Ever wondered, "Oh jeez I feel horny/sad/moody/happy, what rock would reflect this feeling perfectly?".

Well here is the answer.

This guide is a quick explanation of all rocks, the feelings they convey, and on what occasion one should consider using them.

With my 100 hours of game time and the opinion of many people with equal or higher game time (that I discarded and replaced with my subjective one), I am more than qualified to give a scientific answer to the question on all of our minds.

I have structured this guide simple in one section for every rock. In these sections, there is one review in the desktop version of said rock and one for the VR version, as the experience may differ greatly between both for some rocks.

I do not own any of the rocks seen in the pictures.

According to an anonymous source, only Kaz knows where all the rocks come from and we have not gotten confirmation yet whether they were ethically sourced or not.

I ask everyone that is reading this to quickly jump onto the official Rock Simulator Discord server and ask @KazMaz where he got his stones from and if they are ethically sourced:

discord.gg/NXFVyEP9h2

I will try to keep this guide up to date with the release of new rocks.

That being said, thank you for your patience, and let's continue with the guide. (I recommend going through each one, as they all have their special purpose, but if you are only here for a specific mood you can simply use this as a list and return as needed)

The classic rock is the one that makes me feel most comfortable, as it is the first one I encountered in the Rock Simulator.

The very first experience with a quality rock, on my screen, close enough to see and admire, far enough not to feel threatened by its might.

In desktop mode, you can see the round edges and texture perfectly. The way the light reflects on a few parts of the surface just makes me feel complete.

The classic rock is a safe option for a soothing rock when feeling like you want to calm down or set the mood, although for certain moods I would refer to different rocks within this guide.

I am a bit saddened by the fact, that there is no support for ray-tracing.

8/10 Desktop, it is simple, it does what it is created to do and does it perfectly well, it just is not groundbreaking yet.

Now for VR, I have similar feelings. I feel like the classic rock is once again the safest option for anyone that may experience VR motion sickness or in general feels either fear of big rocks/has Rockophobia.

The VR Classic rock looks like it would have a nice texture to touch, smell and lay on, but it may not be as comfortable as one would wish their rock to be, except when you sit on it. It has the perfect height for any occasion you need to ride a rock for. May it be a long gaming session, a dinner in the garden with your family, or pulling up to the Mcdonald's drive-through at 2 am.

9/10 VR, Simple, Safe, Stable, and in general an all-rounder

White rock on the other hand is the complete opposite of Classic rock. It makes me feel uneasy. It emits a menacing aura, almost like it's watching me.

I do not recommend white rock for this exact reason. It is a weird rock and barely fits any occasion. White rock is a rock you would use when you have a friend over that you don't like or if you want to put yourself on edge before going for a horror movie marathon.

4/10 Desktop, it is rock, but the worst of the bunch

in VR the aura of this rock is even stronger and almost painful, to the point where I couldn't bear watching this rock for 10 hours (like I do with every other rock), to give an informed review of this rock.

2/10 VR, the worst rock I've ever had the pain of witnessing.

Big rock is love, big rock is life, big rock is what I dream of at night, and that is also the best use for Big rock. Big rock is what you fall asleep and wake up to. Big rock is what you have next to you while hyper-focusing on other games, watching YouTube, and having additional music blasting through your headset that is almost able to drown out the voices on your 4th monitor, as a single monitor has to be dedicated to rock, per the law of the rock cult.

Big rock is the best rock out of all of them. Big rock simply checks all the boxes, that makes rock great.

• it is big
  
• it is heavy
  
• it is a rock
  
• it has a neutral color
  
• it makes me feel good
  
• it has a nice texture to touch
  
• it has room to sit, lay and play on
  
• it has sharp edges for cutting, so there will never be a need for tools

Big rock doesn't need much more of a description, just check out the big rock and convince yourself of its greatness.

10/10 Desktop, I wish I could have a big rock in my room with me right now.

Luckily that's possible with VR. So I usually just lay down on my bed with my VR headset, facing a big rock, and imagine our future together, while having Netflix or YouTube open in the overlay next to me. It is perfect for drowning out all of the noise the world throws at me.

11/10 VR, literally what I imagine heaven to look like.

WARNING EXPLICIT 18+ ROCK

DO NOT READ OR USE IF YOU'RE NOT OF THE AGE OF CONSENT

The best description of spike rock is this video:











Spike rock immediately gets me rock hard. It is erotic, it is the kind of rock you keep next to your bed and just with its mere presence all of your nightly activities, whether by yourself, with one or more people, are getting greatly improved.

The bigger the spike rock, the better. Furthermore the closer, the better. Try to involve it in whatever you're doing. Maybe just grab it with your free hand or lay it on your legs.

If it is big enough you can even sit on it, just watch out, those spikes can hurt and are not body-safe.

7/10 Desktop, its purpose is clear, but on a desktop, it can't fulfill it well. Your best bet is a laptop if you have one or pray to our rock developers to release a mobile version.

