Found the Toot Button
Relieve the buildup of natural pressures in the gastrointestinal tract through quick, albeit semi-musical, bursts of gaseous release.

Clearly the most important achievement requiring it's own section. The default key is C, on your keyboard if you are unable to find it. It can be remapped in the options, if your C key is broken, or you're using a different language keyboard.

Weed Killer
Defeat Kyle in his sacred grove.

Complete Chapter 1

Bastardly Behavior
Defeat Princess Kenny at the Town Square Ampitheater.

Complete Chapter 2

Fully Worthy
Become an honorary Marshwalker.

Complete all maps prior to taking on the boss of Chapter 3

Dragon Killer
Defeat Stan at the playground.

Complete Chapter 3

The Cursed Bloodline
Defeat Liane at the church.

Defeat the miniboss of Chapter 4

Inevitable Betrayal
Defeat Cartman in the foothills.

Complete Chapter 4

Everyone Needs Ambien
Defeat Mr. Hankey.

Complete Chapter 5

Impotent Vengeance
Toot on an enemy faction leader while dead.

I'm sure you've found the Toot button, if not find the related achievement.
What we're essentially trying to do is press the toot button, while being close enough to an enemy leader that just killed us. Many of them will push us away after incapacitating us. The second wind upgrade card may help with mobility, including the related perks.
There are multiple bosses to attempt this on, starting from the hardest to the easiest:
Kenny: He flies around, good luck catching him.
Cartman: Arena is huge, and difficult to catch the guy you spent the game chasing.
Kyle: Doable, while being downed, you can still be affected by the trampolines, drastically giving you much more mobility. So when he teleports, you can find trampoline to bounce yourself to him,
and if you miss, try to bounce yourself to another trampoline.
Stan: The easiest. Due to his low mobility, and ability to stunlock you to death, you can end up near him upon being incapacitated by him, spam that toot button, or, as a friendly revives you, he'll go after them, so he'll be in your toot radius soon enough. You can work with a friend to make this easier.

No Tears Now, Only Dreams
While Invisible, defeat a human boss with a melee attack.

Easy with any boss. Required that you draw the invisibility Bullsh!t card.
Best done with Double daggers for the mobility to jump-dive-stab them.

Marshpooper
Defeat Stan within 25 minutes of starting your run.

Chapter 3 Speedrun
There are 2 combinations of 3 maps I have encountered for Chapter 3.
1. The Construction Yard
2. Jimbo and Ned's errands
3. 5th Grader's Junkyard
The Construction Yard is the fastest, and can be achieved running past enemies entirely.
Jimbo and Ned's Errands requires teamwork and communication to cover the player who is
the mule for the fetch quest.
The 5th Grader's Junkyard requires a damage dealing, speed killing, crew. Less communication
is necessary. If you have no friends, or are playing solo, I recommend a combination of 5th graders Junkyard and the construction yard. The Invisibility Bullsh!t card will be helpful for the Construction yard speedrun, while maxing out weapon damage in perks would help take out everything faster. The bubble shield will keep projectiles off you too. If you have friends, do jimbo and Ned's Errands, just don't dawdle or spend time exploring or looting, and it can be done easy.
I think the Movie Theater map, and Stan's arena map is a requirement.

Know Thy Enemy
Defeat Cartman without damaging any stationary decoy.

Chapter 4 Boss fight.
It is recommended to attempt this solo, with bots. After you damage Cartman enough, he'll spawn multiple decoys. Keep your bot team healed and avoid fighting decoys entirely. Let them shift through the decoys for you, until they find the right one. Then just kill Cartman when he's revealed.

Clean Underwear
Kill 50 Pooplets in one battle.

Chapter 5 Boss fight.
Mr. Hankey will send endless little pooplets your way. They have low HP, so using the Axe's swing attack or any AOE weapon will clear them easily for this achievement.

Grave Dancing
Dance while reviving an ally.

The default key for emotes on the keyboard is "Z." hold down that key, and then left click, any dance emote while reviving an ally.

