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Postal 2 Achievements Guide

By Hafif and 1 collaborators

Introduction and info

IF ANY ONE WANT HELP I can help I did whole achievements write on my profile or in the comments I will help you if you stuck[/b]
I Regret Noting! This is a short and simple guide that will help you get Postal 2 achievements!
The guide is basically complete.I looked at the forums for some of the achievements.Feel free to discuss and/or contribute.
Something you need to know before you start.
This is my first guide ever, enjoy.

I didn't put all the achievements,because some of the achievements you can read in description what to do!

Award

Created by

Hafif
Offline

♛ Alfredo ♛
Offline

Category: Achievements

Languages: English

Posted

Updated

18 Nov, 2014 @ 4:02am

20 Nov, 2014 @ 3:24am

27,102	Unique Visitors
1,680	Current Favorites

Guide Index

Overview

Common Achievements

Uncommon Achievements

Rare Achievements

Epic Achievements

Download saves {for lazy people}

Comments

Common Achievements

IF ANY ONE WANT HELP I can help I did whole achievements write on my profile or in the comments I will help you if you stuck[/b]
R. Kelly's Protege
simply press the unzip key(default r) and then hold the fire key(default left mouse) until you have peed in someone's face until they vomit.

Well, aren't YOU a badass
Just go to any door (f.e. to house backdoor in front of your trailer) and press "Kick" button ('q' for default)

Friend of Dorothy
You'll likely achieve this without trying at some point, but if you're having trouble, just remember that police can't follow you through loading zones. When you reach max wanted level, simply exit through a loading zone (preferably one that is a tunnel), and wait on the other side. You will likely go unnoticed long enough to lose your wanted level. If you're spotted again, simply back up and transition back to the previous zone.

Duck Dynasty
find a bass sniffer radar(there is one in the police station and by your house on a few of the days(if you want the achievement fast, start a postal 2 difficulty game and you get one by default) then press the use key(default enter) to use it

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa
cats can be found walking around many of the areas of the game, and there are quite a few behind the lucky ganesh on monday, grab one by walking up to it(default walk key is shift) then when holding the shotgun or machine gun press the use key(default enter) to "accessorize" it.

Here, Wilfred
dogs can be tamed in two ways, one you can find dog treats(there are some in the house with loud music by the library) or you can behead someone and kick the head(playing fetch with the dog). upon dropping dog treats or kicking a head somewhere a dog will chase it you recieve this achievement

It's sterile and I like the taste
Just look exactly up, unzip your trousers (default: R) and use attack to piss. Bon Appétit!

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog
behead someone with a shovel, sythe, axe, garden clippers or baseball bat, then kick the head while a dog is watching and he'll chase it.

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway
on tuesday, ask someone to sign your petition until someone rejects you three times and runs, then gun them down.

Lieberman is our Leader!
You just have to eliminate the 6 (?) protestors outside the RWS Office BEFORE taking the paycheck. Then the achievement will pop up. You don't have to kill all of the protestors after getting the check.

Fur Sure!
You get this achievement for killing both Vince and Mike J on Monday when you go to pick up your check. They can both be found in the rooms with their names on the door. Mike is in the bathroom office and Vince is next door in the room with your check.

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree
You just have to eliminate the 6 (?) protestors at the entrance of the library BEFORE returning Your book. Then the achievement will pop up. You don't have to kill all of the protestors in the burning library.

Gotta pay the Troll Toll
After you're start game near your trailer - go around it to back side. There will be almost vertical rocks, and some bushes. In bushes there will be tube, crouch and go into it. After that you should use ladder and after that will be another part of level with 'Loading' screen and you're find some Terrorists. Achievement should pop up along the way

Door Mat
You'll need a fast weapon that can sever limbs, such as an axe or knife. The easiest way to do this is to aim for the legs first, then take off the arms, and finally the head. Some NPCs die quicker than others, so keep trying until someone lives right up to the beheading!

