See these sexy people? They're what you call "pirates". That's also a class in this game. You follow?

The first step to beating this game is to unlock the pirate class. There's two ways to do this.

The first way you can unlock this class is by discovering the Dark Brotherhood.

To find the Dark Brotherhood, first you need to go to Windhelm and find Aventus' house.
That's the wrong Dark Brotherhood.

You just gotta find the Dark Brotherhood and show them a Club Penguin membership card and they'll let you in.

After your many failures, I'm sure you've noticed a buildup of Hero Points in your possesion.

The second way to unlock the pirate is by using 50 Hero Points to buy it. That's what I did, mainly because I couldn't find the Dark Brotherhood anywhere in any of my runs.

Yar har.

Now THIS is heroism.

One of the many perks you can unlock using your Hero Points is a little perk called "Pro-Wrestler". This boosts your unarmed attack power and makes you into the Macho Man Randy Savage of this game. All you need to do is save up enough Hero Points, unlock this perk, and fill up every perk slot available with this perk.


Nobody does it better.

The music that you listen to while ingame can have an effect on your performance. Listening to the default game soundtrack is good and all, but if you want actual performance boosting results, you need to have the right song playing.

After years of study, I've narrowed it down to one song that has the most performance-boosting effect on gameplay.

If you want to perform your very best, you have only one choice in music.





A Little Less Conversation by Elvis Presley.





I strongly suggest playing this on endless loop for the entire duration of your run if you want a chance at suplexing the Demon Lord to her his demise.

Come on, come on.

Once you've gotten everything set up for this pirate/pro-wrestler/Elvis fan run, it's time to start the run.

The only reason you should be using your starting battleaxe is for busting down walls.

Everything else:
punch the hell out of it.
I have to kill fast and bullets battleaxes too slow.

Before you kids say that using the Hero class is a better idea for the pro-wrestler build, I made this guide to help people who:

• Don't have that class yet.
  
• Don't want to complete Walk in the Park with every other class.
  
• Have trouble with Afternoon Stroll.

Besides, why punch people in the nude when you can be a badass pirate instead?
Have fun, kids. And remember: you are a pirate.