The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Special Edition

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Special Edition

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Calm, Muffle, Sneak Attack, Raise Zombie, Sneak Attack, Profit | Vanilla Skyrim | Cheese Build
By NoRain :( 🗕 🗗 🗙
420 The High Elf, Heavy Armour, Illusion, Sneak, One-Handed, Archery. What do these things create? The dumbest, counter-intuitive, most broken build Vanilla Skyrim has ever seen. (No Restoration Loop)
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1) 420, The High Elf
This step is pretty straightforward. Just start your game as an Altmer, a High Elf. This gives you 150 Magicka to start- an absurd amount at early levels. This also gives you immediate access to ALL of the apprentice spells from Farengar in Whiterun because of your minimum level of 20 in all things magic.
2) Speed
To get you in the mood to play the Skyrim introduction one more time:

Now that your head is still on your shoulders, I recommend going with Ralof instead of Hadvar because fighting the Imperial Officer with Ralof gives you that yummy heavy armour you'll need for this build.

Once you speedrun outta that hoe, stop at the first Three Standing Stones[elderscrolls.fandom.com] and select the Thief Stone. Go do the other ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in Riverwood. Make sure to complete the "A Lovely Letter[elderscrolls.fandom.com]" quest by telling Camilla Valerius that Sven smells, because you'll want to be friends with Faendal for more yummy cheese later on. Before you start selling the ♥♥♥♥ you collected from Helgen, make sure to go sleep at the Sleeping Giant Inn. This will give you +20% xp in tandem with your +20% xp in Thief skills- most notably being Speech. Now that you're XP farming like there's no tomorrow, go sell all your ♥♥♥♥, while also making any potions you can inside the inn- sell those, too. You can loot around barrels and backyard farms for the ingredients to vegetable soup- always nice to have, but mostly irrelevant to this build. It's only gonna be Emergency Campbells.
3) Whiterun
Go do whatever garbage quests you wanna do, mostly delivery fetch-quests. Your priority right now is getting to Farengar to buy the following spells:

  1. Calm[elderscrolls.fandom.com]
  2. Muffle[elderscrolls.fandom.com]
  3. Raise Zombie[elderscrolls.fandom.com]

These will be your foundation for the build. Now, fast travel back to the Standing Stones from earlier, and select the Mage Stone. Then, Fast Travel back to Riverwood, and sleep at the inn for the buff if you've lost it. You can see what your active effects are by going into the Magic tab, and scrolling all the way down to "Active Effects". Once you have that, spam Muffle as much as you can. You'll start levelling up ridiculously fast. Place your first points into Illusion, then Heavy Armour.

Go find Faendal- tell his ♥♥♥♥♥ ass to follow you, then proceed to rob him of all knowledge he as about archery. I say "rob" because you'll notice he lets you into his prison pocket. Once you "pay" him, simply repossess the funds you had temporarily lent him. Do this, alternating between scamming Faendal and levelling up Illusion in order to scam Faendal some more.

Now you'll have a ridiculous amount of levelling in Illusion and Archery. Perfect. Allocate any points exclusively into your Magicka. I stop around Level 16, leaving me with 300 Magicka in the bank. Now send Kid Fondler (his house has kids stuff in it, but alas, I don't see any kids of his ( ⚆_⚆ ) ) back home. Refresh your buffs, and now you can set out to pretty much do whatever you want, but going to get the Golden Claw and Dragonstone is usually the first order of business.

Dragon Rising[elderscrolls.fandom.com]

The Golden Claw[elderscrolls.fandom.com]
4) Playstyle
Well, the rest is kind of up to you now, but here's a basic rundown of how to play with this build. Make sure to frequent the Standing Stones to best help your play-style, and to rebuff with "Well Rested". I recommend keeping it on the Thief Stone when levelling up Sneak.

You see an enemy? They're mad? Not with Calm™!

Once they're submissive and breedable, simply cast muffle, sneak up behind them, and slam them in the back of the skull with a melee weapon of your choosing. They didn't die? Calm™ them again!

Repeat this process until they're a corpse on the floor. Muffle will silence your heavy armour- it's fantastic.

Now that you're staring at a lifeless body, you might have some regret. Did they have a family? Did they have friends? Push those ♥♥♥♥♥ thoughts aside. You're not done with them yet. Violate the sanctity of death by resurrecting them with "Raise Zombie" to then Muffle yourself, and Sneak-Murder them once more. Do you feel that? That's yummy double XP for every kill you get with this build.

Once you hate murder enough people like this, you'll want to put a few points into One-Handed, as well as levelling Sneak (you don't have to go past the first level of Stealth considering you have Muffle and Calm™, but you do you) up until you have "Assassin's Blade"

Sneak attacks with daggers now do a total of fifteen times normal damage.

So basically, eventually you'll be able to use your illusion spells on the Undead- even Dragons. But for the early stages of the game, you'll probably just be using Muffle to sneak in your Heavy Armour, and being Sneak-Archer scum to eliminate them in the early stages.

Living people will almost always follow this cycle.

  1. Calm™
  2. Muffle
  3. Sneak-Murder
  4. Resurrect
  5. Sneak-Murder Part 2
  6. Profit
5) Profit (Cheese)