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace
On Wednesday, after pissing on your dad's grave, you are abducted by hicks who dress you up in a gimp outfit. Once you escape their compound, you still have the gimp outfit until you make it to the laundromat. Just kill 10 people who are minding their own business on your way.

Where's Mr. McGibblets?
On Thursday, you need to get a Krotchy doll. Outside the store where they are sold, there is a giant Krotchy mascot. You get this achievement for killing him. He's invulnerable to bullets and melee weapons, so you'll have to kill him with explosives.

Uncommon Achievements

IF ANY ONE WANT HELP I can help I did whole achievements write on my profile or in the comments I will help you if you stuck[/b]
FAB-U-LOUS!
You own clothes and the gimp outfit can't be missed if you play through the week. The third outfit is the police officer's uniform. You can get it by making your way to the very top of the police station, in the back of the locker room is a locker containing this uniform. An easy way to get there is to get arrested and break out of jail 5 times. Finally, you'll be put in the maximum security prison. When you break out of it you will be right next to the locker room. Equip the uniform after picking it up (default key 'E') and you're set. (Bonus: you can now open carry your weapons!)

Chapelle's Show
When an officer is near, drop a doughnut (default key is X) on the ground and piss on it (R + fire). Make sure he/she doesn't see you or they will try to arrest you. Once they wander close enough, they'll pick it up, eat it, and start puking. Achievement unlocked!

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale
A great place to get this done is in the parade square with the elephants. The band will march together in a predefined path - so lay down some gasoline, wait for them to walk over it, and strike a match. You can easily get 10 at a time this way. Just leave the zone and come back and you'll have this achievement in no time.

I Am Legend
To achieve this you need to kill yourself specifically using the suicide command (Default key "K"). You must also take at least 3 people with you to qualify.

Reddit would be proud.
You can also buy cats in the huge mall.

Paid the Piper
get a wanted level by commiting a crime, then when the "stand still to be cuffed" text appears(you may need to drop your weapon first) turn towards the officer and with your money selected press the use key(default enter) and you should give the officer the money and your wanted level should dissapear.(you may have to press the key a few times for it to work)

You are not alone
on thursday head to the second floor of the lucky ganesh, one of the taliban members will say "your mother is a goat whom my father services" and you will get the achievement

There's always money in the banana stand
After you drop off your check at the bank and the robbers come pouring in, get behind the counter where the teller was follow the employee hallways around to the room where the vault is. There are book cases all along the walls. The very last book case on your right (while facing the vault) can be opened with a kick. Step through and the achievement will unlock.
One time, at band camp...
You can get this achievement at the start of the Tuesday level.

Follow the path from your trailer to the street and you'll come across a marching band. Follow the band until they start turning left at the Money Shot Laundromat. A Taliban will run towards the band with dynamite strapped to his chest when the band gets there. He spawns in a bush near the Load Zone that's next to the ♥♥♥♥ Asian restaurant across the street from the Laundromat. You need to kill him before he runs to the band and explodes it. The achievement should pop up as soon as you kill him.

Señor Cornballer
The police uniform can be stolen from the very top floor of the police station, in the locker room. Also on the top floor is the chief of police's office. He has about 10 donuts on his desk. Just outside the police station is a doughnut shop where you can find about 20 more. You may need to hurt yourself so that you consume more donuts.

Shiva Blast
This one can be done on Saturday by the Zombie cows killing quest. You Need to stand back to the cow and throw the hammer on the cows ass. the hamemr will stuck in the cows ass and achievement unlocks ^^

A-Rod Who?
This tricky shot is best done right in your home zone. Head up the long hill to the far right as you leave your house, sever the head of a victim, and then knock the head down the hill. If your aim is true, it will fly a while, then roll to the bottom without getting stuck. That should be just far enough to trigger the achievement.

I should buy a boat
Simply pickup the newspapers from the ground in the beginning of each day from Monday to Friday. There are no newspapers at the weekend.

Found 'em faster than GWB
This one is challenging only because there are so many levels to it - you may think you've reached the end of the rabbit hole, but then there's more...

