character: Chainsawing people through dem windows

Wraith
This boring Killer has the ability of going invisible and giving you headboost whenever you’re running away. There is nothing special to him except maybe his interesting walking animation which cannot be described by words. Other than that, he is mainly used as farming tool for Bloodpoints because he as the only Killer can play monotone lullaby with his huge bell. What, you can’t see the bell? LOL get your eyes checked, it’s right there. Nowadays, this Killer thank God doesn’t appear too much. Rumours are that this is because he sucks is somewhat weaker than other Killers.
Favourite color: Transparent
Favourite item: Bell
Favourite action: Ringing the bell
You can often see this character: Trying (and failing) to kill someone

Nurse
The newest addition to the Killer’s team, she came all the way from Silent Hill just to take part in this. She upgraded her arsenal and now she is capable of blinking to you when you’re standing on the other side of the pallet, T-bagging her, and then she smacks your little butt and as you try to slide over the pallet she instantly grabs you without cooldowns because she’s apparently too cool for cooldowns. She does have a weakness however, and that is not being able to get over the fact that she’s not walking. She doesn’t notice this often, but usually when she is about to hit you with her saw after she blinks, she notices that she’s actually in the air and then she stares into the ground for couple of seconds trying to find her legs. Just like Nea, Nurse deserves her picture to be bigger than the others because I was once again lazy to make the picture smaller xD such important guest from Silent Hill deserves big attention.
Favourite color: White
Favourite item: Saw
Favourite action: Staring into the ground trying to find her legs
You can often see this character: Getting juked and failing to hit the character for 3 minutes before finally killing him, defending herself in postgame chat from the now dead person calling her OP because she killed him after 3 minutes of juking.

Entity
no pic for entity :(
Legends say that this is the entrance to Wet Dimension. Legends are full of ♥♥♥♥ in this case. Entity is infact weird and misunderstood being which after impaling the Survivors repeatedly with it’s spider like Whatever-The-♥♥♥♥-Is-It thing makes them go through all of it again causing the game to be such a grindfest for Perks and Levels that it is today.

As a proper game manual/guide, you should be introduced to all the Perks and their effects in this section. And because this isn’t a proper game manual, it’s getting too long and I’m too lazy, I’ll only put the most used Perks here.

Survivors – Perks censored from Killers because the Killers already know them developers wanted it this way, my friends:

• Saboteur – Now let’s be honest here, you saw this one coming from the moment you read that Perks will be explained in this guide. It’s great for ruining Killer’s life and for getting Points without having to help your teammates actually do something useful.
  
• Self Care – This perk is musthave for all wannabe badass prophets in the game who have the need to demonstrate their dominance in juking skills by T bagging killer everytime they vault over window or pallet. You don’t have to worry about getting hit anymore, just self heal and T-bag, exactly in that order.
  
• Saboteur – Are you using the Saboteur yet?
  
• Sprint Burst – Messing up Skill Checks on generators is a viable way to get rid of your teammates and escape through the Hatch like a true hero, but with this Perk, your risk goes down to zero because you can run faster than your fellow survivor and when he gets caught and blames you in postgame chat, you can just say: „lol scrub u were too slow xD“.
  
• Saboteur – I’m sorry, I don’t see this in your Perks list. Can you please put it there?
  
• Kindred – Use this so that you when you’re hooked, you can let your teammate on the other side of the map sabotaging a hook know that your other teammate is working on a generator few meters away from him.
  
• Saboteur – That’s not a question, son, THAT’S A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ORDER!

Killers – Perks censored from Survivors because same reason as above:

• Iron Grasp – Before you hook the Survivor, it’s good to show them around the map a little, just so they know how it looks for the next time.
  
• Spies from the Shadow – Overrated Useful Perk that triggers whenever someone disturbs crows from doing absolutely nothing. The Perk triggers in all the cases 75% of the cases whenever either Survivor or Killer disturbs the crows. Oh, I’m sorry, did I say that Killer triggers it too? Yes, I did. Because it’s ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ true.
  
• Everyone No One Escapes Death – Wait, is this even a Perk? It happens so much, I thought it’s a game feature by now, anyways this perk which allows you to slaughter these cocky arrogant little ♥♥♥♥♥ that call themselves Survivors because they were hiding all the time. If you can find them that is…. I’m not saying that they suspect you using this Perk, I’m saying they know you’re using this Perk.
  
• Insidious – Great for camping patrolling anything ranging from generators over hooks to basements without having to move as much.

Apprecitiate the true epicness of my previous guides?
https://steamproxy.net/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=746495376 https://steamproxy.net/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=751304653
Three and four stars, I mean look at that, I should make a career based on writing Pro guides about how to become a master. Even though the second guide was fail a bit worse than the first one, I believe that with your help guys, I will be able to reach 5 stars on my guide which will boost my confidence high enough to try my chances with my crush and finally get laid? Come on guys. We’re bros. Let’s unite. Right, enough with my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, let’s carry on.

Now I’m gonna describe few of the most used strategies in the game and you’re gonna read it, mkay?

