Deep Rock Galactic

Deep Rock Galactic

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Proof that the Rival Company is run by those BLOODY ELVES
Av Bub177
You've seen 'em, havn't you. Those stupid tin cans flying around the caves with their 'eco-friendly' lasers. It's time DRG tracked down the source of that blasted company, and I - Engi - am here to help. begins pulling out a massive drawing board from nowhere
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"Wait... there's Elves out there?!"
For those of you who don't live under rocks and stones, you should listen to your fellow greybeards, and then you might learn that they have said multiple times casually comparing you to elf. Also, there was that time that THOUSANDS OF THOSE LEAF-LOVING MIDGETS FLOODED THE CAVES.

Now that I have scientifically proven that elves exist, lets move on.
Those flying pieces of aesthetically pleasing scrap are eco-friendly!
Whenever you fight those stupid droids, you always have to deal with that dumb 'VRRRRRRRRRR' noise and lasers; both of which don't leave an inch of manly waste behind!

Also, while they have prospecting faculties and other junk, we've never seen them mine an inch of rock for stones! I mean, if you're going into a cave, WHY THE HELL WOULDN'T YOU MINE IT. THE ONLY PURPOSE OF CAVES ARE TO BE MINED, AND IT SEEMS THAT'S SOMETHING THAT CAN'T BE UNDERSTOOD BY THOSE SHRIMPY FU- er, sorry it seems i went on another rant. clears throat
Those grass-touching Leaf-Lovers befriended the damned BUGS
Whenever I'm just minding my business starting up Hacksey, THOSE BLOODY BUGS SHOW UP TO DESTROY OUR EQUIPMENT WHILE NOT LAYING A CLAW ON THE SCRAP PILE OF A PROSPECTING FACILITY TWO FEET AWAY FROM US.
I bet they're just here to protest mining!
Think about it, they bring dumb 'environmentally friendly' tech, befriend the bugs, and only gather information from the caves! They're only here to try and 'protect Hoxxes' from us!
There ya have it.
I proved that those treehugger WIMPS would be the only ones who would try something as dumb as 'saving the wildlife' whatever that means. Now we will just have to wait for mission control to convince upper management to let us at em.

Thank you for listening, Rock and Stone!
39 kommentarer
Sweg_Gentleman 31 aug @ 15:46 
One issue: they DO extract minerals and DO leave scrap. Prospector drones carry local valuables that drop when you destroy them and every kind of turret leaves its base when destroyed. Thoughts?
you 31 maj @ 16:28 
ELVES MUST DIE
gooman 12 3 mar @ 6:11 
KILL THE POINTY - EARED LEAF LOVERS!
RedRain3333 25 okt, 2023 @ 18:57 
KILL THE ELVES
SwanofTrumpeter 10 sep, 2023 @ 19:02 
well this is worthy debate with my theory:

The Robot Rebellion cosmetic dlc isn't just window dressing.

The "rival tech" is really the rogue machines trying to get info on Hoxxes so they can better screw with us. Why else would the rival tech be so different from our own, and never once do we see any organic humanoid types drilling in to stop us despite us repeatedly busting up the rivals' caretakers?

I'm also willing to bet they created the rockpox as part of their plans to screw over DRG, and that the data in the data vaults isn't to attract rival companies, but to better understand Hoxxes and it's wildlife and thereby make the rockpox even more dangerous.

New rockpox variants did show up well into our many contagion spike eliminations mind you.

Also if they're not robots why has there been no news of any lawsuits against DRG or military attacks on the DRG space rigs to stop us from stealing all the rivals' data?
ravioli 2 aug, 2023 @ 11:33 
Where is the high elves this is only wood elves. this must mean there are more elves approaching
Hot Lootbugs nearby 23 jul, 2023 @ 17:27 
anyone else read this in engi's voice?
PDSkids 22 jul, 2023 @ 12:51 
KILL THE ELVES! SLAY THOSE LEGOLAS WANNA BEES
SrirachaSkywalker 29 jun, 2023 @ 5:26 
Those bloody leaf lovers, why do we even have a beer especially for them in the Abyss Bar? Maybe Managment has been corrupted by their lies, would explain the general lack of concern for whether or not we die down in the caves.
Yum_berryz 5 jun, 2023 @ 12:41 
HUNT DOWN THE ELVES WHO HELPED HURT KARL