Hello, Burzzache Here, today we're gonna be looking at the process of preparing a delicious plate of Milanesas, with various garnish options, but first...

Milanesas consist, normaly, in a steak, which is fried or baked, depends on your likings.
By extension, a Milanesa is any slice of a battered ingredient and cooked similarly, an so, there are pork Milanesas, fish filet Milanesas, soy Milanesas, eggplant, mozzarella an so on.

It can be eaten in a plate, (typicaly accompanied by salad, mashed potatoes, or fries) or in the form of a sandwich, the so called «Sanguchito de Milanesa»

It's name comes from the city of Milán, Italy, and it's inspired by the cotoletta alla milanese

So, now that you know what a Milanesa is, you are going to learn the ingredients that i normaly use in the cooking of this delicacy.

• A steak of your liking (it can be cow meat, chicken, whatever)
  
• 1 tablespoon of mustard
  
• 2 Eggs
  
• 1 tablespoon of salt (depends on your liking)
  
• 1 tablespoon of garlic and parsley
  
• A mug of milk
  
• 1 handful of pizza seasoning (Oregano and Pepper)
  
• a bag Bread Crumbs
  
• Mozarella.
  
• Tomato puree.
  
• A couple of ham slices.

This list may not be precise, because I am, mostly, a moron who doesn't take consideration on proper amounts of seasoning in the conventional way of measuring, and rather take my own measures by eye and using the lids of the flasks in which i store my seasonings to do so... and so, with that out of the way, i can assure you that this exact preparation gave me days to live and the taste of the loving arms of a woman (not only my mother nor my grand mother, RIP)

By this point, you are now enlightened in the requirements to fabricate your own Milanesa, but what you don't know yet is how to use them.

I will now reveal to you how it's done.
Note: This is assuming that you've already cut out the fat off the stakes

• Step 1. The Concoction
  The first step is to prepare a mix to bathe your steaks so the bread crumbs can easily adhere to the steak, for this, you fristly need to:
  
  • Take both of your (chicken) eggs and crack them, dropping both the yolks and the egg whites in.
    
  • Add the seasonings
    
  • Pour in the milk
  Now, what you want to do is stir the mix, aggresively, like you mean it. Imagine this is the remains of what once was the person you hated the most, you would want his brains to be unrecogniceable so you can serve them to his former relatives in the promise of a delicious soup. Yes, thats the feeling i want.
  After that, you can let your steaks lay in the mix like they dont have anything to worry about, for like 10 minutes on your fridge.
  
  
• Step 2. The Crumbenning
  Now that your stakes are bathed in this mixture of flavory things, take them out (of the fridge) and place the bowl with the stakes on your left, the breadcrumbs on the middle, and a plate or whatever to your right, in which you will be placing your battered milangas.
  
  • With one hand take 1 (one) steak, place it over the breacrumbs
    
  • With the otherhand, take a handful of crumbs
    
  • Cover the steak with them
    
  • Lightly spank them, until you see they cant hadle any more crumbs
    
  • With the same hand, place them over the plate.
  
  
• Step 3. The Oil Bathe
  So, your steaks are now Milanesas, i hope, you are now one step further in the path of divine pardon. You should be now wondering what to do with them, so you are now to look for a bottle of oil, and a container for it.
  Once you've gathered both, turn on the heat, and carefully place one Milanga in.
  Wait for it to get a darker, brown-ish color, and with the help of a pair of cooking tweezers, roll it over and place it again on the oil.
  If you are happy with the tone of your Milanga, take a plate or a bowl or anything really and place some paper strips to remove any excess of oil from the Milanga.
  
  
• Step 4. Thy Cheese consumed
  Finally, pour some tomato puree over the Milanga, lay a slice of ham over it, and then the cheese.
  Send it to the oven and wait whilst comteplating where your decisions have taken you in this life. Were they really worth? Did you seriously need to do that? Now look where all of this has let us. Are you happy? Why don't you get back in control of your own life again and do something of it?
  Did you remember to prepare the garnish? ARE YOU REALLY THIS DUMB?
  
  

Ok, it's fine, don't be so harsh on yourself...
You are now aware of the process, but do you feel that you know how to accompany a good Milanesa?

There are multiple options for you to pick that can succesfully be eaten alongside a Milanesa, in this God forsaken earth, the most common being french fries. Let us take a look...

• French Fries. 9/10, maybe too much fried stuff.
  
• Rice 9.5/10, don't recommend to consume with cheese.
  
• Pasta 9.5/10, same as above.
  
• Mashed potatoes 8.5/10, not a big fan but respect.
  
• Baked Potatoes 10/10, perfect.
  
• Your own thougts and feelings of isolation and loneliness 5.5/10.
  
• Hurful Memories of your past 5/10.
  
• The company of a human being who cares at least a bit about you 11/10.

Oh great milanesas, deities of the crisp and golden, how thy savory succulence doth bring joy to the hearts of thy worshippers. Thy devout followers do proclaim thy majesty and partake in thy holy offerings with the utmost reverence. From the grilling of the sacred beef, to the pounding and breading with the holiest of crumbs, the creation of thy divine form is a sacrament. And when thy crisp exterior doth meet the teeth of the faithful, a chorus of praise doth fill the air. Hail the milanesas, for they are the true gods of sustenance.