1. There is a secret sewer pipe behind your trailer. It's obscured by a bush on Monday but plainly visible every other day.
2. Go through the pipe and you'll soon reach the first level of the hidden Taliban base.
Note: I was confused when the achievement didn't pop here, but it turns out there's a long way to go before we're actually there.
3. Make sure you don't pass through any of the other sewer exits. Your goal is to shoot the control panel on the far back wall. This will open up a sewer grate leading to the next level following a cut-scene.
4. The exit to the Taliban base is in the middle of the water beneath the Taliban structure. Jump in the water after the cut-scene and follow the new sewer.
5. Battle through the green sewers on to level three.
6. You're now in a room with pipes. 'Platformer' your way carefully to the top, where you'll face several more Taliban. At the top there's a ladder that leads to a pipe out of the sewers and to a new outdoor area that's not on the map.
7. Still no achievement! Level 4 is a path through the mountains. There's really only one direction to go - facing Taliban along the way. Before long, you'll reach an entrance to a large cavern.
8. Finally, the achievement will come up. You've found the entrance to the actual Taliban base, but your adventure is just beginning!

I swear, I thought it was a home fill
The title of this achievement is a little misleading. There are several nuclear warheads in the military base you raid on Sunday, but the achievement is associated with beating the game. During the final cut-scene after completing Sunday, you drive off with your dog as an explosion goes off behind you. That is when you'll get this achievement.

Rare Achievements

IF ANY ONE WANT HELP I can help I did whole achievements write on my profile or in the comments I will help you if you stuck[/b]
♥♥♥♥♥ on a Pedestal
You just need one Kitty and a shotgun with 2 bullets.

Go home if you have the stuff.
Than save, kill your own dog and the dog of one of the neighbours nearby and reload. Than kill the two dogs again and reload and so on and so on.

(You have to use the kitty, while you are holding the shotgun in your hands)

Don't taze me, bro!
The stun gun (erroneously called the tazer in the achievement description) is only available on Liebermode difficulty (the easiest one). The closest one is in the house right next to your trailer on Monday. Pick it up and then head to the police station, go the top floor and find the locker room. In one of the lockers you'll find a police uniform. Use it from your inventory and then just go beserk with the stun gun. If you've already completed the game, you can enable Enhanced mode from New Game menu, which will automatically give you a police uniform into your inventory.

Uncle T-Bag
This is quite easy to do, surprisingly. You can do this any day of the base game week (Monday-Friday), though I'm not sure if you can do it on Apocalypse Weekend (Saturday/Sunday).

Anyway, to achieve this, get arrested by a police officer. To do this, shoot in the air or at someone near a police officer and you just have to drop your weapon (Z) and stand still to be arrested. They'll put you in a cell in the police station. To get out, it's as easy as following the big sign in or outside of your cell: start a fire in front of the fire detector!

To start a fire, strike a match and try to get it to land as close as you can to the detector (they're red, on ceilings, pretty hard to miss). It should open up the door and you can walk out.

Now, to get the achievement, you have to get arrested over and over and escape the same way each time. You can just easily walk up to an officer in the police station and they'll re-arrest you after you escape. They'll move the fire detector a bit farther away from you each time, but it's still pretty easy to toss a match that far.

After being put in a cell and escaping about 4-6 times, they'll put you in the "Hopkins" cell, which you'll instantly know as it only has a little window to look through and a wooden door. The fire detector this time is in a bit of a tricky location, behind the left wall if you're looking out the window. Keep adjusting until you can see it, and then do the same trick of lighting a match. It may take a few tries, but if you angle it perfectly when the detectors go off and the door opens the achievement should pop.

Cesar Millan is Gay
This one's a little tricky to grind out. You need to seduce a dog with either biscuits or a game of fetch. Once the dog is your friend, he should attack anyone you attack. Kick a bystander and watch your dog knock him dead. That's one. After about three, or if you need to travel too far to find more victims, your dog may wander off.

