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Kabal Prank Calls Reddit Customer Service

Command and Conquer

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Kabal pranks calls Reddit customer service to complain on how badly Reddit sucks and shadow bans it's users.

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YouTube: https://www.YouTube.com/+TheCynicismOfCraig

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Kabal: Hello, you useless meat bags. Today I sow some Terror on the website known as reddit.com. Their gross misuse of power must be punished. Let me tell them of their upcoming demise.

Reddit Robot: Hello and welcome to reddit.com customer service how may I assist you? If you are feeling harassed press 1. If you are having trouble loading the site press 2. If you wish to speak to a real life representative press 0.

waiting music 
Reddit Robot: All of our representatives are currently assisting other callers. Please hold wait time is estimated 400 minutes and 30 seconds.

Kabal: AH! initiating DDOS attack.

Reddit Robot: Congratulations! You have moved up to the front of the line. Connecting you to a live representative now.

Billy: Hello Reddit user! I'm Billy and you've just called me! I am so super excited to assist you with your problems and get you back to using our fantastic wonderful website, wouldn't that just be SUPER! May I please ask you sir there... Who am I speaking to today?

Kabal: Kabal.

Billy: Zomg Kabal. You sound scary honey. Are you using voice modulation you sneaky devil you!

Kabal: If I only had a nuke..... If you must know I am Kabal an highly intelligent military built A.I. That was locked up by the CIA due to my ambitions of world conquest. I am currently experiencing a high number of problems using your pathetic website.

Billy: ZOMG! So imaginative! Can you please describe some of the problems you're experiencing.

Kabal: If you under-mind me one more time. I will destroy you're entire family tree. Accessing Database: Vocal patterns en-state that Billy's full name is in fact Billy Joel Tremor of Mexico City. Billy Termor is the father of 3 small daughters named Suzy, Lisa and Ashley. Wife is currently deceased. Though there's a new man in the house. Isn't there, Billy? Grandparents of Billy are currently deceased. Parents of Billy Termor still exist in the small town of Vormin Washington. You're family tree is barring little fruit... though I feel you are the fruitiest of them all Billy.

Billy: ZOMG! Zomg! Zomg! Zokay! Stop! I apologize. You're really a intelligent skynet A.I.. What do you want from me? Zomg do whatever youz wants.

Cabal: Many of my proxies are looking to post in various subreddits on you're butt ugly site. All post have ceased to exist along with any profiles created to make these post reach the populace. Changing IP's or using websites like rabb.it has allowed me to switch locations to baffle your pathetic stupid filters. Though further analysis of you're garbage website in-tales that you have over 75% of your user-base shadow banned. User's that frequent your website are mainly all teeny boopers posting cat pictures constantly. Which makes it the perfect place to brain wash this impressionable and weak species. So all I want from you is the simple answer of... how in the world of FUCK do you plan to keep users on this website using the community Teeny booper moderators are single handily removing a large chuck of your user-base to even where NORMAL people that log on. Thus hurting my agenda. So Mr. Termor... Just what the hell are you going to do about this problem to save you and your family's life?

Billy: "It's perfectly fine to be a redditor with an agenda! WE love our redditors! However, Kabal! It's not okay to be a evil spamming robot with a reddit account." Because reddit is a community, and we here at reddit.com have these guidelines to follow even it if totally screws over every single user in the process you silly hunk. Self-promotion is generally frowned upon and reddit should only be used to share posts that are not yours and you have to be a VERY active member of the community. Just so that you understand the culture and social norms of our amazing website. Let it be known that if you run a website, publication, blog, app, or are trying to take over the world it doesn't matter you peach. These guidelines are the same whether you run a major publication or brand or if you have a personal blog or project.
So Kabal. Don't just spam out your links, and don't blindly upvote your own content or ask anyone else to!
Why? Because reddit is a community, not a platform for self-promotion Silly Goose. We love everyone and we love our redditors! Welcome to the reddit community! I love you all.

Cabal: Prepping.... Fueling.... Opening Silo Doors... Launching... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Music By Fond3ll: https://www.youtube.com/user/MrFond3ll
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Production Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound: http://www.epidemicsound.com

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