War Thunder

War Thunder

193 ratings
How Actually To Have Fun
By geozapawalk
This 100% accurate 5-star michelin guide will help you (a depressed hairless ape) to be like me (a happy hairless ape)
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First Step
Alright, so, first things first, forget about grinding - we don't need none'that. This game is no longer about making the unfathomably long trek towards top-tier planes, boats, and tanks. Your only goal now is to find true happiness playing this game.

To sum it up,
ANYTHING BELOW SECOND TIER IS BIG NO-NO BAD-BAD


Second Step
Forget about planes, focus on tanks

Playing air battles can be challenging, and to have fun flying planes, you need to master the art of aerial combat - this is why you should never play in planes. Doing so will only lead to frustration, and frustration will lead to unhappiness.

Third Step
DO NOT PLAY ANY OF THESE FOLLOWING COUNTRIES:
  • Japan
  • Italy
  • France
  • Isreal
Doing so will only cause pain and suffering.

As much as I personally enjoy playing Japan, it takes time to master, which will only drain you of your dwindling serotonin

Fourth Step
To put it simply,

Speed + Gun = Tons-o-Fun
(I'm not sorry)

If it doesn't go more than 55km/h (34mph in freedom units) and has less than 70mm of penetration, then it's not worth playing

The only exception for this is the M2A2 light tank.

Also, no fixed turrets, fixed turrets will only lead to further sadness

Step Five - Final Step
That's all you really need to know. Before you go, do take this very useful hint along with you:

USE YOUR ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ TACTICAL MAP

It's so simple; just hold down M and you can map out routes to go along where you won't get one-shot in three seconds, places where you can tactically maneuver yourself to flank the enemy, places where you can sit around and wait for the perfect time to start blastin' - plus, you can mark areas where you find enemies to help your teammates get around, AND you can even tell where your teammates are and whether or not they need help so you can flank around and shoot the enemy in the ass while they're zoned in on trying to kill your teammate.

With speedy tanks, the tatical map (as well as the minimap - found in-game in the bottom-right corner of your screen) is your lifeline, the only thing keeping you alive (well, besides your speed).

Use it right, and you will become a truly unstoppable force of nature.

If you follow these steps right, you will be able to find true joy and happiness in this godforsaken-Russian-made-hell of a game.
116 Comments
geozapawalk  [author] 6 Jun, 2023 @ 5:36pm 
Slava Ukraine, my good Sir, Slava Ukraine
maximmmmichael3 6 Jun, 2023 @ 9:05am 
Probably because people dont want you to bring politics in the game where they try to rest
maximmmmichael3 6 Jun, 2023 @ 9:04am 
Ukraine flag actually makes you a target for entire enemy team. For some reason all tanks with ukrainian flags i see get destroyed first
DaYemenball 12 Feb, 2023 @ 12:35pm 
Also, use decal that shows friendliness. No swastika, no d**k, no nothing. just nice decals that look cool. Also, if your in a Russian modern tank, plaster a Ukraine flag as big as possible. For good measure, use 2 lined up perfectly. This makes sure you don't get bullied for Russian tank that is used to kill Ukraine. The controversy is for life, not for in a fun game.
AverageHuman :3 22 Dec, 2022 @ 9:08am 
duck you freebird and airquaft go brrrrrr
geozapawalk  [author] 22 Dec, 2022 @ 8:18am 
Also, I know I promised a while back that I'd make two other versions of the guide - one for Naval, and the other for Air - and I promise I'll get to it, I've just been bogged down with work and a lack of ambition to make any new guides. I'll probably get to it in the new year, so sit tight! ;)
geozapawalk  [author] 22 Dec, 2022 @ 8:18am 
Shrewface I totally agree, I'm almost at Rank V in Jap fighter planes myself (I've only been playing for a couple years and have not spent a single dime on this game... mostly because I'm broke...) and I personally really enjoy Air AB/RB. Personally, I hate War Thunder's grind - the number of hours you have to pool into the game to get just about any new vehicle is downright stupid, especially without paying for premium days/vehicles. For me, I try to leave the grind as an afterthought, I personally find playing the game in any mode very enjoyable, (RIP Naval battles o7) and while getting new vehicles is very rewarding, I honestly just really like the mind-numbing fun the game provides.

To reiterate, I'm not saying anything against Air or Naval battles, this guide isn't the only way to have fun, it's just one of the more enjoyable ways to play the game while on two brain cells that I've found. Do whatever you find most fun
geozapawalk  [author] 22 Dec, 2022 @ 7:54am 
killedyouhaha this comment section does not condone the usage of aerial vehicles in battles, unless by your own admission of being a masochist and finding such acts pleasing to take up.
killedyouhaha 22 Dec, 2022 @ 6:35am 
i will do everything exept not fly planes
HappyPineApple64 11 Nov, 2022 @ 4:03pm 
forgot the part where you uninstal