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How to choose and not play a nation in Victoria II

By Ȼ₭ | Mephibosheth

Want to become a pro at browsing the countries you can play as, and then closing the game after you pick Prussia for the 500th time? This is the guide for you.

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Created by

Ȼ₭ | Mephibosheth
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Category: Gameplay Basics, Walkthroughs

Languages: English

Posted

Updated

31 May, 2022 @ 2:35pm

1 Jun, 2022 @ 2:34pm

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Guide Index

Overview

Stare at the country selection screen for at least 15 minutes

Select Prussia for the 500th time

Do all the pre-game set up crap again before unpausing.

Micro-manage and prepare to re-arrange your army units, moving them to the same places.

Unpause the game after 10 minutes

Cope.

Comments

Stare at the country selection screen for at least 15 minutes

Pretty simple. You've done this before, you've done it for hours across your life. You've done it 499 times. You know you'll pick Prussia again. Why do you do this to yourself?

Select Prussia for the 500th time

I told you. You told you. You knew you would. You dread the reality of what will happen next. You know you'll set up your taxes and budget. You know you'll set up your clergymen or intellectuals (you're playing modded, probably HPM or HFM). You even know which provinces you'll put them in. Its muscle memory by now. Dread washes over you.

Do all the pre-game set up crap again before unpausing.

Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why.

Micro-manage and prepare to re-arrange your army units, moving them to the same places.

Yes, you'll spread them out in the same spots you've decided 450 games ago. Yes, you'll fix the non-Hussars to be Hussars, and you'll make sure everyone has that perfect ratio of artillery. You know you won't even last until the units pop up.

Unpause the game after 10 minutes

So you've done your budgeting, your diplomatic stuff, your spheres, you micromanaged your armies (this time, good job for lasting this far!), but now it's time to start not playing.
Press the space bar.
Now, you feel the depression wash over you. It's January 3rd, 1836 and some random crappy country refuses to pay you it's loans. You sigh. You want to cry. You alt-f4 the game.
You now are ready to go back to looking back at your Steam Library, and eventually settle with YouTube.

Cope.

You'll do it again in a few weeks.

58 Comments

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HcNoStylez 7 Jul @ 2:29am

thanks for the netherlands recommendation. time to think about playing it and never actually do it.

fat engie_here 19 Jun @ 4:19am

btw can recomend netherlands actually! quite interesting, because you have interesting diplomacy, quite developed core and you can play a lot in colonies, in asia, in africa, in south america, etc. Its quite easy to be in top3-top5 even before the 20th century starts.

Luigi_ 22 Mar @ 8:36pm

not pictured: the 2-3 week victoria phase where you go hard having a blast and then dont even open the game for another 6 months after

Cossaxs 15 Jan @ 5:41pm

This is me, Except i play Russia instead.

overka5 12 Dec, 2024 @ 8:13pm

yea happens every time

SlayerPlayerNate 5 Oct, 2024 @ 8:09pm

I do this with America. Each game I cheese and minmax more and more. On my current save I have over 100 infamy and am seeking to occupying every European port outside of Europe itself, so that only I may rule the waves.

yulittle 27 Jul, 2024 @ 6:01pm

I went through all the motions then quit after Austria cock blocked me trying to add Baden to my sphere.

copeing :(

yulittle 27 Jul, 2024 @ 5:36pm

Dam, Now I kind of feel like playing Prussia again. Maybe THIS will be my perfect Greater Germany run (7th times the charm, am I right?)

Cursed701 17 Jul, 2024 @ 6:08pm

genius

rubicel1234 11 Jul, 2024 @ 5:27pm

it´s so specific and true

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