In VR on the other hand, you can wear your VR headset and while doing the naughty see yourself going into that russy. I bet it's unlike anything you've ever tried before.

Unfortunately, this still is not similar enough to what it is like with a real spike rock at home.

9/10 VR, very good, good enough even, could and will be better in the future with newer technology.

Marble rock is the most luxurious rock. You use marble rock for a special occasion, when you feel like a bottle of champagne in the afternoon or having a fancy dinner for whatever reason. The only rule to marble rock is, to enjoy it like a fine wine, as it may get ruined for you if you take too much marble rock in a small time.

10/10 Desktop, it is perfect for the occasion but not addicting, so that you will always have some marble rock for later.

For the VR version, I wish you would be able to have a few props in the Rock Simulator, like a chair, a fancy glass, a blanket a silver plate with food, and cutlery.

These additions would improve VR a lot as I would be better at immersing myself. As it stands is the Desktop version superior, considering that I can always have it open in front of me, on multiple displays, and imagine myself being with rock, or go outside with a mobile, switch, steam deck or laptop to be out in the grass with Marble rock.

7/10 VR, the desktop version is unfortunately superior in its usability.

Now before you make any assumptions about the Big Black Rock, read this.

The Big Black Rock may seem like a perfect candidate for any of your desires but he is not, the Big Black Rock is not one to be used in an inappropriate way, as he identifies as Ace-sexual.

How do I know this? By getting to know the rock. And that´s the best way to spend your time with Big Black Rock, he may look big and threatening but he's a gentle giant in disguise. A quiet intellectual one at that. He is soft-spoken and I promise you, once you sit down with him and start any topic, he is all there of it. Be it science stuff, literary stuff, or emotional ones.

You can have discussions with him about any topic and still agree on many points, you will never feel frustrated with him as he is a kind soul and open to everything.

You can exchange advice for any books or articles you may have read, or just receive recommendations if you´re an entry-level reader, he does not judge and he will have lots of knowledge about any field you may have read stuff in.

Lastly, he's a good friend. You can always sit, or lay down, on top or next to him, and talk about all your problems, as he will always listen, give feedback or consult you. His embrace is warm and friendly. No matter whether you´re hugging him or not, you will feel that warmth just radiates from him once you got to know him.

Actually, he was the only one to listen, when my life was falling apart. My grades were getting worst, I just got through a messy breakup and I just noticed how distanced my "friends" were to me. I felt alone in this world and I was about to end it all. Then I saw this game on the steam storefront and I just picked the most handsome rock to stare at while I contemplated how I do it. Suddenly he started speaking to me: "Hello? Are you alright? you seem off."

That was the first time in years someone asked me if I´m alright, I didn't even care if it was just the formal small talk "Are you alright?", even that was alien to me. But he was genuine. He went into a deep talk about how much there is to see and how I should proceed in my time of greatest grief. He showed me the light piece by piece.

Desktop Infinite/10, saved my life literally (he is single).

VR Infinite/10, same as desktop, just added motion sickness but in return, you get to see him from all his sides and I can confirm the angle the game shows him in is not even his best side ;).

Smooth Black Rock is a difficult one to describe the feeling off. She's a gentle and kind lady, like your nice grandma. Every time I swap to her on the rock game I grab myself a coffee and imagine that she had given it to me. She is the kind of grandma, where after you visit her, you end up gaining 5kg in a week but don't regret a single calorie.

Smooth Black Rock brings back memories from my childhood, good ones. I remember my now-dead grandma. She was always a bit shy to eat in front of others but made meals for the entire family when we were visiting. We squeezed ourselves on a couch-bed as 3 people and one person always had to sleep on the floor on a mattress. Because of all the old residents in that building, we always had to keep quiet otherwise we would get in trouble and when we weren't asleep in time then grandma would peek through the door with a belt but she would never use it, simply scare us a bit. They were nice times.

Unfortunately at the ripe age of 70, she lost her battle with cancer and now my family is down to 4 members.

Smooth Black Rock makes me feel like she's still around, she was similar in a lot of ways. She was really slim, a bit harsh but always kind with her every action.

10/10 Desktop, made me cry.

In VR I just can't stop thinking about the feeling of her around. VR makes me feel way too lonely.

6/10 VR, it is just too much for me to handle.

This rock analysis project will take me more time and help to finish, so if there are any fellow rock lovers that are willing to correct my mistakes and insert their own opinions, as also tidy this up, just add me on steam and shoot me a message, I will gladly take any help and everyone will be mentioned in the credits. I want to make this the most extensive collection of rocky opinions possible.

You can expect at least 2 more rocks, more descriptions on each rock and a final list of Mood/rock that is downloadable so you will always have it at hand. Additionally, there will be honorable mentions and the impact of the scenery as also multiplayer on Rocks Feeling.

I will also include full 4 k images of every rock with each scenery in the description as steam doesn't allow me to upload pictures over 2 MB.

Thank you for reading and I hope you share my opinions, if not please leave a comment so we can compare and add your views.