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Possible solution: Throw Demands or Extortions at those far away people FIRST. They will, obviously, refuse them - what am I going to do, march halfway across the map? Challenge them to a duel with a preator I don't have?
Well, what I'm going to do is declare a vendetta on them for the absolute minimum prestige bid, for the absolute maximum length of turns. You can't perform diplomacy with somebody while in a state of vendetta, so now they can't bully me with preator duels.
There are failure scenarios, of course, like being open to ritual attacks. But it's still worth keeping in mind.
I'm going to share this guide with my friends so the game doesn't scare them away anymore.
If you write an advanced guide, you should definitely put that in.
Knowing when to make demands and insults and when to accept or reject them is not just about military strength.
Remember that if I accept your insult you cannot make another for several turns - and without a vendetta you cannot attack me. All for the cost of a little bit of tribute and maybe a small temporary loss of prestige?
You can use diplomacy to buy time...