Socially Transmitted Distraction
Start a run with someone who has Socially Transmitted Distraction. They say it started in a lab out in California somewhere.

I assume matchmaking randomly, or joining a friend who has this achievement will grant it. Ask and add people in the discussion forums also might work. You can add me and comment down below, and I'll help you with it.

Tap That Maple Syrup
Kill an Ent with Bleeding damage.

The Double Daggers weapons is probably required for this, which apply bleed on hit.
Ents, are 3 kids, stacked up pretending to be trees. Mainly encountered in chapter 1, but possibly a few in chapter 4 and beyond. Attack them to low health with your daggers, but don't kill them. Allow the bleed status effect to get rid of them. The Hemorrhage upgrade card might increase bleed Damage.

Death From Above
Defeat 10 enemies with weapon strikes from the air.

The best weapons are the Double Daggers or the Two-handed axe. Just keep jumping and dive bomb your enemies until the achievement pops.

Fields Of Flame
Set 4 or more enemies on fire with no more than 2 seconds in between each.

recommended to be done with the Wand ranged weapon, though can be done with other weapons. Upgrade cards can help if you're really stuck with it.

Pirate Ship, Please!
Kill 3 enemies with cannonballs.

After Chapter 3, Henrietta Biggle(aka that fat goth chick) will spawn out of boredom next to the porta-potty. If not, progress the game further. She'll offer several arena fights, where you take on waves of enemies. Cannons are found here, with cannon balls in large supply. It's recommended to attempt this in arena fights, as cannon balls are generally precious for breaking frozen loot in the main campaign.

Powdered Cheese Bath
Heal 150 points of damage with a single Healing Totem across any number of allies.

Requires the Healing Totem Power.
Best done in Coop. Communicate with friends, and play on Hard difficulty, they'll rush to your Healing Totem when they are inevitably dying. Perks for increased max health as well as Upgrade cards for the Healing Totem are helpful but not required.

Put the Ass in Assassin
Fart on 3 Assassins using Fart Escape.

Requires the Fart Escape Power.
Assassins are encountered in just about every chapter, skulking around near the end of battles after your main fights with the swarmers. They're invisible but make tracks through the snow. Spawning often in groups of 3, fart escape as soon as you encounter one, as it tracks.

The Green Seas
Make at least 4 enemies Vomit with no more than 1 second in between each.

Requires the Fart Escape Power.
Easily done, running into a swarm that has just spawned. If you're really having no luck, the Suck @ss, or Lingerer upgrade cards might help.

Middle Management
Revive an ally with a Cheesed Necro.

You are required to have the Cheesing Power and play on Chapter 4 in search of Necromancers
I just figured out the best situation for this in solo. Chapter 4, before the church, Main street has a very tight corridor, so the bullsh!t card invisibility and Bubble shield power will help you here. Rush through the street, to the end, and come right back, forcing all enemies to spawn, but spread out. This will ensure your AI teammates will remain spawned regardless of distance in the corridor. Use the Invisibility bullsh!t card as per necessary to keep the aggro off you, as all your bot team mates die. After that, clear out any heavy resistance. Cheese a nearby Necromancer, or Zombie Cheese him if you have the upgrade card, that also counts, and it makes this easier in case he dies. Keep any enemies off the Necromancer until he finally figures out how to resurrect your teammates. Then this achievement should pop.

Discerning
Increase the rarity of 10 upgrades to Rare or better.

As the goal is quantity, rather than quality, pick uncommon rarity cards, and raise them to rare. Ignore rarer cards, unless you're flush with toilet paper, and want to keep going. Recommend you have the Sweet-talker Perk, found at the bottom of the perks web so it would cost 30% less.

Legendary
Acquire a Legendary Upgrade.

See Ultra-Legendary Below for more details

Ultra-Legendary
Acquire an Ultra-Legendary Upgrade.

