I didn't actually think I'd ever make another one of these but alright, whatever, fu‎c‎k it. Today we're going to be looking over my most hated faction, the Rhodoks. Oh, but why do you hate them? Why are they so bad? Well that's the go‎dda‎mn problem. They're not bad. They're not bad at all. In fact, they have no f‎u‎‎c‎k‎i‎n‎g flaws whatsoever. They can do everything, and they can do it better than any other faction. "Well, how? I wanna know how to play them!"

First off, f‎u‎ck you, you piece of sh‎it.
Second off, I'm about to explain how.

The troop upgrade tree scales in levels of (EXTREMELY FAIR AND BALANCED) b‎ulls‎hi‎t, with the bu‎lls‎h‎i‎t-o-meter going OFF the gosh dang hinges at about level four.

1: Rhodok Tribesman
2: Rhodok Spearman | Rhodok Crossbowman
3: Rhodok Trained Spearman | Rhodok Trained Crossbowman
4: Rhodok Veteran Spearman | Rhodok Veteran Crossbowman
5: Rhodok Sergeant | Rhodok Sharpshooter

The upgrade tree is (EXTREMELY FAIR AND BALANCED) very simplistic and doesn't offer anything in variation, you either pick a melee sh‎i‎tstain that will roll through the enemy, or a melee sh‎i‎tstain that will roll through the enemy but also shoot them til they're so dead they can't live anymore.
No, you didn't read that wrong. They are both excellent in melee.

The first troop is the tribesman, in my opinion the strongest basic recruit in the game because of the fact they often spawn with (EXTREMELY FAIR AND BALANCED) board shields. 1 ironflesh and no power strike, but then, they're recruits. This should not surprise you.

Second in melee is the Spearman, sometimes they'll spawn with the (EXTREMELY FAIR AND BALANCED) board shield like the tribesman above, but their weapons and armor are a bit better and they have 2 ironflesh/powerstrike. This is a really great troop if you need to just beef up a city garrison, they're cheap and fast to raise but very good for the quality because the Rhodoks are (EXTREMELY FAIR AND BALANCED) absolute f‎u‎c‎‎‎‎k‎in‎g hor‎sesh‎i‎‎t.

Third is the Trained Spearman, although they do come with a guaranteed (EXTREMELY FAIR AND BALANCED) board shield, they are hilariously actually much worse than the Spearman because they don't come with a short ranged melee weapon, meaning if you just literally walk up to them they can't do sh‎it to you. Nice one.

Four is the Veteran Spearman. This is where things start getting great for you, and horrible for everyone else who has a shred of dignity and doesn't resort to using the Rhodoks, you f‎‎u‎‎‎c‎‎k. They don't come with a shield, but they don't need one. Yeah, you heard me, they don't f‎‎u‎‎ck‎‎‎in‎‎g need one. They. Don't. Need. A. God. Da‎mn. Shield. Why? Their armor is good, their health is good, and they'll just kill you and your family before you even shoot them anyways. 5 ironflesh, 4 powerstrike, always spawn with either a glaive or a pike. Cuts through cavalry like a rusty knife through your gums.

Last in melee is the Rhodok Sergeant. These guys. These f‎‎uc‎‎ki‎‎ng guys. Their helms, their heraldic mail, their board shields, their SIX ironflesh, their tendency to spawn with blunt weapons (that WILL rip through your expensive armor like it was leather), their FIVE in athletics (meaning you cannot escape them in a siege), makes these m‎‎oth‎‎erf‎‎u‎‎ck‎‎ers the terminators of Mount and Blade. They will chase you down. They will take a hundred arrows to the face. They will find you, and they will ‎‎f‎‎u‎‎cki‎‎ng kill you.

Second in the archery tier is the Crossbowman, which keeps in line with the trend of the second Rhodok tier being way too powerful for its cost. But why? Well, they often spawn with the (EXTREMELY FAIR AND BALANCED) board shield, falchions, spiked staves (which are blunt, and f‎u‎ck armor), and of course pack a crossbow. I would hope you kinda already figured that. Possibly the best unit in the game to just spam for a garrison.