I find the best location for this achievement to be the parade square. There are two dogs in there, and tons of people with nowhere to go. If you can, kill the elephants first so they don't get all the kills, then bribe the dogs and get them to start attacking people. When everyone's cleared out or the dogs are dead, just leave and return to the area to grind on.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me
Requires:
- A zombie (Saturday or Sunday)
- A sledgehammer (or shotgun)
- A Scythe

1. First smash the zombie's head in such that it dies. (Note: simply cutting the zombie's head off doesn't qualify)
2. Use the Scythe on its dead torso. This will slice it cleanly in half.
3. Piss on the severed upper body of the zombie. It will start to fly up in the air, but keep aiming for the spot where it was lying on the ground.
4. Presto! After a second or two, there is a bright purple flash and you have your very own zombie warrior, and achievement unlocked.

Gary vs. a Giant Penis
The secret arena is located in the mall, near the store where Krochys are sold (Toyz 'n tha hood).

On Friday, when you finish the last mission and the apocalypse starts, head over to the mall, and make your way to this store. You will see a large silver stepladder underneath a grate. It's possible to climb this stepladder, but unfortunately it's not where it needs to be! Use your quicksave (F5) - you're going to need it as you slowly kick the ladder over to the opening 20 or so meters back. Save every few kicks, and if it falls over, load up and keep going. It's impossible to get upright again. Your destination is just past the fenced off "Coming Soon... Sorority Slave Girl Warehouse" area. Here, there is a ledge the ladder can help you climb up to. Once you get up, you'll head towards a black wall, which gives way to the secret arena, and the achievement will unlock.

Here is an image illustrating where you will find the ladder, and where you need to kick it to:

John Rambo'd!
To get this achievement, you have to listen to Dude's monologue as you're killing people. If he isn't saying anything, the rampage hasn't started, so save your bullets and victims.

Get into an area with lots of people, and start shooting them one at a time until Dude starts counting "one for the show", "and one for johnny", "and one..." etc. As soon as you hear him start to say this, line up your victims and make sure you don't take too much time between them. Once he counts off his 7th or 8th victim, the achievement will pop up.

His counting seems to trigger semi-randomly, so it might be helpful to save in a crowded area, then load if you've killed off most of the crowd and he hasn't started counting.

Fear and Loathing
This is a guide for the achievement "Fear and Loathing" or "Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.".

This is not a complete list of where all the pipes and catnips are, I'm just showing some of the locations during Monday and Tuesday so you can have enough for the achievement. You'll have to go through the entire Monday chapter since there aren't enough catnips in the chapter.

I recommend not smoking any of the pipes or catnips until you have 10 of each. Just in case you crash or something since you have to do it in one session. You don't need to hurt yourself or wait until the other drug has worn off, you can smoke again about 5 seconds after you've smoked.

Epic Achievements

IF ANY ONE WANT HELP I can help I did whole achievements write on my profile or in the comments I will help you if you stuck[/b]
40 Year Old Virgin
This time limit can be met fairly easily, and even combined with the Anustart! achievement run (Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills) on easy mode. I was able to do the first two days in 10 minutes each, and the last 3 in about 15 each, for a total of 1:05:09.

Here are a few tips to help cut the minutes off your time:
- Play through the game once or twice already and then do this run while it's fresh in your mind. It helps to know the most direct route to various areas.
- Plan a daily route that takes you from each mission to the next nearest. Keep in mind that certain missions (Laundromat & Clinic) are only unlocked after certain actions, so plan for where you know they'll take place.
- Make sure the last mission you do on Monday to Thursday is the one furthest away from home. This should minimize your travel time, since you only need to leave the area to end the day and get warped back home.
- Skip the Milk line! If you steal the milk and run straight upstairs through the back door, you can jump out a window and move on much faster than waiting to pay 5$ for it!
- Skip the Bank line! Ignore the cashier and run around back to the vault. If you steal the big bag of money, that qualifies as 'caching your check' and you can get out of there asap.
- You may have to suffer through other lines such as the Gary Coleman line and the confession line. Trying to cut in or kill people to shorten it might just cause chaos and force you to leave the area to reset it.
- On Wednesday, when you have to pay your summons ticket at the police station, a good trick to save you time is to first steal your Krochy doll. When the police flood in, let them arrest you! This saves you having to take on Krochy and navigate your way back there. You should be able to break out of jail quickly with your matches, run over to the "File Room" (next to the "Evidence Room" through which you exit) to grab a fresh ticket, then race upstairs to drop it off in the summons box. Might as well grab the uniform from the locker room next door while you're there. Missions go faster without all the cops trying to hit you with their night sticks.
- Don't spend a cent! It's possible to beat every mission without money. Just barge right in and take what you came for.

