Author: Flame
18 May 2024

This research paper explores the intersection of gaming and relationship-building, specifically focusing on how individuals can successfully pursue romantic relationships while maintaining their passion for playing Elden Ring. By integrating psychological theories and empirical findings, the paper provides a comprehensive guide on balancing gaming and social interactions, enhancing communication skills, and boosting self-confidence.

Elden Ring is undoubtedly one of the most successful crossed-platform games in recent years. According to Evgeny Obedkov from his article on the site Gameworld Observer (2024), Elden has made over 20 millions copies sold over the world by February 22, 2023. With millions of individuals engaging in complex and immersive virtual worlds. Elden Ring, a widely acclaimed action role-playing game, has captivated gamers globally. However, balancing extensive gaming with maintaining social relationships, particularly romantic ones, poses a significant challenge. This paper investigates strategies that tarnished can employ

Previous studies have highlighted the impact of gaming on social interactions and relationships. Research by Przybylski and Weinstein (2017) suggests that moderate gaming can foster social connections, which will be extra handy in seeking romance partners. Furthermore, communication theories by Burgoon et al. (2016) emphasise the importance of effective communication in building and maintaining relationships, which the tarnished is well-trained in the game, referring to the discussion in the paper below. Furthermore, the repeated failures and challenges in Elden Ring require players to manage their frustration and stress (Peppiatt D, 2022), helping them develop better emotions, which is helpful when dealing with your partners. This paper synthesises these insights to propose practical strategies for all beloved tarnished.

This paper employs a qualitative analysis of existing psychological literature and gaming studies. It integrates findings from various fields, including social psychology, communication studies, and behavioural science, to formulate practical recommendations for all tarnished in seeking their romantic relationships.

Effective communication is paramount in any relationship. Studies by Burgoon et al. (2016) highlight the significance of active listening and empathy in conversations. Gamers can enhance their communication skills by practising these techniques in both virtual and real-world interactions. Engaging in multiplayer modes and cooperative gameplay in Elden Ring can also serve as a platform for practising these skills. For example, refer to the sections below:

As voice or text conversation are not allowed in the game, Tarnished are forced to communicate using poses or premade words/phrases provided in the game, which adds a unique layer of interaction to the multiplayer experience. These gestures, ranging from friendly waves to aggressive battle stances, allow tarnished to convey a wide array of emotions and intentions. This system fosters a sense of camaraderie and understanding among players, as they must interpret and respond to these visual cues during their cooperative or competitive encounters in the game. This helps the tarnished to interpret immediately and effectively in every move or gesture acted by their partner.


The premade text system in the game limits the tarnished to expressing themselves using short and meaningful phrases. This helps the tarnished highlighting the keypoint in a conversation with their partners, and responds to them using short and sharp sentences.


Self-confidence is a crucial factor in attracting and maintaining romantic relationships. Psychological theories, such as Bandura's (1986) self-efficacy theory, suggest that belief in one's abilities can enhance self-esteem. Tarnished need patience to learn and overcome the complex challenges these games present, fostering a mindset of steady improvement and persistence (Saavedra, J, 2022). If the tarnished are able to defeat the bosses in the game, given that the tarnished had gone through several failures and are still willing to face the same boss over and over again without the tilt, then the tarnished is definitely ready to face their partner too.




Understanding the psychology behind attraction can be beneficial for gamers navigating the dating scene. According to Finkel and Eastwick's (2015) research, mutual interests, physical attraction, and emotional connection are pivotal elements in romantic relationships. Interestingly, Elden Ring, as evidenced by its Steam tags, has been somewhat humorously categorized as a dating simulator by some players. This is due to characters like Ranni and Melina, who are referred to as 'waifus' in the game. Engaging in various side quests with these characters allows tarnished to experience a variety of story-rich female archetypes, ranging from tsundere to ambitious to courageous, without the complexities of real-life interactions. This immersive experience also provides an opportunity for tarnished to become more adept at understanding and appreciating different personality types, enhancing their enjoyment of the game's diverse range of characters.

Balancing Elden Ring with romantic relationships is achievable with the right strategies. By playing Elden Ring, the tarnished are able to enhance communication skills, boost self-confidence and understand relationship dynamics, which helps the tarnished in securing and pursuing romantic relationships without compromising their passion for Elden Ring. Future research could further explore the impact of specific gaming behaviours on romantic relationships.

Bandura, A. (1986). Social Foundations of Thought and Action: A Social Cognitive Theory. Prentice-Hall.

Burgoon, J. K., Guerrero, L. K., & Floyd, K. (2016). Nonverbal Communication. Routledge.

Finkel, E. J., & Eastwick, P. W. (2015). Interpersonal attraction: In search of a theoretical Rosetta Stone. Handbook of Social Psychology, 179-210.

Gentile, D. A., Choo, H., Liau, A., Sim, T., Li, D., Fung, D., & Khoo, A. (2011). Pathological video game use among youths: A two-year longitudinal study. Pediatrics, 127(2), e319-e329.

Przybylski, A. K., & Weinstein, N. (2017). A large-scale test of the Goldilocks Hypothesis: Quantifying the relations between digital-screen use and the mental well-being of adolescents. Psychological Science, 28(2), 204-215.

Elden Ring sales hit 23 million copies, making it FromSoftware’s best-selling game. (2024, February 22). Game World Observer. Retrieved from https://gameworldobserver.com/2024/02/22/elden-ring-sales-23-million-copies-top-fromsoftware-game

Saavedra, J. (2022, February 22). Why Elden Ring’s perfect difficulty should be the new standard for FromSoftware games. Den of Geek. Retrieved from https://www.denofgeek.com/games/elden-ring-perfect-difficulty-dark-souls-easy-mode/

Peppiatt, D. (2022, February 22). Elden Ring: A guide for Souls newcomers. Windows Central. Retrieved from https://www.windowscentral.com/elden-ring-souls-newcomers

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