Third is the Trained Crossbowman. Not really much to say. They always spawn with the (EXTREMELY FAIR AND BALANCED) board shield, and the stats are direct upgrades. Not sure its worth the cost if you just want a beefed up garrison, though.

Fourth is the Veteran Crossbowman, and they are the most b‎ull‎s‎h‎‎it fourth tier archer in the game. It is not uncommon to see the (EXTREMELY FAIR AND BALANCED) Veteran take out your max-tier troops with one shot, and unless you're using an equal infantry tier or higher, they will also kick your ‎a‎s‎‎s in melee, thanks to the 3 in power strike, (EXTREMELY FAIR AND BALANCED) board shield, and good melee weaponry.

Last is the Sharpshooter. This unit is, bar none, the biggest h‎orse‎s‎h‎i‎t in the whole game. The biggest, smelliest, stinkiest of all horse s‎‎h‎i‎‎ts. 140 in Crossbow, meaning they're very accurate, steel bolts, siege crossbows, (EXTREMELY FAIR AND BALANCED) board shields, military picks and hammers, a f‎‎‎u‎‎c‎‎‎‎ki‎‎‎ng FOUR in iron strike and a whopping 55 hp means that even if you do close them in melee, they will STILL f‎‎u‎‎c‎‎k your day up unless you're using Huscarls. If a castle or town has more than 20 of these guys, rethink your decision. Yes, 20 sharpshooters are enough to entirely turn the tide of a siege, that is how disgusting they are. Their siege crossbows allow them to kill any unit in the game in one or two shots.

No, I didn't miss an "s". There is one tactic, and only one tactic. You put your infantry in front of your crossbowmen, and then you win the game. That's all there is to it. You could maybe do some other s‎‎‎h‎‎‎i‎‎‎t, but don't do other s‎‎h‎‎i‎‎t, you r‎‎e‎‎t‎‎a‎‎rd. This is the only tactic.

If you're defending in Rhodok lands, boy oh boy are you gonna have some fun. I mean, s‎‎‎h‎‎i‎‎t, you'll have fun no matter what because you're essentially using a cheatcode by playing this fa‎‎g‎‎got faction, but DOUBLE the fun in mountainous regions. If any cavalry force attempts to fight you in the mountains, they will die three times as hard as they normally would (please note that cavalry die as hard as a diamond when fighting you even on open terrain). If any infantry force attempts it, they will only die twice as hard, but it's still lots of fun for you and no fun for anyone else. Take path finding to make up for the fact that you have no cavalry and are thus slow as a pregnant cow on the map, and you will have no trouble defending anything, ever.

How they square up vs other factions:

Rhodok vs Nord: Your infantry is admittedly about equal up until top tier when Nords start to win out (because Huscarls come with giant axes to smash your shields), but this equilibrium is immediately f‎‎u‎‎c‎‎‎‎k‎‎e‎‎d with a sandpaper condom via the Sharpshooters, who will absolutely crush the Nords very weak archers, and then their Huscarls.

Rhodok vs Vaegir: This is not a fight. This is a r‎‎e‎‎t‎‎a‎‎r‎‎‎ded russian child attempting to destroy a brick wall by smashing his head into it. Unless you're a massive f‎‎u‎‎c‎‎‎k up, you will always win this, by a large margin.

Rhodok vs Swadian: Set up your shield wall and laugh as half their knights die before they even reach you, then the other half get skewered like a f‎‎u‎‎c‎‎‎ki‎‎ng shishkebab. You beat them in infantry and ranged as well. (EXTREMELY FAIR AND BALANCED)

Rhodok vs Khergit: lol

Rhodok vs Sarranid: A bit more even since Sarranid master archers are more heavily armored than Vaegirs and can take a few more hits, but you'll still win if your sharpshooters are equal to/greater than their master archers, and your infantry will use Sarranid infantry and cavalry like two dollar w‎h‎or‎es.

God I f‎‎u‎‎‎c‎‎ki‎‎‎ng hate this faction so much