The Sweet-talker Perk is always good. The "Power Bias" Perks make the chance of drawing a legendary card, higher. As well as the Ace in the hole Perk too. Usually, most players have enough TP by the end of any run to upgrade even a common card to Ultra-Legendary by the end of their run. This achievement will not stack though, so you will need to collect a legendary card and Ultra-Legendary cards separately for their respective achievements.

I'll Do It Myself
Damage an enemy in your Event Horizon using your own projectile.

You are required to have the Gravity Bomb Power, and draw the Event Horizon Upgrade card.
Upon activation of the power, fire projectiles from your ranged weapon(Wand does not count), into the orb as it travels forward. As I understand it, the Orb must cleanly move forward, damaging enemies, but without hitting a wall and explode for the achievement to pop.

The Escher of Necromancy
Use Cheesy Zombies on a Necro.

You are required to have the Cheesing Power, and draw the Cheesy Zombies Upgrade card. And also, you need to be on Chapter 4 or higher.
Necromancers appear during and after chapter 4. Defeat them, and then Cheese them back to life.

Mooncrash
Kill an enemy with an aerial attack after floating with Moon Jump for at least a second.

You are required to draw the Player Bullsh!t card "Moon Jump." Upon activation, Jump, and melee an enemy who has lower health to kill them. Best pick the two-handed Axe for this, for the higher damage.

Van Helsing
Defeat 10 Vampire Kids.

Pray to RNGesus and hope that on your run, that the enemy picks the "vampires" Bullsh!t Card. If they do, you usually have 2 opportunities to take down 3 of them each time. Usually affecting Swarmers.

PIZZATIME!:
You can also do the tutorial 10 times for the Van Helsing achievement. But it does take longer. I replayed the tutorial a couple of times to kill the last Vampires after killing most of them in the campaigns.

Fraun:
Van Helsing achievement tip. In the free DLC "To Danse with Ravenous Shadows" you need to start level Twofold (4th of them). On the fourth wave there spawns 3-5 vampires every time.

A New Rule
Finish a map with one extra Rulebook applied.

Upon completion of the game, you'll be find Nicole, who will spawn on New game+ offering mutations to your run.

Hardcore
Find and activate every Rulebook across an entire run, and live to tell the tale.

Find Nicole every time she spawns, and beat the run. I only needed to find her twice.

Dedicated Improvement
Purchase 10 Rarity increases when selecting upgrade cards
[Unlocks "Only the Best" Perk]

Related to the Discerning Achievement. Except upgrading any rarity will do.

Hoarder
Finish a run without spending toilet paper.
[Rewards: 20 PP]

Don't buy any upgrades jimmy, easily done by joining matchmaking.

Heroic Parkour
Avoid Stan by crossing the rooftops of Main Street.
[Unlocks "Gravity Bomb" Power]

Unmissable. Chapter 2

Ice to meet you
Free Randy using the gnomish war wagon.
[Unlocks "Sword and Shield" Weapon]

Complete the quests to Chapter 1.

Toilet Paper Mogul
Liberate the fabled treasure of Stark's Pond.
[Unlocks "Bubble Shield" Power]

There are 3 Frozen Treasures of Stark's Pond in Chapter 1, requiring a cannon to liberate.
1st in a cave on the frozen lake. 2nd on the side of the frozen lake. 3rd On a cliff behind the picnic tables with the presents.

Petty larceny
Break open 25 lootable containers
[Unlocks the "Bullrush" Power]

I really hope you don't need a guide for this.

RIPlining
Complete the Stark's Pond Backcountry Adventures scenario.
[Unlocks "Big Boned" Upgrade card]

RNG Based, Chapter 1 has you tasked with finding keys and gas, one of the maps where they spawn, is a Ziplining map. It's super kewl and awesome you guys. Just finish the map, and you get it.

Lifegiver
Resurrect your allies 5 times
[Unlocks "Second life" Perk]

Getting it shouldn't be hard, asking a friend to die several times, or having bots stand around you getting shot on solo, also works.

IED Summer Camp
Defeat 10 enemies with drone bombs.
[Unlocks "Bombing run" Upgrade card]

Use this power often as you can. Combining the Blast Anchor card, and the Fart escape will make a good in-and-out goingaway present.

