Commander, I've detected an alien ship that has recently crashed near a long-since abandoned settlement. We need to investigate the area and find out if there are any survivors.

I recognise this place. My mother used to take me here when I was much younger. I believe it was called Raspberry Castle. Aptly named because within the large cave system below grows tens of thousands of large Cave Raspberries! Oh how I used to frolic amongst them, euphorically taking in their glorious sweet smell!

..Or maybe it was cave mushrooms.

Now that I think of it, it probably wasn't my mother either. It could well have been my commanding officer at the time. Easy mistake to make though; they both were very overbearing with their demands, and both ludicrously inadequate at growing their own mustache - despite their best efforts.

I'm picking up something from below... Aliens! They must have taken refuge down there after their ship crashed. If there were raspberries down there, there certainly wont be any more. Those evil ba****ds.

We can't let any of them escape the tunnels alive. I'm activating the local grid now. Let's make sure we mop this sorry lot up.