I love Hard Rain. It's my favourite campaign in the entire game, with a unique backtracking mechanic, changing weather, great atmosphere and sounds, and plenty of Witches to crown. I also like Swamp Fever, since swamps are pretty cool and aren't somewhere you'd normally get to go in a zombie game.

However

A lot of people argue that these 2 maps are ruined due to the water slowdown. Moving slowly isn't fun you see, and you're forced to move slowly on these maps, therefore they aren't fun. Well what if I told you this wasn't true, or at least not to the degree that everyone makes it out to be? This guide shows you exactly where you need to go to avoid almost all the water on both Swamp Fever and Hard Rain, so you can minimise the amount of water slowdown you're forced to endure.

Let's break it down chapter by chapter.

Chapter 1

For the entirety of chapter 1, there's not a single bit of water you're forced to travel through. You won't even see any until the gator village. After exiting the barge, you just need to follow the wooden walkways all the way to the safe room.


Chapter 2

At the start of chapter 2, we're greeted with a problem.


The area right outside the safe room is flooded. Not to worry though, since there's an easy way around it.


Stand on the concrete just outside the saferoom and close the door. You can then jump onto the dry land just to the right of the saferoom, and walk all the way to the Pirogue.


At the Pirogue, you can do 2 quick jumps over the log and boat to avoid all the water.

After the Pirogue, veer off to the left. Just before the destroyed house, there'll be a narrow part of the water that you can easily jump over.


Continue until you reach the downed plane. Congratulations! You've reached the first part of the entire campaign where you're forced to touch water!


Standing at the edge of the dry land, jump towards the corpse pile and climb up onto the plane.

TIME SPENT IN WATER: 1.2 SECONDS

Once you beat the plane event, things start to get spicy...


You're forced to travel through the water once again, though you can save a little bit of time by jumping on part of the destroyed house on the right.

TIME SPENT IN WATER: 6.9 SECONDS

Our next obstacle is near the bathtub.


Head off to the left a bit and there'll be a bank thats just barely too far away to jump over to (though it could probably be done with a bunny hop).

TIME SPENT IN WATER: 0.3 SECONDS

Shortly after that we reach the outhouse, and what may be our greatest challenge yet.


If you have adrenaline, this is the time to use it (I managed to find 3 on the main path of chapter 2 alone). You'll need to run to the small bit of dry land to the right of the sunken house, then climb up onto the roof.

TIME SPENT IN WATER: 8.9 SECONDS

You'll be entering the water again right afterwards, and running towards this sunken car.


TIME SPENT IN WATER: 4.5 SECONDS

Note that if you use adrenaline for this section, you can run through the house and reach dry land with no slowdown, and spare yourself from an incredible 13.4 seconds of agony (that's more than half the water in the entire campaign avoided with a single syringe; talk about bang for your buck!)


Chapter 3

It might surprise you, but you can beat the entirety of chapter 3 without touching the water, just by sticking to the walkways and doing a few basic jumps over some smaller puddles. It's almost as if Valve designed the main intended path such that you didn't need to walk through the water... nah, that'd be stupid. They clearly wanted you to go out of your way to trudge through as many puddles as possible, that's why this campaign sucks!


Chapter 4

Head right outside the safe room to avoid the first section of water. After this, you won't encounter any more until the very end, where you'll need to get wet one last time before Virgil can rescue you.


TIME SPENT IN WATER: 2.2 SECONDS

TOTAL TIME SPENT IN WATER FOR CAMPAIGN: 24 SECONDS

TOTAL TIME SPENT IN WATER w/ 1 ADRENALINE: 10.6 SECONDS

Chapter 1

The titular rain hasn't set in yet, so you'll be able to walk all the way to the safe room without getting your Air Jordans damp.


Chapter 2

The rain should be just starting by now, but it's still nothing to worry about. You can avoid all of it very easily.


She might be crying, but it ain't cause of the water slowdown


Chapter 3

Exiting the Gas station, you'll be faced with the sugar field once again; this time, it's properly flooded.


Once you enter the field, head left a little bit, jumping over a small puddle and then continuing until the pipe is almost directly in front of you.


There'll be a small patch of water you need to cross to get to the pipe.


TIME SPENT IN WATER: 2.4 SECONDS

Now we reach a very interesting part of the campaign.


See this ladder? Notice how its bright yellow, and clearly designed to grab your attention? Notice how the area around the ladder is wet, but the area above it is dry? Valve was actually using a very subtle technique here called "good level design", and this ladder is their way of showing you that if you don't want to be slowed down by water, then you can actually avoid it by sticking to the main path.

"Holy Hard Rain Batman! It's as if the water slowdown was put in place specifically to encourage you to avoid the water and instead stay on the main path!"