A very temporary alliance
Kill 10 Cheesed enemies while they are fighting for your side.
[Unlocks "Brainsplosion" upgrade card]

It's really not difficult to friendly fire enemies that don't attack you.

Brutality
Defeat 10 Bruisers
[Rewards: 20 PP]

I have found it effective to set them on fire, with the wand, and backstab them with daggers as they run for a snow drift.

High Ground
Defeat 5 Laser Sword kids
[Rewards: 20 PP]

Requires enemy to pick the "Laser Swords" Bullsh!t Card on the start of the run. They do high damage, so killing them with ranged weapons is recommended.

KinderGartner Slayer
Defeat 10 Swarmers
[Rewards: 20 PP]

Go after the small ones.

Nobody's Pincushion
Defeat 10 Rangers
[Rewards: 20 PP]

Archers are found usually high up on any platform, behind the lines. Rush 'em.

Only Cardboard
Defeat 10 Shield Bearers
[Rewards: 20 PP]

Ignore your ranged weapons, and try to get around their backs with a melee weapon.

Noodle Master
Defeat an enemy using a Pool Noodle
[Rewards: 20 PP]

Requires enemy to pick the "Noodled" Bullsh!t Card on the start of the run. When in effect, damage your enemies to low health with your ranged weapons and use the noodle to finish them off.

I'm currently cropping and uploading all the cards INDIVIDUALLY, and it's taking a long time. I hope to be done within a day.
But for now, here's the pictures for ants

Page 1
Page 1 maxed out

Page 2
Page 2 maxed out

Page 3
Page 3 maxed out

Page 4
Page 4 maxed out

Beefcake

Bitter Bounty

Endless Anger

Paragon

Last Stand

Big Boned

Second Wind

Pocket Pirate

Square Scrounger

============================================================================

Extended Aura

Opposing Aura

Reviving Aura

Pulsing Aura

============================================================================

Absolute Zero

Static Blast

Event Horizon

Gravity Boost

============================================================================

Bubble Bruiser

Bigger Bubble

Bitter Bubble

Rubber Bubble

Safety Bubble

Devastating Bubble

============================================================================

Wall Slam

Dead Stop

Rough Ride

Running Start

============================================================================

Butt Bash

Suck @ss

Gassy Glider

Lingerer

============================================================================

Blast Anchor

Leash Trained

Bug Zapper

Bombing Run

============================================================================

Last Blast

It's Pee

Flaming Balls

Defensive Perimeter

============================================================================

Sour Cheese

Brainsplosion

Cheesy Vampires

Cheesy Zombies

============================================================================

I'm Rubber...

Counter Strike

Shield Charge

Omni Block

============================================================================

Back Stab

Flying Daggers

Hemorrhage

Bad Blood

============================================================================

Shredder

Vortex

Hurry-cane

Thirsty Cleaver

Shockwave

Thunderstruck

============================================================================

Bounding Blaze

Three-way

Primed Volley

Leeching Flames

============================================================================

Ricochet

Multishot

Double Tap

Long Shot

Stinky Shaft

============================================================================

Blast Wave

Telsa Coil

Chain Lightning

Napalm

Fire Elemental

Molotov Cocktail

============================================================================

As of 18th of April, this exploit has been patched.
















In New Game+, Nichole will appear.
In return for adding additional difficulty mutators or a "contract." She offers either:

an Infernal Reward Cosmetic item, 100 Platinum Points, or 250 Dark Matter. At Random.

The catch though, favours you: You will always get the rewards whether you fail or win the run.
But, returning to Koopa Keep disqualifies you from the reward.


She spawns randomly in most maps, but is a permanent spawn in the beginning of Chapter 5.
These rewards can be farmed simply by Starting Chapter 5 on Hard, making a pact, and letting yourself die.















Panoclio has figured this out and made a guide before I have. After I noticed his guide, he deserves credit for being the first to figure this out to my knowledge.
https://steamproxy.net/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3205939758