Every few seconds an Obstacle will appear in the player's path, and the player is given the option to FIGHT, TALK, or JUMP. The player is given no clue as to which obstacle has appeared until after they have made their choice, however, leaving it up to a guessing game. For each obstacle one of the options will grant the player 2 points, one will take away 1 point, and one will leave the player's score unaffected.

This is a list of all the replies you get from various objects after FIGHTing, TALKing, or JUMPing them. If you get a correct response, the game beeps and you earn 2 points. If you get it wrong, it beeps once and you lose a point. Otherwise, it won't beep at all and you earn 0 points.

KEY:
Item
Fight
Talk
Jump


Ball
It was a ball. You popped it and made some kid cry. (-1)
It was a ball. It talks of foreign lands. Intruiging. (+2)
It was a ball. You land on it and fall awkwardly. (0)

Bat
It was a bat. You throw tin foil at it, screwing up its radar. (+2)
It was a bat. SCREE! SQUEE! Ow! Your ears! (-1)
It was a bat. It's too high up. You hug a tree. (0)

Cable
It was the cable. The cable refuses to fight back. (0)
It was the cable. It says your girlfriend cheats on you. (-1)
It was the cable. Good. You don't get electrocuted. (+2)

Calendar
It was a calendar. You can't. You still end up getting everyone gift cards. (0)
It was a calendar. It says you forgot your 6 monthiversary. You're screwed. (-1)
It was a calendar. You jump over it. Leap year! (+2)

Chest
It was a chest. You beat the crap out of it. Poor chest. (-1)
It was a chest. You talked it into opening up. You're rich! (+2)
It was a chest. You jumped over it. Phew. Close one. (0)

Coffee
It was coffee. It won. Now you'll be up all night. (-1)
It was coffee. 'Triple cream, triple sugar. And a cruller.' (+2)
It was coffee. You spilled it. Whatever. (0)

Computer
It was a computer. You reformat and install Linux. Nice work. (+2)
It was a computer. Voice recognition software still sucks. (-1)
It was a computer. You land in Darren's cubicle. Guy's a tool. (0)

Cute girl
It was a cute girl. Now she is badly bruised. (-1)
It was a cute girl. You got her phone number. (+2)
It was a cute girl. You jumped over her. Weird. (0)

Darren
It was a Darren. You never liked Darren. Good going. (+2)
It was a Darren. He called you a 'dumbjob.' Ouch. (-1)
It was a Darren. He let you jump over him. Leap frog! (0)

Fear itself
It was fear itself. You fight fear with fear. Oh wait, that's fire. (0)
It was fear itself. You learn that it's just as scared of you. (+2)
It was fear itself. You fall forever then wake up in a bad cliche. (-1)


Franciscan Monk
It was a Franciscan Monk. Wimpiest monk ever. High five. (+2)

It was a Franciscan Monk. You tell him the one about the horse in the midget bar. He keeps his vow. (0)

It was a Franciscan Monk. You catch your foot on his habit, tripping and falling. (-1)


Great
It was great. Why fight something so great? (-1)
It was great. You talk to it. It's so great. (+2)
It was great. You jump over. Eh. Not so great. (0)

Home stereo system
It was a home stereo system. You puntcure the subwoofer. Lame. (-1)
It was a home stereo system. It totally is talking back to you! (0)

It was a home stereo system. You jump around, jump around, jump up jump up and get down. (+2)


K2
It was K2. You get lightheaded from lack of oxygen and lose both your hands. (-1)
It was K2. You guys make fun of sherpas together. Good times. (+2)
It was K2. It's a smidge too high. (0)

Love
It was love. You can't fight it and you can't hurry it. You just have to wait. (0)
It was love. You see a counselor and try to work things out. It doesn't work. (-1)
It was love. Now you're talking. (+2)


Meal replacement bar
It was a meal replacement bar. You break a tooth trying to bite it to death. (-1)
It was a meal replacement bar. You tell it that it is flavorless, and it reaffirms your belief by not replying. (+2)

It was a meal replacement bar. Ain't nobody replacing YOUR meal. (0)


Monster
It was a monster. He wasn't very strong. You won. (+2)
It was a monster. He pulled out a gun and shot you. (-1)
It was a monster. He was tall and you ran into his torso. (0)

Mother
It was mother. You lose. Now you're on telephone restriction. (-1)
It was mother. She calls nintendo, 'intendro.' How embarrassing. (0)
It was mother. Yeah! Jumped you, mommy! (+2)

Prisoner
It was a prisoner. He kicks your butt from here to the joint. (-1)
It was a prisoner. He seems amenable to reason and affirms your faith in rehabilitation. (+2) It was a prisoner. You avoided catching a bad case of incarceration. (0)

Proverb
It was a proverb. You knock the proverbial snot out of it. (+2)
It was a proverb. It's too highbrow. You get confused. (0)
It was a proverb. I said 'proverb' not 'riverb!' Jeez. (-1)

Rabid dog
It was a rabid dog. Rabies for you. (-1)
It was a rabid dog. 'Quit crappin up my lawn!' (+2)
It was a rabid dog. Bites the butt off your pants. Like in cartoons. (0)

Robot Darren
It was Robot Darren. Robot Darren has a laser. VOIP! (-1)
It was Robot Darren. It calls you a 'syntax error.' Ouch. (0)
It was Robot Darren. It was standing on a see-saw. It gets much air. (+2)

Rock
It was a rock. Your knuckles are all bloody. (-1)
It was a rock. Now you're really bored. (0)
It was a rock. You jumped over it. Nice one. (+2)

Scratch ticket
It was a scratch ticket. In the process you rub off the silver stuff. Five dollars! (+2)
It was a scratch ticket. It makes you feel like a loser. (0)
It was a scratch ticket. It could have been a winner. Now you'll never know. (-1)

Shark
It was a shark It bites your fists off. Too bad. (-1)

It was a shark Quint calls out to you from the depths of the shark's belly with some keen fishing tips. (+2)

It was a shark You jump the shark. Just like Homestarrunner.com. (0)


Social injustice
It was some social injustice. You feel pretty awesome about yourself. (+2)
It was some social injustice. Good conversation but nothing gets done. (0)
It was some social injustice. Sure, sure. Pretend like it doesn't exist. (-1)

Stand of pines
It was a stand of pines. Not standing anymore, boyiii. (+2)
It was a stand of pines. It whispers back. (0)

It was a stand of pines. You get caught on the branches and some serious pitch gets all over your hallrunning duds. (-1)


Stump
It was a stump. You can't fight the stump any more than you can stop time. (-1)
It was a stump. It grows a little. (0)
It was a stump. You jumped over it. Good plan. (+2)


Swing-dancing trend
It was the swing-dancing trend. You try but peer pressure causes you to take lessons anyway. (-1)

It was the swing-dancing trend. It's impervious to reason. (0)
It was the swing-dancing trend. It was pretty short so you have no trouble clearing it. (+2)


Train
It was a train. You put a penny on the tracks. Doesn't derail. (-1)
It was a train. You talk to the hobo in the livestock car. He smells. (0)
It was a train. Right through an open boxcar in a TransAm! (+2)