You're finally catching on! If you climb this ladder, you can follow the dry path right up until the last building before the safe room, and avoid 95% of the water in the chapter.

Once we reach that last building, head to the right most window on the second floor. You should see a truck, towing a light up construction sign.


Jump down onto the truck and walk across the back of the sign. You can then make a small jump from the sign to just before the window to the right of the safe room, then walk the final short distance.

TIME SPENT IN WATER: 1.1 SECONDS


You can't jump on the trash bags to avoid this final stretch of water, so you'll need to walk through it.

TIME SPENT IN WATER: 3 SECONDS


Chapter 4

This is the most infamous chapter, and for good reason. You have to walk back across the now flooded town, but the second half of this walk is usually done via a suboptimal route that exposes you to way more water than necessary! There's a much better way, which is as follows:


Jump to the dirt outside the safe room, then across to the ladder.


Run along the roofs of the houses until you reach the white truck (it'll usually have propane in the back). Jump down onto it, then hop across the wood pallets and follow the small strip of dry road off to the right.


Climb on top of this blue truck. You'll be slowed very briefly by the water.

TIME SPENT IN WATER: 0.1 SECONDS


Now jump onto this fence. Follow it straight, then to the right.


You'll reach the treehouse near the yard sale. You can actually jump over to the very thin ledge around the outside of the treehouse. Use this to get up there.


From the treehouse, you can jump down onto the skip bin.


At this point, most people would probably continue walking straight ahead towards the small white houses, then jump off and walk in between the 2 double story homes towards the playground.

But there's a better way...


Immediately after the skip bin, look left. There'll be a white car parked in front of the house opposite you, and just to the left of that is a ladder. You may not have noticed this during chapter 1 since it's a bit hidden and you had no reason to go up there anyway. On a lot of regular chapter 4 play-throughs, the storm can obscure the ladder and it's easy to miss.

Jump off the porch and head over towards the ladder. This is the longest single section of the map where you're forced to walk through water, but it might be worth saving your adrenaline for the next bit.

TIME SPENT IN WATER: 4.1 SECONDS

Once you climb the ladder, you can walk across the roofs all the way to the second floor of the big house, skipping some large sections of water!


On the balcony of the second floor, jump out towards the collapsed fence near the playground. Note that if you've got adrenaline, now is the time to use it, since you'll skip several small puddles and reach the safe room.

TIME SPENT IN WATER: 0.1 SECONDS


Cross the playground and you'll see a fire hydrant. To the right of the fire hydrant is a set of stairs; this is your next goal.

TIME SPENT IN WATER: 3.2 SECONDS


From the stairs, jump over towards the truck wreck and climb up.

TIME SPENT IN WATER: 2.3 SECONDS


Then jump to the safe room.

TIME SPENT IN WATER: 0.1 SECONDS

Note that if you used adrenaline, you can simply run straight from the second floor balcony to the safe room, saving a total of 5.7 seconds of water slowdown. Not bad.


Chapter 5

You don't have far to go, so it's very straightforward.


From the collapsed fence, jump towards the boxes near the truck.

TIME SPENT IN WATER: 0.2 SECONDS


Then head over to the white pickup truck, and jump across to the ladder to your left.

TIME SPENT IN WATER: 3.6 SECONDS


Once Virgil arrives, hop down onto the truck and head towards the boat.

TIME SPENT IN WATER: 1.9 SECONDS

TOTAL TIME SPENT IN WATER FOR CAMPAIGN: 22.1 SECONDS

TOTAL TIME SPENT IN WATER w/ 1 ADRENALINE: 16.4 SECONDS

So, what have we learnt today?

- Assuming a modest time of 25 minutes to complete each campaign, water slowdown will only impact you for roughly 1.5% of it. This gets cut in half to 0.7% if you use a single adrenaline. If you feel the need to complain about being slowed down for less than 1% of the campaign, you're probably a bit of a ♥♥♥♥♥.
- These routes were not hard to find. I'm an idiot, and the only one that took me more than 5 seconds to work out was the ladder in Hard Rain chapter 4. If you can't understand that sticking to the main path and walkways will help you avoid water... then god help you.
- Many people claim that beating these maps requires you to stock up on loads of adrenaline. These people are full of ♥♥♥♥. Ignoring the fact that you'll almost certainly find enough adrenaline for everybody to use it at least once, the time you spend in the water is still insignificant when you don't use it. In the worst case scenario, 1 syringe is all you need to avoid the worst of it.


BONUS FACT

- The Parish has 15.6 seconds of entirely unavoidable water in chapter 3, in an area that's pitch black, has no cover, and starts and ends with super tight chokepoints and pseudo one-ways, yet the campaign remains as a fan favourite. There is no reason to hate Swamp Fever and Hard Rain specifically for the water slowdown.