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Proof that the Rival Company is run by those BLOODY ELVES

By Bub177

You've seen 'em, havn't you. Those stupid tin cans flying around the caves with their 'eco-friendly' lasers. It's time DRG tracked down the source of that blasted company, and I - Engi - am here to help. begins pulling out a massive drawing board from nowhere

Award

Created by

Bub177
Offline

Languages: English

Posted

Updated

18 Jan, 2023 @ 2:52pm

26 Jan, 2023 @ 9:48am

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Guide Index

Overview

"Wait... there's Elves out there?!"

Those flying pieces of aesthetically pleasing scrap are eco-friendly!

Those grass-touching Leaf-Lovers befriended the damned BUGS

I bet they're just here to protest mining!

There ya have it.

Comments

"Wait... there's Elves out there?!"

For those of you who don't live under rocks and stones, you should listen to your fellow greybeards, and then you might learn that they have said multiple times casually comparing you to elf. Also, there was that time that THOUSANDS OF THOSE LEAF-LOVING MIDGETS FLOODED THE CAVES.

Now that I have scientifically proven that elves exist, lets move on.

Those flying pieces of aesthetically pleasing scrap are eco-friendly!

Whenever you fight those stupid droids, you always have to deal with that dumb 'VRRRRRRRRRR' noise and lasers; both of which don't leave an inch of manly waste behind!

Also, while they have prospecting faculties and other junk, we've never seen them mine an inch of rock for stones! I mean, if you're going into a cave, WHY THE HELL WOULDN'T YOU MINE IT. THE ONLY PURPOSE OF CAVES ARE TO BE MINED, AND IT SEEMS THAT'S SOMETHING THAT CAN'T BE UNDERSTOOD BY THOSE SHRIMPY FU- er, sorry it seems i went on another rant. clears throat

Those grass-touching Leaf-Lovers befriended the damned BUGS

Whenever I'm just minding my business starting up Hacksey, THOSE BLOODY BUGS SHOW UP TO DESTROY OUR EQUIPMENT WHILE NOT LAYING A CLAW ON THE SCRAP PILE OF A PROSPECTING FACILITY TWO FEET AWAY FROM US.

I bet they're just here to protest mining!

Think about it, they bring dumb 'environmentally friendly' tech, befriend the bugs, and only gather information from the caves! They're only here to try and 'protect Hoxxes' from us!

There ya have it.

I proved that those treehugger WIMPS would be the only ones who would try something as dumb as 'saving the wildlife' whatever that means. Now we will just have to wait for mission control to convince upper management to let us at em.

Thank you for listening, Rock and Stone!

38 Comments

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you 31 May @ 4:28pm

ELVES MUST DIE

gooman 12 3 Mar @ 6:11am

KILL THE POINTY - EARED LEAF LOVERS!

RedRain3333 25 Oct, 2023 @ 6:57pm

KILL THE ELVES

SwanofTrumpeter 10 Sep, 2023 @ 7:02pm

well this is worthy debate with my theory:

The Robot Rebellion cosmetic dlc isn't just window dressing.

The "rival tech" is really the rogue machines trying to get info on Hoxxes so they can better screw with us. Why else would the rival tech be so different from our own, and never once do we see any organic humanoid types drilling in to stop us despite us repeatedly busting up the rivals' caretakers?

I'm also willing to bet they created the rockpox as part of their plans to screw over DRG, and that the data in the data vaults isn't to attract rival companies, but to better understand Hoxxes and it's wildlife and thereby make the rockpox even more dangerous.

New rockpox variants did show up well into our many contagion spike eliminations mind you.

Also if they're not robots why has there been no news of any lawsuits against DRG or military attacks on the DRG space rigs to stop us from stealing all the rivals' data?

ravioli 2 Aug, 2023 @ 11:33am

Where is the high elves this is only wood elves. this must mean there are more elves approaching

Hot Lootbugs nearby 23 Jul, 2023 @ 5:27pm

anyone else read this in engi's voice?

PDSkids 22 Jul, 2023 @ 12:51pm

KILL THE ELVES! SLAY THOSE LEGOLAS WANNA BEES

SrirachaSkywalker 29 Jun, 2023 @ 5:26am

Those bloody leaf lovers, why do we even have a beer especially for them in the Abyss Bar? Maybe Managment has been corrupted by their lies, would explain the general lack of concern for whether or not we die down in the caves.

Yum_berryz 5 Jun, 2023 @ 12:41pm

HUNT DOWN THE ELVES WHO HELPED HURT KARL

Chicken 1 Apr, 2023 @ 9:34am

I say we track down those BLOODY ELVES and teach them a lesson they wont forget!

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