Bonus hint: If you're going for the Anustart! run at the same time, whenever someone is blocking a door or hallway you're trying to get through, kick like mad! It would take a lot of kicks to kill someone, even on the easiest difficulty.

CAN YOU DIG IT?!
I can confirm that this can be combined with the no kills run. I loaded up the auto-save right before I got home to end the game on the no-kills run, pulled out my shovel, and took 5 minutes to kill 40 people (just to be sure). I then returned home, credits rolled again, and when the stats came up, the achievement popped!

A previous guide mentioned their failed attempt after trying to load their last checkpoint and kill >5 people, but note that this achievement requires killing at least 30 people with the shovel before winning, as the description says.

Planet of the Apes: The Musical
The best advice for getting through the week on a Hard difficulty such as this is to get the Police uniform early each day. Many missions end with police swarming the area - and so long as you're wearing the police uniform, they'll never attack you and might even back you up.

On day one, get arrested as soon as possible. Just kick a police officer or something. Once arrested, feel free to escape and get arrested 4 more times in a row. This will place you in the cell at the top of the station, right by the locker room, making it easy to escape and dress up each new day. Follow the stairs back down to the armory and evidence room and you'll have all your weapons and more at your disposal.

Getting arrested is also a good way to escape from compounds without having to fight your way out. In the toy store, meat store, and more - just wait for the police to flood in, let them whack you, and they'll take you out of harm's way.

Other than that, get good and quick with a shotgun and glock - you'll want to rely on these high damage weapons to dispose of enemies before they can do damage. Keep hash-pipes handy and only use them when your health is low. They will become a precious commodity.

You'll want to get in the habit of using quick-save as well. There are many missions (such as going to confession) that are painful to repeat from the very beginning if you forget to save after waiting in line and watching the cut-scenes.

Download saves {for lazy people}

IF ANY ONE WANT HELP I can help I did whole achievements write on my profile or in the comments I will help you if you stuck[/b]

Fear and Loathing
This saving was made for those who are too lazy to run around and spend time looking for these tubes and Catmints (even by Guide).
1. Download save from{LINK REMOVED}Here2. Unpack, copy save in the game directory(...\Steam\SteamApps\common\POSTAL2Complete\Save)
3. Use tubes and Catmints (10 each) and enjoy achievement

40 Year Old Virgin
CAN YOU DIG IT?!
Anustart!

Download the preservation of this Here[rghost.net]
Throw this in the save folder:steam/steamapps/common/postal2complete/save.
I went through all the days from Monday to Friday, but I haven't finished the game!
I kept right in front of the house Dude, just go straight and the game ends.

Scientology Level: OT VIII
Download from {LINK REMOVED}Here Put it here C:\Program Files (x86)\Steam\steamapps\common\POSTAL2Complete\Save
Or (...\Steam\SteamApps\common\POSTAL2Complete\Save} Watch out from boss you have only one life!

134 Comments

< >

Veryfungi3221 #FixTF2 16 Jul @ 2:28pm

none of the links work, 2 are removed and 1 leads to a dead site

Banake 20 Apr @ 10:32pm

Thanks. \o

AkItO 29 Jan @ 4:14am

for door mat better take chainsaw

Nihilanth 16 Oct, 2023 @ 5:56am

You can also achieve "Michonne ain't got nothin' on me" in the base postal 2 game. On wednesday simply piss on the grave in the cemetery with the 'Zombie Dad' tombstone and a zombie will spawn. You can resurrect this zombie just like the guide explains.