Strategy I – Man’s best friend AKA Being Dwight
Effective againist: Everyone…. On your team.
How to use: Pick Meg or Dwight, stay hidden or wait in the closet until you notice chase happening, then locate the chase and procceed to bodyblock your teammate. Don’t forget to mention you were just trying to help and that people are ungrateful ♥♥♥♥♥ in the postgame chat when he starts dissing you.

Strategy II – The one and only goal
Effective againist: All the killers…. Well, as long as you don’t get killed.
How to use: Do nothing but generators in the game, simple. Escape as the first one through the gates without waiting for anyone else and then spam the postgame chat with „GG“.

Strategy III – The Great Escape
Effective againist: Ranking up
How to use: Take whoever the ♥♥♥♥ you want and when get spotted within the first 30 seconds of the game, then Alt F4 from the game.

Strategy IV – A good guy
Effective againist: All the Killers
How to use: Be nice guy, repair generators, help people and get killed for them and then realize that with random people, this happens so rarely that it’s pointless

Strategy I – Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Effective againist: It’s going to surprise you, but it’s effective againist Survivors
How to use: Pick Hillbilly, find kids, rev up chainsaw, miss with the chainsaw because you’re a scrub the victim just totally lagged and you missed, try again, LOL you missed again? the victim keeps ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ lagging, decide to chase them all down with hammer instead, hook them and chainsaw them on the hook because you can’t miss there they can’t lag away there.

Strategy II – Claptrap
Effective againist: 90% Survivors that just can’t be bothered to disarm your traps before unhooking despite you being on the other side of the map
How to use: Take Trapper w/ Honing Stone, find one kid, demolish him and hook him, place trap under him, watch the others getting trapped themselves or getting him killed more quickly, repeat with the rest of the team until you wreck them all (maybe except for that one Dwight camping the hook).

Strategy III – Outpowered or Overpowered
Effective againist: Survivors and yourself
How to use: Take Nurse, blink around like a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ you are, try to actually kill someone and fail, listen in postgame chat how you suck and can’t play, get mad, in the next match ground everyone, listen in postgame chat how OP you are, get depressed because you don’t know if you suck rif you’re OP, make topic on Forums to ask people if Nurse is OP.

Strategy IV – Sabotage as Killer
Effective againist: Yourself and Ranking up and making Bloodpoints and basically againist anything positive you may get.
How to use: Just take Wraith, easy.

Everyone survives and you don’t kill anyone, causing the Survivors to come back and be annoying inb4 infinite abuser nubs they are. If this happens, you failed in your life and should not even bother to continue, hang yourself and pick Dwight in your next life.

Two down, two alive, in postgame chat half of the people say you suck and the other half says GG, you still failed but you get another chance for trying.

Everyone died, you get blamed for hookcamping in postgame chat as you get into 10 minutes argument with them where you take 2 minutes to write some long novel about why what you did wasn’t hookcamping only to find out they already left the chat.

This ending occurs when you not only absolutely deconstruct people with your mad skillz, you wreck them to the point where 10 minutes after the match you find topic about yourself in Community Hub saying how your character is OP, how you hookcamped, how this and that needs to be nerfed etc. Very satisfying.

This happens when in middle of the match when you’re wrecking people, the game crashes and after booting it up again, you find out that you lost three of your Pips. Top of that, you get invited into “Killer Leavers Noob Group” Steam group. You can then have little DBD Private match againist your keyboard to see how long it survives.

Just take Wraith and you’re guaranteed to get it

Sorry guys, I would write out Endings for Survivors too but because developers are “on Killer’s side”, I need to be aswell. ♥♥♥♥ Survivors, too OP.

Hookcamping
A very controversial topic in which the Killer stands infront of the hooked person and smacks his ass several times to show him a dominance is patrolling around the hook to make sure his pray doesn’t escape and the Survivors are just dumb enough to try and go for save even though it’s obviously gonna fail. And if they manage to pull it off, either someone else ends up on the hook, or the saved person runs around like a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ and doesn’t let anybody heal him, resulting in getting wrecked again and then calling people idiots for not healing him and Killer for hookcamping because he stay’d next to the hook with the Survivor because both exit gates were open and all Survivors except for one escaped. It’s totally not obvious that the last Survivor is going to go for save LOL he’s definitely searching chest in the basement, the Killer should go check it. As Dwight, you don’t need to worry about this – in these 90% matches that you get caught, nobody’s gonna save your ass anyway.

Teammates
Special term for people who are supposed to help you and somehow they don’t. Whenever you’re on the hook with the Killer on the other side of the map, they run towards you only to start working on the generator next to you. When they are on the hook and you hide close and plan on how to save, they either ALT F4 or attempt to escape the hook by themselves and end up dying immediately.

Hacks
Advanced term that Survivors or Killers use for the opposing party whenever the opposing Party is too good for them or they make some stupid beginner mistake and they get wrecked in seconds.

OP
Stands for Overpowered, Survivors or Killers use this for certain abillites of the opposing party whenever these specific abilities happen to wreck them.

Master
Advanced term that people secretly use in their minds for the author of this guide without him knowing it but he’d definitely love to know it. :D

i is here hooman


u make sure i get 5 stars pls pls


and i be very happy

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