As creatively bankrupt as I might be, I would like to think that I'm still pretty good at making guides. Which is why today I'm bringing you the guide nobody asked for, and even fewer people actually want: a guide to the many stereotypes of L4D2 players based on which survivor they play as, as well as some common signs you can use to identify which stereotype they fit into.

Most Rochelle players fit into one of two categories. The first is the new player, and this can be explained by the fact that Rochelle is rarely picked in the lobby. When new players join a game via quickplay, they get thrown into a random server and since Rochelle is the only available survivor they end up playing as her.

In general, a new player Rochelle will only be new to L4D2, but not games as a whole. They'll have decent aim and movement, but they'll still probably get pinned a lot and take a bit longer than usual to help their team since they haven't got great game sense yet. The good thing is, these guys usually stick around for a few games, and if you help them out they'll probably have improved a little by the time you leave.

The easiest way to identify a new player Rochelle is to try talking to them in chat. If they aren't replying or using any voicelines, they're probably new.

The other category is at the complete opposite end of the spectrum: the experienced and slightly toxic veteran. These guys frequent versus games and advanced/expert campaign lobbies, where they'll do their best to prove how much better they are at the game than everyone else. Odds are they'll have suspiciously good aim with a sniper rifle, use their vocaliser frequently, and won't hesitate to trash talk other players in text chat or VC. As annoying as they might be to deal with, they're likely carrying the team as a whole and putting in more than their fair share of the work, so they rarely get votekicked.

The best way to identify a veteran Rochelle is to look at their weapon choices and how far ahead they're rushing; they'll most commonly run the Military Sniper or silenced SMG, and will be leading the rest of the group by a significant distance.

You know those "Nick Grindset" memes? There's a reason those exist.

If someone joins a lobby and immediately chooses Nick, there's a 90% chance that they're going to be a rusher. They'll run straight to the saferoom as fast as they can, treating the game like they're playing in single player. What normally ends up happening is the rusher Nick will get pinned by a smoker or hunter and instantly ragequit, only to join another lobby moments later to restart the process. Because these guys normally speedrun in easy or normal difficulty lobbies, they tend to severely overestimate their own skill level. Granted they usually have pretty good aim, and can likely hold their own in most situations, but they'll still end up getting pinned one way or another.

Some common signs that someone is a rusher Nick (aside from them rushing) are that they never heal (and will go idle if you attempt to heal them), they insult their teammates in chat even when they've done nothing wrong, and their end of round general infected kills stat is 3 times that of the second highest scorer.

When you see someone choose Coach in the lobby, chances are they're a pretty good teammate. Most Coach players don't take the game too seriously, and you can almost always count on them to have your back when you need it most. They'll also likely be using text chat, and occasionally their vocaliser.

There's also a subset of team player Coachs who take the shtick a bit too far, often to the detriment of themselves and the rest of the team. Like if they were already safe at the rescue vehicle, and you were 5 seconds away and in no danger whatsoever, they'll jump out and start charging headfirst into the horde to "hold them off" and save you, only to end up dying.

Some common signs to look for to identify a team player Coach are them sharing medical supplies even if they need them more, falling back to help someone lagging behind, and slightly lower than average end of round scores.

Like Rochelle, most Ellis players fall into one of two fairly similar categories. The first is the rookie. They've played plenty of fps games before so they'll have decent aim and gamesense, but they'll constantly make mistakes that make you ask "why?". Things like using grenades when there's hardly any commons nearby, shooting propane tanks at point blank range, or trying to kill witches with an SMG.

Whilst a rookie Ellis makes mistakes because they don't know any better, a casual Ellis makes them intentionally. They know they shouldn't do it, and yet they do it anyway, just so they can see what happens. The difference between the two categories comes down to their mentality; in almost every other aspect, they'll seem identical.

If you want to know whether the Ellis main you're dealing with is a rookie or casual, try asking them in chat why they keep doing stupid things. The rookie is far less likely to try and explain or defend himself.

The stereotype for Bill is very specific; A mid 30s male (probably unemployed) who's been playing L4D since release, and fully expects everybody else on the team to follow his orders to the letter. There's a high likelihood he'll be using voice chat, as well as multiple chat binds, and will be telling the other survivors what to do constantly. My guess is that this stems from their many years of experience with the game, and they play as Bill since he's the leader of the L4D survivors.

In most cases a drill sergeant Bill will be the best player on the team, rarely missing his shots or getting incapped. Because of this, you might be tempted to ask him why he's playing on a normal difficulty campaign server with 3 randoms. Don't. It's not worth it.

You won't need to looks for any signs that a Bill main is a drill sergeant Bill, because he'll be the one telling you. If you want to be sure, try doing something stupid like throwing a molotov near him, and see how angry he gets over VC.

By far the most average L4D player you will ever meet. I don't think I've ever played with a Francis main that did anything memorable. They hardly use VC, text chat or vocalisers. There's no specific weapon they tend to prefer, or strategies they employ. Odds are a forgettable Francis main will only stick around for a single game, and then you'll never see them again. There's just nothing distinct about them. Given some of the other stereotypes in this guide though, that might not be a bad thing.

Not all vocaliser spammers are Louis mains, but all Louis mains are vocaliser spammers.

People who main Louis always seem to be wildcards. There's no way to know for sure whether they'll be a helpful team player, or a troll who'll try to incap you as soon as they join, but one thing's for certain; no matter what they're doing, they will be spamming a vocaliser the entire time. And no, they won't stop under any circumstances.

As for telling whether they're going to be a good person to have on your team, you'll need to use common sense and decide for yourself based on their actions. You can do it. I believe in you.

Zoey is another one of those survivors who has 2 main stereotypes associated with her. The 2 she has also happen to be very similar to Rochelles. They also happen to be much worse.

Firstly, the fresh install. The biggest giveaway that you're dealing with a fresh install Zoey is that you'll do a double take thinking the survivor bot is broken in some way, only to realise that its another player. If a new player Rochelle behaved as if they'd never played L4D before, a fresh install Zoey behaves as if they've never used a computer. If you ever see them standing still for 5-10 seconds, it's likely because they can't find the key on their keyboard that they need to press.

Aside from standing idle for long periods of time, some other indicators of a fresh install Zoey include getting stuck on map geometry, never helping pinned teammates, or being generally oblivious to their surroundings.

The other stereotype is a combination of all the worst aspects of L4D players. Toxic Zoey mains want nothing but to ruin the game for as many people as possible.

Here's some of the many things toxic Zoeys can do to make your day worse:
- rushing unreasonably far ahead of the rest of their team to kill all the commons
- spamming vocalisers constantly, particularly a loud death scream. Over, and over, and over again
- bragging about their own end of chapter stats, or insulting others with lower stats
- 'accidental' friendly fire
- being racist in chat or insulting you in ways that don't make sense
- using NSFW sprays
- blatantly cheating or using scripts

Oftentimes calling a votekick on them is enough to make them snap. They'll spam their racial slur bind a dozen or so times and then leave the server. If you encounter a toxic Zoey, this is usually the easiest way to deal with them.

If you think this guide is serious, god help you