The first thing you should do as a tourist on a tribal island is mockingly imitate their culture. In this case, teabag on the spot.

Barge your way into the game of "limbo" uninvited and ruin it for everyone. They're doing it wrong anyway and YOU are an expert at this game despite having never played it before. You saw it on TV once though and it looked easy.

I wonder what the import policy is on endangered turtles. Do I even need to declare it? Eh, should be fine if I stuff it in my carry-on.

I'm sure the locals won't mind me taking the only turtle on the island.

What's that funny-looking mountain over there?

Oh dear this doesn't look good.

YOU THERE!! PUSH THIS BOAT OUT SO I CAN LEAVE THIS RETCHED ISLAND!!!